Pensee

Sumtin's been gittin my Paw's chikenz. We thinks its a coyote. See, were reel clever-like. Cant git nuttin past us. De udder day, we hid beehine da hen house and whatdaya know, but a reel coyote prawlin round. Well, slap me sillee and call me Sam! So my Paw's figered that since he only gots 2 chikenz left he better git sum mor afore the coyote gits em all.

Soz he gone to da farm store and bought sum mor babee chikenz. He gots 20 of dem succors. He gets dat manee soz he can gives all doze eggs away n his freindz wont hafta buy no eggs from de store. I told ya we wuz reel clever and we is. We aint stoopid. We nose if we put de babee chiks outside, da coyote will et dem up to. So we trickt dat dang coyote n keep de babee chiks inside! De only ding 'bout dat is de babee chicks is drivin me crazee. Dey chirp and scratch all day n nite. I useta like da sounds of birdz chirpin, but not no more.

Dey is still reel cute. I likz tiny fuzzy aminalz like dem chiks if dey'd just shudup. Anywayz I was sittin heah typin on da puter postin dis topic wit a babee chik on mah lap when de babee chik desidz to take a shit on me! We now has 19 babee chikz...

ju'iblex

That's all very sweet. But this, just like your small chicks, is going elsewhere.

hyuk.

BibleBelted

Pensee, now you have went and done gone did it for sure!!

Translation: You have made an egregious error in judgment.

If you want to hold a baby chick on your lap, you should spread some peat moss or ground corn cobs on your apron first. Now you have needlessly snuffed out the life of what may have been a prize layer, or maybe even a champeen fighting cock.

Shame on you. You need to get right and get in touch with this worthy organization:

Society for Chicken Love

By the way, congratulations on completing your requirements to become an English teacher. Any chance you may someday attempt to get certified to teach North of the Mason-Dixon line?

BibleBelted

This reminds me, regarding book recommendations for your (former) students - I strongly suggest the The Atheist Conspirators Cookbook.

It has a recipe for Baby Chick & Kitten Lasagna that'll have you lickin' the plate.





Mmmmm ... Now I'm gettin' hungry.

Putney Swope

That ain't nutin'. Jew shood see how big a chit ma medium sized parrots will doo. Tho not as tasty as Baby Chick & Kitten Lasagna, it will double as a great glue. Da chair don't squeek near as much as it used to.

And jew shood see how much a Macaw can drop. Dat's major league chit. Can cover your couch in tree o' four doos.