beth

Hi Helen.

I would have no problem attending church because of my kids. But I do fear that my husband will divulge to the pastor. I do not want to even speak to him(my pastor) about this. I know he's going to try to pressure me. I also am leary of communion. I will now be pressured to take it. I no longer want to. That is my objection to church.

beth

Um, well it goes a little deeper than what I've revealed. He found a book on Atheist philosophy and an old book of shadows from when I was a teenager. I had kept the book because it was filled with info on medicinal herbs and their purposes. I thought that I had ripped out all the spells, but in the back of the book, it was filled with spells and a ritual for invoking the Goddess. So, he got a double whammy. Although I've been casting no spells or invoking anything, he blamed me for him suddenly having anxiety attacks. So I'm super evil in his eyes right now.

HelenM

I understand

They should not pressure you to take communion. Show them 1 Cor 11 where it says that people who take communion 'unworthily' get sick and/or even die.

So he really thinks you put a spell on him???

Maybe you can use the Bible in this way - you can point out to him that Job 1 indicates nothing happens to a person unless God allows it. The devil has to ask God's permission to do anything to Job. He can't until God says 'yes'.

I get the impression that he'd leap on any evidence right now about you being a secret devil-worshipper for years, such as that book...it's probably not worth trying to reason with him that you weren't because he doesn't sound like he's being rational.

Anyway, if he's having anxiety attacks, clearly he has some problems that are his own and he's simply trying to avoid facing up to them by blaming you for the attacks. His mind and body are having them and he needs to come to terms with that.

As for the pastor putting pressure on you, well...you can tell him he needs to be careful because evidently you can curse people into having anxiety attacks. Just ask your husband . (No, don't really say that unless someone else in the room has a sense of humor! )

Hang in there...I wish you the best with resolving what to do on Sunday...

take care
Helen

Hobbs

????? !!!!! .....

I have no words, but to say "congratulations" for making it out of such a childhood with your sanity intact.

{{{{blondegoddess}}}}

beth

Why, thank you, Hobbs. It was quite a feat. I probably am not too sane, though.

beth

I just got myself off the prayer chain at last. That was hard. I couldn't say why, other than I was going through a hard time right now. My best friend is the church secretary. We were able to make small talk. I just avoided subjects on God. I tried to talk to her about my faith, but she just sounded so puzzled with me. I feel so strange talking to her as an unbeliever.

beth

Well, my husband has been witnessing to me, but he's been doing it indirectly. He talks to the kids and everyone about God, but the things he says are aimed at me. He said it's the computer's fault, so he was going to get rid of it. I told him he'd better not or I'd make a poppet of him and do voodoo on it. He didn't know what to say about that!

HelenM

It sounds like he deserved that comment!

Seriously though, I hope he doesn't get rid of your computer

take care
Helen

beth

I don't think he will. But now he's convinced I'm having cyber-sex with someone. I told him if I wanted to do that, I'd find the real thing, instead.(I'm very faithful.)

He made me show him my email accounts yesterday. I only showed him two.(He doesn't know I have eight. I collect them.) Then he checked some of the forums I post in, not here though. He didn't know about pm's, thankfully! So, I've really got to go in and clean my hard drive up now. He was an engineer and knows how to program the code, so he's no dummy with the computer, he just avoids them because he thinks they are the 'devil.'

He's having a new lap top built for me and I told him that I'd better get that by the end of the month. I'm meaner now, cause he's getting on my nerves.

Then he told me that he thinks I'm slowly poisoning him. (His mom poisoned his dad once with ipecac. But he deserved it, still deserves it.) So now he keeps saying I am. I told him if I poisoned him, I would leave no room for speculation...

I do think it is a cross between revulsion and a turn on at the thought of having an evil wife though. I don't think he can decide which one it is, yet.

HelenM

It sounds like you're holding your own extremely well

And you probably know how to wear down your husband's defenses/persuade him that 'evil' wives are not so bad...

It's interesting he thinks you'd prefer to poison him/curse him than simply leave him. Anyway if he'll let you tease him about such things then that's a pretty good sign. I guess you're going to whether he lets you or not, in fact!

It does seem as though he's listening to you somewhat and I think that's great. I hope the two of you can find a way not to let this break up your marriage - just as I hope that for everyone else here who wants to stay married, whose marriage relationship has been very difficult due to religious differences

Helen