Freethought & Rationalism Archive

AspenMama · 03-24-2003, 08:40 PM

All Things Dull and Ugly
Composer: John Du Prez
Author: Eric Idle
From the Album 'Monty Python's Contractural Obligation'

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid--
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

Amen.

http://www.wilken.freeserve.co.uk/Mo...ongs/song2.htm

The Other Michael · 03-25-2003, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by blondegoddess
I started to wonder why God would spare an area that has thousands of millionaires, but would let impoverished third-world countries be struck by the same hurricane that threatened our bay.

It is because God is a compassionate conservative Republican, watching out for his own.

If you don't believe me, just ask the President - he'll be happy to confirm that.

A person interviewed a couple of days ago in the local paper said:

Quote:

"It feels good to pray" she said. "It feels like you actually can do something at a time when lots of things feel out of your control."

cheers,
Michael

Ensign Steve · 03-25-2003, 03:35 PM

I wanted to start a new thread, since this is OT, but it is really to trival for it's own thread, so here goes...

More than a year ago I was desparately looking for an apartment. I had less than a week to get out of the house I was living in, and had no place to go. Physically my body would have been fine in one of the many couches that is always open to me, but my material posessions would have been homeless, and that is not okay with me.

It was coming down to zero hour on this fabulous apartment I really truly wanted. The person who got it never showed up with the deposit, so now it was a toss-up between me and another family. I was so stressed out and I was not getting any work done, instead I was just sharing my story with anybody I could back into a corner.

Finally I got the call, and with an obsene deposit I was able to land the place. It's the fabulous apartment I live in to this day. I squealed with delight and shared my good news with the same people I had been bugging all day, and the receptionist, all smiles, told me (get this):

"I just knew you would get the apartment because I prayed to Jesus that you would get it."

I was floored! How the hell do you respond to this? I thought it was all my hard work and campaigning, not to mention my superb credit rating and references. Aparently, not. Jesus likes this lady so much that he gave the apartment to her atheist coworker instead of this other family with the wrong prayer circle.

Sorry, so long winded. Now back to your regularly scheduled rants.

BrotherMan · 03-25-2003, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JenniferD
Finally I got the call, and with an obsene deposit I was able to land the place.

Quote:

"I just knew you would get the apartment because I prayed to Jesus that you would get it."

How the hell do you respond to this? I thought it was all my hard work and campaigning, not to mention my superb credit rating and references. Aparently, not.

Like one should expect, the American Jesus responds well to money. It was your cold hard cash that got you the apartment.

Quote:

Jesus [loves] (edit: mine. Jesus is a lover, not a liker.) this lady so much that he gave the apartment to her atheist coworker instead of this other family with the wrong prayer circle.

Don't you see, JenniferD? It's so obvious now! Jesus loves you so and wants you to be happy! The poor family that didn't get your apartment (it was predestined to be yours, you needn't worry!) probably had a Methodist prayer chain - and we all know Methodists make the baby Jesus cry.

BrotherMan · 03-25-2003, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Albion
There never seems to be an appropriate time to ask the question about why God gets the credit for everything good but the bad things are met by dead silence on the subject.

There's not dead silence. We all should know the answer to why horrible things happen to innocent children.

Quote:

It's the will of God.

Or...

Quote:

God works in mysterious ways.

The only dead silence is the non-theist being speechless at such confounding dissonance.

03-25-2003, 03:35 PM	#33
Ensign Steve Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Augusta, Georgia, United States Posts: 1,235	Doesn't "He" have anything better to do? I wanted to start a new thread, since this is OT, but it is really to trival for it's own thread, so here goes... More than a year ago I was desparately looking for an apartment. I had less than a week to get out of the house I was living in, and had no place to go. Physically my body would have been fine in one of the many couches that is always open to me, but my material posessions would have been homeless, and that is not okay with me. It was coming down to zero hour on this fabulous apartment I really truly wanted. The person who got it never showed up with the deposit, so now it was a toss-up between me and another family. I was so stressed out and I was not getting any work done, instead I was just sharing my story with anybody I could back into a corner. Finally I got the call, and with an obsene deposit I was able to land the place. It's the fabulous apartment I live in to this day. I squealed with delight and shared my good news with the same people I had been bugging all day, and the receptionist, all smiles, told me (get this): "I just knew you would get the apartment because I prayed to Jesus that you would get it." I was floored! How the hell do you respond to this? I thought it was all my hard work and campaigning, not to mention my superb credit rating and references. Aparently, not. Jesus likes this lady so much that he gave the apartment to her atheist coworker instead of this other family with the wrong prayer circle. Sorry, so long winded. Now back to your regularly scheduled rants.

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03-24-2003, 08:40 PM	#31
AspenMama Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Colorado Posts: 3,311	All Things Dull and Ugly Composer: John Du Prez Author: Eric Idle From the Album 'Monty Python's Contractural Obligation' All things dull and ugly, All creatures short and squat, All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot. Each little snake that poisons, Each little wasp that stings, He made their brutish venom. He made their horrid wings. All things sick and cancerous, All evil great and small, All things foul and dangerous, The Lord God made them all. Each nasty little hornet, Each beastly little squid-- Who made the spikey urchin? Who made the sharks? He did! All things scabbed and ulcerous, All pox both great and small, Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all. Amen. http://www.wilken.freeserve.co.uk/Mo...ongs/song2.htm

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