BioBeing

Adultery to me = cheating & lying. Cheating and lying are wrong, therefore adultery is wrong.

keyser_soze

Exactly. Succinct.

Oxymoron

"Right"
"Wrong"
Hmph. Too simplistic. Too Xian.
"Serving the interests of a relationship (or not)" is more like it.
In which case the answer is obviously NOT.

fatherphil

this definition will suffice:

Main Entry: adul·tery
Pronunciation: &-'d&l-t(&-)rE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ter·ies
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of avoutrie, from Middle French, from Latin adulterium, from adulter adulterer, back-formation from adulterare
Date: 15th century
: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : an act of adultery

& oxy, sorry if it is too simplistic. i failed to ask for clarification when taking my marriage vows

Loren Pechtel

In general I will agree that it's wrong (with the provision that open marriages are not adultry). However, I don't think it's always wrong. What about the case where the marriage has become more a caretaker role. The disabled person may not give permission--may not even be able to give permission. I would not regard adultry in such a situation to be wrong.

In a more general case, I think sexual fidelity is pretty much the other side of the coin of sexual access--if the sex is no longer there (and not merely for temporary reasons) then I don't see that there is any obligation of fidelity, either.

fatherphil

what if its not there for 27 days out of the month? or 6 days of the week? what are the limits and demands? how about during pregnancy or overseas assignment?

also i think i gave you guys a cop out with the third option. really either it is wrong or it is right. trying to avoid situational ethics. if you would maintain that there are instances where the activity is acceptable then it would be by definition "right" period.

Psycho Economist

I don't think so. It would be "right" if it was somehow always appropriate and "wrong" if it's some how always inappropriate. For the acceptability to depend on the situation (e.g. whether there's any deception or other breach of trust involved) means it is potentially either: not necessarily, catagorically one or the other. That sounds like neither to me.

beastmaster

The practice of adultery is justifiable; the concept of adultery is unjustified.

I think fatherphil's definition is right. "Adultery" means sex by a married person with someone other than one's spouse. Adultery is not equivalent to infidelity or deceit. Polyamorous and open marriages are adulterous by definition, even if there is no infidelity or deceit. (Adultery is a religious concept. Because adultery is supposed to be a crime against god, having your spouse's consent is not sufficient to authorize adultery, in the eyes of the church.)

The practice of adultery for some people makes a lot of sense. There are plenty of circumstances where sex on the side is preferable to the alternatives for both spouses.

Adultery is a stupid concept and should be eliminated. Lifelong marital monogamy may have made sense in a bygone era when the average life expectancy was pushing 40. Nowadays, when people can expect to live several decades after marriage, the"ideal" of lifelong sexual allegiance becomes all the more unworkable. Moreover, the concept of adultery is an affront to modern values, which holds that the individuals should decide the rules for their relationship, not the church and not the state.

I answered RIGHT on the poll, but on second thought I probably should have answered NEITHER.

tribalbeeyatch

Oops, then my vote should be moved to "neither". My wedding vows didn't include anything about whether my wife and I were allowed to agree to invite others into our bed if we want. I would vote "right", but then that would really depend on whether the adultery was okayed by the spouse or not.

Jackalope

Defnitely a reglious definition of the term. "Adultery" is a sin. "Infidelity" on the other hand, involves deceit and betrayal of the terms of a given relationship whatever those terms might be.

Adultery is a stupid idea. Infidelity is wrong.