Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Rushianbeing · 05-15-2003, 08:02 AM

This is a lame-o non-intellectual subject, but I was just curious to know if any of y'all out there have seen church marquee signs that made you laugh, or seethe, or puke...

Here's a couple I've seen around my holler:

"Stop, Drop and Roll Won't Work In Hell"

"Jesus: This Blood's For You"

Godot · 05-15-2003, 08:25 AM

I've always liked "the best position is on your knees."

Abacus · 05-15-2003, 08:28 AM

"Exposure to the Son prevents burning."

"Prayer doesn't need proof. It needs practice."

Rushianbeing · 05-15-2003, 08:58 AM

That reminds me of one I saw yesterday:

"Pray, believe, receive. Pray, doubt, do without."

I also saw this on the Methodist church here in town (the ONLY one, surrounded by Southern Baptists): "Live long and prosper."

Abacus · 05-15-2003, 09:00 AM

"God answers knee-mail."

pz · 05-15-2003, 09:23 AM

Fishing season opened here last weekend. In Alexandria, MN, I saw this sign:

"Be a fisher of men
bring them to us
Jesus will clean them"

I had this vision of a 50-ft Jesus with a filleting knife, disemboweling people and throwing their corpses on a grill.

NonHomogenized · 05-15-2003, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Abacus
"Exposure to the Son prevents burning."

And according to Matthew 25:40, Jebus said "I tell you the truth, just as you did it for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me."

So, obviously, Jebus wants us to become flashers, or he'll send us to hell.

Godless Dave · 05-15-2003, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pz
Fishing season opened here last weekend. In Alexandria, MN, I saw this sign:

"Be a fisher of men
bring them to us
Jesus will clean them"

I had this vision of a 50-ft Jesus with a filleting knife, disemboweling people and throwing their corpses on a grill.

Sven: "Say, dat's a good catch. What didja use fer bait?"

Jesus: "Eternal life."

Ole: "Dat work better den leeches?"

AquaVita · 05-15-2003, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pz
I had this vision of a 50-ft Jesus with a filleting knife, disemboweling people and throwing their corpses on a grill.

words. cannot. express.

:notworthy

enigma555 · 05-15-2003, 11:31 AM

"Joint Worship Service"

05-15-2003, 08:02 AM	#1
Rushianbeing Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: the holler, y'all Posts: 243	Classic church marquee signs This is a lame-o non-intellectual subject, but I was just curious to know if any of y'all out there have seen church marquee signs that made you laugh, or seethe, or puke... Here's a couple I've seen around my holler: "Stop, Drop and Roll Won't Work In Hell" "Jesus: This Blood's For You"

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05-15-2003, 08:25 AM	#2
Godot Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Calgary Posts: 1,335	I've always liked "the best position is on your knees."

05-15-2003, 08:28 AM	#3
Abacus Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Dakota Posts: 2,214	"Exposure to the Son prevents burning." "Prayer doesn't need proof. It needs practice."

05-15-2003, 08:58 AM	#4
Rushianbeing Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: the holler, y'all Posts: 243	That reminds me of one I saw yesterday: "Pray, believe, receive. Pray, doubt, do without." I also saw this on the Methodist church here in town (the ONLY one, surrounded by Southern Baptists): "Live long and prosper."

05-15-2003, 09:00 AM	#5
Abacus Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Dakota Posts: 2,214	"God answers knee-mail."

05-15-2003, 09:23 AM	#6
pz Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Morris, MN Posts: 3,341	Fishing season opened here last weekend. In Alexandria, MN, I saw this sign: "Be a fisher of men bring them to us Jesus will clean them" I had this vision of a 50-ft Jesus with a filleting knife, disemboweling people and throwing their corpses on a grill.

05-15-2003, 11:31 AM	#10
enigma555 Regular Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 282	"Joint Worship Service"

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