Dibble Helix

Hmm.. Just write back to her saying .. "look, you couldn't have known this but I find stories about bears eating people very arousing. This really isn't appropriate in an office environment. Can we meet to discuss it later?"

That should stop the e-mails!

[or maybe not!]

Dibble

Jobar

Months ago, the editor of a little shitpot local paper used that very same joke. I wrote a letter back and started with this-

An atheist is rowing about in a small boat on Loch Ness. Suddenly, the monster rises up out of the deeps and starts battering the boat. In fear for his life, the atheist shouts "God help me!"

Abruptly everything freezes, and the atheist hears an echoing voice saying "But I thought you did not believe in me."

"Give me a break, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!"

beth

I'd respond with this one. It's cute.

integral domain

Oh come on... that's a funny joke! I laughed a lot when I read it. I like the Loch ness one too.

SOme of you guys just need to relax. We make jokes about religious people all the time.

beth

You're right. I had just gone through the ringer, yesterday, because of religion. So my replies were slanted. I'm sorry.

trekbette

Thank you to everyone for their input.

I know this is not a meant to be a hateful type of joke. However, I did ask my co-worker to stop sending me this kind of stuff because she does mean it in a "you're wrong for not believing in [my] god" type of way.

I replied by writing, "Wow, that was funny. I have one here for you..." and sent her the forward with body parts falling off. She probably won't understand the message, but it made me laugh.

Thanks again.

P.S. I laughed at the Loch Ness joke too.

MzNeko

Well, if she does it again, send her the Loch Ness one.

I'd save Kissing Hank's Ass for if she REALLY pisses you off...

And if she really, really, super-dooper pisses you off, send her random selections from the Highly Blasphemous and Offensive Photoshop Competition Thread

Of course, I like option #3 just because...

Ensign Steve

Okay, you've already sent your reply, but I couldn't resist adding this one. Maybe this thread could be moved to humor? Heehee.

It's a visual joke, though, so not exactly appropriate for email forwarding (also I'm telling it from memory, so my delivery may be a bit "off").

It seems a man wanted to try sky-diving for the very first time, so he went and took the class, and then got onto the plane. As the plane was ascending, he became very nervous and began to ask the instructor for a little review.

Instructor: Here is the rip cord. When you pull it, your parachute will come out. It is very simple.
Student: But what if the chute doesn't open?
Instructor: No problem. Then you pull this rip cord, and your reserve chute will deploy.
Student (getting more nervous): Okay, but what if the reserve chute doesn't open?
Instructor: Don't worry, if that happens, all you have to do is pull your legs up into a lotus position, and chant: Bhudda-Bhudda-Bhudda!
Student: Are you serous?!
Instructor: I promise you, it will work.

When they reach the proper altitude, the diver works up the nerve and jumps out of the plane. He enjoys the time in freefall and considers it to be the most amazing experience of his life! Once he is ready, he pulls on that rip cord, and the parachute doesn't deploy! Getting a little nervous, he reaches around to deploy the reserve chute, but it also fails. A bit skeptical, but desparate to try anything, he pulls his legs up into a lotus position and chants: Bhudda-Bhudda-Bhudda!

Amazingly, a giant gentle hand reaches out from the heavens and catches the man. It slowly starts lowering him back down to the earth. The diver says "THANK GOD!"

This is the visual part: You SLAM your palm down on your knee or table. (get it?)

okay, have fun!

Jen

beastmaster

?? The sound of one hand clapping?? /confused

Ensign Steve

No, it's more like Buddha becoming so offended that the diver thanked God instead of Buddha, that he slams the diver down onto the surface of the earth. Not very Bhuddist of him, but hey, it's just a joke! And it's remeniscient of those people who always thank god for saving them, instead of (not in addition to) the fire department or surgeon or whoever actually did the work.

Jen