Freethought & Rationalism Archive

faithful slave pedro · 05-17-2003, 09:58 AM

Originally posted by The Frood Dude
Did you get banned and I missed it or something?

Yassuh.

Gunnaheave, Darwin's Finch, many thanks.

mfaber, I don't believe Dobson made the remarks at the hearings. Unfortunately there is no text attached to those CRI reference numbers. Anyway, this is for Lawyer4God:

____________________

Dear Lawyer4God:

Thank you for your delightful post. Unfortunately I am unable to respond directly due to an administrative error, and I wish to thank whoever is conveying this message for their kind and selfless generosity. However let me assure you I have treated your threat of litigation with the high degree of gravity it so very clearly merits.

I would also like to apologize for the delay in composing this reply, and I truly wish I could have done so sooner. I'm sure you'll agree that many of us often have rather dire and pressing issues with which to contend, issues that make inconvenient demands on our intended schedules. For example, I have recently been occupied rearranging my sock drawer. And just yesterday I had to spend several hours watching a fly crawl up a wall. This was especially inconvenient, since I was just then in the process of observing the paint dry on that wall.

At any rate, as I had previously suggested, the reference to James Dobson's comical hallucination appears in a published book on the Attorney General's 1986 Report on Pornography, a.k.a. the Meese Commission. What follows is the relevant extract:

Quote:

James "I've Only Slept With Shirley" Dobson � worked the chastity routine into a brief speech at the National Religious Broadcasters Association meeting last February [1986].

[Dobson describes returning home to Los Angeles during a break in the Meese Commission hearings.] "My children were safe from all that misery, molestation, death, in their bedrooms. In the other bedroom Shirley waited for me, being faithful to me, in thought and deed, every minute, every second from the time that we were married, and I to her. Both of us having reserved ourselves for one another, for that moment."

But how many husbands who say such things about their wives also believe that Satan drives a black Porsche? Perhaps Dr. Dobson is alone in this sample of the American population. While he sat on the panel, both his children, a daughter and a son, reportedly had separate, near-accidental-death experiences with the Devil at the wheel of a black Porsche. "I think the Lord said to me, 'Yes, these things are connected and I did do a miracle on behalf of your children,'" he told the same NRB crowd. "And I would appreciate it if you would all remember to say a prayer, especially as we go to write the final [Meese Commission] report."

Philip Nobile and Eric Nadler, United States of America vs. Sex (New York: Minotaur Press, 1986), pp. 277-278

From what I understand Dobson was at least sensible enough not to have made his remarks during the Meese Commission hearings themselves, and I did spend some time attempting to confirm this fact by perusing the two volumes of the Attorney General's report. Despite applying due diligence in investigating this matter, I am sorry to report that I was unable to continue this perusal for long, since the report itself is a catalogue of prurient depravity the likes of which I had never in my life come across (so to speak).

In fact it is no wonder that James Dobson, having spent several months willingly exposing himself to the referenced materials, became so psychologically unhinged that he began hallucinating demons in expensive German sports cars pursuing his own children. However as the Reverend Barry Lynn said at the time, "Although I personally find much of the material in this volume highly offensive, I would nevertheless defend absolutely the federal government's right to print it." (See Nobile and Nadler, p. 228.)

As if that wasn't bad enough I was also forced to view, by dint of your numerous demands for proper citation, several back issues of Religious Broadcasting, The Official Publication of National Religious Broadcasters, in order to confirm that Dobson did in fact speak at that organization's February, 1986 conference, which took place in Washington, D.C. Modesty and the strictures of this discussion board forbid me from describing the catalogue of unspeakable horrors contained therein. However let me attempt to summarize the contents of this despicable periodical in one word: Carman. I think you get my drift.

In conclusion, and having little doubt in my mind that you will remain unsatisfied with the above citation, let me say I am very much looking forward to receiving your complaint alleging defamation of James Dobson, regardless of the fact that he is plainly a general purpose or universal public figure. In the meantime it's only fair to warn you that I am currently preparing a counterclaim containing my own set of allegations. Since, by the action of your numerous demands, you willfully, intentionally, and forcefully subjected me to the foul nature of the materials mentioned above, I intend to allege several elements supporting the tort of intentional infliction of emotional distress on your part, brought about by the viewing of these materials (the NRB magazine, not the Meese Report).

I await your novel means of serving process against me.

Yours, etc.,
Pedro F.X. Dalla Scalia

____________________

mfaber · 05-17-2003, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by seebs
Riiiiiiight. Chased by Satan in a porsche. I find myself suspicious that he knew it was Satan because he had dark skin, and we all *know* dark-skinned people can't afford Porsches. SHEESH! What a raving looney!

I love the way people invent elaborate excuses for a powerful supernatural being to interact with them in ways perfectly consistent with dozens of other explanations.

Another Bill's Goat

Here's another "black Porsche" story from another prominent Christian, Billy Graham that I heard myself when one of his crusades was televised in my area. He claimed that Satan feared the work done by his crusades. He knew this for a fact because he actually had an agent of Satan try to physically prevent him from getting to a particular rally. Who was the "agent of Satan? A GOAT!!! Apparently he was in a pasture with a billy goat who kept chasing and butting him, knocking him to the ground. The goat didn't attack him unless he attempted to stand and flee. Now Graham needed to be at a rally at a particular time and this goat wasn't keen on letting him leave the pasture without a serious bruising. Graham eventually eluded the goat (he prayed for "deliverance" for this agent of Satan) and got to the rally. Graham "interpreted" this territorial activity by the goat as a personal attack by Satan to prevent him from spreading God's word (can you say monster ego, MUCH, Graham baby!).

When I heard this, I almost couldn't believe my ears!!!

faithful slave pedro · 05-17-2003, 11:54 AM

Sonofabitch closed the thread.

Stephen Maturin · 05-17-2003, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by faithful slave pedro
In conclusion, and having little doubt in my mind that you will remain unsatisfied with the above citation, let me say I am very much looking forward to receiving your complaint alleging defamation of James Dobson, regardless of the fact that he is plainly a general purpose or universal public figure. In the meantime it's only fair to warn you that I am currently preparing a counterclaim containing my own set of allegations. Since, by the action of your numerous demands, you willfully, intentionally, and forcefully subjected me to the foul nature of the materials mentioned above, I intend to allege several elements supporting the tort of intentional infliction of emotional distress on your part, brought about by the viewing of these materials (the NRB magazine, not the Meese Report).

lol. Well done, effendi. :notworthy If forcing someone to read such vile and heinous horrors doesn't qualify as extreme and outrageous misconduct, then nothing ever could. You'll almost certainly have a viable malicious civil prosecution or abuse of process claim too. Hell, if discovery goes well enough you might even be able to pierce the corporate veil, as it were, and get at God's personal assets.

If Lawer4God is the best representation the Almighty can afford, times must be awfully tough in heaven. The middlemen must be pocketing a higher percentage of the take these days.

faithful slave pedro · 05-17-2003, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by Stephen Maturin
Hell, if discovery goes well enough you might even be able to pierce the corporate veil, as it were, and get at God's personal assets.

Haha, right you are. In my religion (and, I suspect, yours) we refer to God as "The Pocket."

seebs · 05-17-2003, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stephen Maturin

If Lawer4God is the best representation the Almighty can afford, times must be awfully tough in heaven. The middlemen must be pocketing a higher percentage of the take these days.

Well, we know who gets all the *good* lawyers. :P

Stephen Maturin · 05-17-2003, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by seebs
Well, we know who gets all the *good* lawyers. :P

Yeah, the insurance industry, which pretty much equates perfectly with the entity you had in mind.

Smilin · 05-17-2003, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kassiana
Hrm. You haven't been having much fun lately, have you, Smilin?

Why yes I have! Actually... I was banned from CF for being liberal in a liberal thread.. (go figure)...
I've took up studying the Kuma Satra (haven't made it past the first chapter yet... arggghh.. dammitt but I'm trying!
Moved back into my old house, roasted a pig today for friends, family, and clients,..
And researching on how to paint my daughter's room purple (her choice) and have it come out acceptable to my own tastes as well.

Everyone still up for a weekend in Las Vegas?

Quote:

Sorry you feel that you're chasing the horizon when it comes to the whole God business.

Life is circular, my spiritual journey has arrived where it began last year and is thus complete!

I find more enjoyment in Native American Traditions than I do Christianity. Case closed!

Quote:

All I can tell you is that since age 13, I have felt the presence of the Divine in my life, and that it really doesn't resemble the hateful deity described in the Bible or worshipped by the CF bots.

The God of War, Hate, Bigotry, Intolerance, Ignorance and Stupidity that many worship I have no desire of anymore.

As I mentioned before, you're notion of the 'Great Divine' I do find more comforting & peaceful than I find the hatred spewed forth by the brainwashed fundamentalists at CF. I only regret the young minds that will be corrupted by their notions of 'Satanic Possession" and that Evolutionary Science amounts to mixing a rock with a fish to get a bird. :P

gladiatrix.. can you resend your last responses (on this server).... I'd REALLY love to audit your class this Summer... hehehheheheheh

Gunnaheave... ummm... I thought all of Arizona was a desert????

Annabel.. Thank for all those candles!

Seebs; Thanks for the encouraging words!

To my fundamentalist 'friend' who loves to watch but won't speek...
damm... don't have any 'moonie' smilies on this computer...
Well... you got what you wanted... didn't you?

Smilin · 05-17-2003, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stephen Maturin
Yeah, the insurance industry, which pretty much equates perfectly with the entity you had in mind.

Good Lawyers? BAHAHHAHAHAHA... that's irony at its finest!

Me? I'll take a Satanic lawyer ANY DAY in court.

You stick with a Lawyer from God.. you're gonna get screwed!

(figuratively... not literally... well.. maybe literally)

Smilin · 05-17-2003, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by faithful slave pedro
Originally posted by Stephen Maturin
Hell, if discovery goes well enough you might even be able to pierce the corporate veil, as it were, and get at God's personal assets.

Haha, right you are. In my religion (and, I suspect, yours) we refer to God as "The Pocket."

hahahah... lol... I just called him the same thing I called my earthly Father...

Life has gotten better.. he must appreciate talk like that huh?

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05-17-2003, 11:54 AM	#1053
faithful slave pedro Junior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: US Posts: 89	Sonofabitch closed the thread.

05-17-2003, 01:33 PM	#1055
faithful slave pedro Junior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: US Posts: 89	Originally posted by Stephen Maturin Hell, if discovery goes well enough you might even be able to pierce the corporate veil, as it were, and get at God's personal assets. Haha, right you are. In my religion (and, I suspect, yours) we refer to God as "The Pocket."

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