Jewel

Ok. I think I see where you are coming from. I deconverted when I was pretty young, so I guess I just never really went through that. At least not severely. Like I said before, I have on occasion thought about my future non existance, but it's one of those things I cannot change so I try not to dwell on it. However, I can see where it would be difficult coming to terms with it after 40 years of religious indoctrination.


Jewel

JCS

Ah yes...the delusion that makes all that is, bearable. That delusion IMHO is the source of great suffering in this world. It magnifies the hardships and pain of the here and now, while trivializing the joy and happiness of the here and now. The imagined " better place" sucks the pleasure out of life and fills that void with the despair of impotence.

You need to refocus, because you are still looking at the world and your life through the haze and distortion of christianity. Their promise of a better life(?) after death is the cure for the disease that they infected you with in the first place.

Because the alternative is non-life and what would be the point of that? Dead people don't have any fun.

Well duh!! Of course it will mean nothing too you after you expire, but what about all the life you get too experience before you expire? Realize that your apathy toward life was given to you and nurtured by the same group you have set yourself apart from. Your current condition is just a theological hangover

I worry about other peoples life's only when I find my own in good working order. It would be hard in your current state to make a difference in someone else's life, when you cannot currently comprehend making a difference in your own life. Give yourself time and distance from the theist point of view and engage yourself with things that you derive happiness from.

Yup! But I let go of it because it served no purpose but to make me feel worthless. Once I realized that this point of view was intentionally instilled in me for that exact purpose through my previous christian cult upbringing, I was able to work through it and leave it a the curb for Tuesdays trash pickup.

pescifish

Is it mortality that you are trying to come to terms with or the insignificance of our existence? I never found anything about the immortality and neverending aspect of the Christian afterlife that really changed the fact of my apparent inconsequence.

In my family, this distinction was visited early on. Although he died before I could really know him, my grandfather had a saying that my father shared with us fairly often: The "it is" part was replaced with "we are" or "I am" as appropriate.

My father had MS and pretty much physically deteriorated for 30 yrs. This was a major and natural force in the course of our family's lives. My father did not look ahead to his afterlife and he rarely bemoaned the loss of the life he may have expected. I believe his attitude reflected his belief that he might as well do what is right in front of him to the best of his abilities because now is all that really matters.

For me, the fact of my inconsequence is quite liberating.

When I followed a religion, I had very few thoughts of afterlife but I think any I did actually found the idea quite depressing. "Forever?!" as what sort of being, exactly?! Yikes.

KitKit

good point! the idea of immortality is what makes life seem useless to me. the fact that i will eventually die & cease to be makes living much more meaningful. not the other way around, like the religionists would have you believe. damn! talk about brainwashing!

AJ113

Once again thanks for the input.
In order to hasten the process of getting used to my new-found mortality, I have started trying to get in to the habit of making the current day more important than it used to be in my former existence, concentrating more on what I can achieve today before I go to bed.

Interesting. One of the pieces of advice given by Jesus in the NT is "worry about today, and let tomorrow look after itself."

I never really subscribed to that as a christian. How odd.

miss djax

aj,

i think what you are experiencing here is completely normal and expected....i say this as an existentialist, like ladyshea and you, right now, are having an existneial crisis. let me refer to sartre, the big daddy of existentialism, to help explain...

For Sartre', the key aspect of our existence is the existential crisis: the moment you realize that you are fundamentally alone in the universe. There is not a God to answer your prayers or to guide you - or give your life meaning and purpose. The existential crisis is psychologically much like the grieving process: Once you are told the fact of existence, you will deny it, get angry, but will ultimately have to accept it....Once you accept it, despair and anguish set in. (Some existentialists, like Camus really seem to dwell on these negative emotions). But ultimately, like the grieving process, you can move thru that.

This is why I think existentialism gets a bad name. So you have an existential crisis, and there is no happily ever after and a big ole sky daddy...so what..it seems to me that you should be doing backflips.. have a party...

what it means is that your life is your own. you can decide for you what has meaning and what is important..it is your own choices and decisions that matter..

it can be stressful and scary tho..when you have a framework from religion, it makes decision making easier because there are clear lines about what to do and not do..in my house, it meant no rock music and no r rated movies..no drinking, no smoking, and thats all there was to it...in a sense there was a lack of decision making that was required..the only important decision was to choose jesus.

so, unchosing a diety is scary as hell...NOW how do you base decisions and decision making? this is what sartre i believe is referring to as anguish and despair. its the time between discovering that there is no god and understanding life goes on.....

when you finally decide what has meaning for you, you will have moved out of the existential crisis....

this time is hard, i won't lie......i suffered enormously when i deconverted...but its better on the other side of the abyss.....

i know who i am, whats important, and have my own framework for assessing my decisions...in moments of weakness i do confess that i wish that i could believe again, because it is easier that way.....but i don't believe, and thats that...

good luck

miss djax

Ape31

I recall reading Carl Sagan's description of the earth as being a pale blue dot when viewed from several billion miles away (as seen in a photograph taken by the Voyager spacecraft). All of human history, every leader, every hero, every civilization, every human being, lived and died on this tiny blue rock.

The most striking thing about this view is that it is so obviously true. In my experience most atheists, myself included, view this with awe and humility and most find it completely liberating.

Of course, to those who have only recently let go of a worldview that sees the universe as simply a stage for our human play I can see how this can be somewhat depressing.

r.

AJ113

miss djax
Thanks for your help
I think you're right, it does feel a bit like the grieving process, and as I said earlier, that kind of problem tends to wear off with time.

Again, I think you're right about the backflips, too. I can see myself in the not-too-distant future realisng just what this new-found freedom really means. I'm not quite there, yet, I'm still in "grieving" mode, but I'm sure it's not too far away.

athee

Or as I say to others who think this is the center of the universe:

" We live on a spec of dust floating around a lightbulb in the middle of nowhere..... why do you think this is the center of everything?"

CX

With no afterlife, do you have anything better to do? I mean if this is my only shot at existence I might as well make the most of it and have a good time while I'm here. Life is fun. Enjoy it. If you only get one shot and that for an extremely brief time why worry about anything else. So you won't care about it when you're dead. So what? Why should that mean there's no point to it now. Live in the now, man. I mean, like, why watch the Stanley Cup playoffs (GO DUCKS!!!) when there's just going to be another one next year with a different winner? Because this year's cup is on NOW and it's a hell of a lot of fun. (Substitute your own analogy if hockey isn't your thing).