elanah

I haven't made too much of a big deal about it, but I think they've gotten by now that I'm at least not traditionally religious, and I'm pretty sure my mom grasps that I'm an atheist. There's never really been a point when I flat-out told them, however- probably because I was never raised with religion in any case, and it never came up.

And if they didn't know by now, the copy of Why I Am Not A Christian laying on the coffee table might clue them in.

Swoop

Thanks for the responses, all. To be honest I'm a little surprised that more people seem to be "in the closet" than out... but at any rate, my mind is made up, and most likely this weekend I'll be stepping out. Passover is approaching fast, and I just can't sit through that bullshit one more time. I just can't.

Since I've moved out the house (now my 4th year out), every year at every holiday I've promised myself "This is it.", to tell my mother (I have no idea how my father will react - mainly because I actually have no idea what his beliefs currently are) I want no further part of those crude and laughable customs (of course, I'll try put it nicely )... but I always end up feeling a kind of "pre-guilt"... I know it's going to make her very unhappy, so I leave it and think "next time". I can't do that any more. In respecting her beliefs, I'm sitting on my own - and I can't think of any good reason to do that. I can still respect her beliefs, without being coerced to participate, and all she has to do is respect mine. If she can't respect my beliefs, does she really deserve my respect for hers?

I don't want a confrontation, but there's really nothing for it. The future invites to traditional holiday dinners will need pretty good declining excuses, and I'm not one for lying.
I'm quite confident I'll be hearing the standard "I should've given you a better religious grounding as a child"/"Where did I go wrong?" responses, and I have many of my own (I'd actually like to thank her for not fully indoctrinating me... dunno how that will be received)... I guess which I use will depend on how things go.
I doubt it will be pleasant.

Sigh.

Bill Snedden

No, my parents do not know, although they may suspect. They are certainly aware that I have an antagonism towards religious authoritarianism in general and fundamentalism in particular. They're also aware that I'm a strong supporter of science and a skeptic of the supernatural. From all the conversations we've had about the unfortunate influence of organized religion in the world, they may well have put two and two together, but if so, they've not said anything to me.

My parents are both Roman Catholic and attend church regularly. However, they are both excellent representations of the American "Cafeteria" Catholic, essentially "picking and choosing" the tenets they like and discarding the rest. After my youngest sister was born (their fifth child), they began regularly using birth control, dismissing the church's admonition against it as "unrealistic and unreasonable". A couple of years ago when the church formally declared the idea of female priests heretical, my mother dismissed it as "ridiculous". When I questioned her about the supposed infallibility of the Pope and the CDF, she replied, "He's just a man. They're only men."

My father is at least as skeptical of religious authoritarianism as I and sometimes I get the idea that he only goes to church for my mother. I hesitate to ask him, though, as I really don't know how he'd react.

Interestingly, my youngest sister has been a pagan for about 5 or 6 years now. She even had a pagan wedding, which my mother described as "having a mediaeval theme." At the time, I think my parents were either completely clueless as to my sister's actual beliefs, or actively practicing self-deception. Since then, however, she has had lengthy discussions about her beliefs with them and they seem pretty much okay with it. In my mother's words, "as long as she believes in something..."

I think, in the final analysis, they believe that good people go to heaven, bad people go to hell. Belief/non-belief really don't have anything to do with it. Still, I think it would worry them if I "came out", so I haven't. I won't lie if asked, but I haven't volunteered it.

Now, my in-laws are quite a different story. They're both Missouri Synod Lutherans and quite active in their church. One of my wife's brothers is a rather conservative Episcopal priest and another is an evangelical Presbyterian (if that's not a contradiction in terms). I have no intention whatsoever of revealing my true beliefs to them although I'm reasonably sure that they are aware that I'm something of a skeptic. My wife and I are currently planning a family and are more than a little concerned with their reactions when we tell them we're not having our children baptized. We're considering joining the Unitarian church for just that eventuality...

Regards,

Bill Snedden

StrongMan

My parents have both known since I was about 16. But my dad is one too so that helped a lot.

My mom believes something, she doesn't even know what it is though. But both of my parents are very Liberal, both read a lot, my dad loves science and is always reading science books or magazines. I can remember being young and watching all kinds of science shows with him and my mom. We never went to church and we never really talked about religion.

I became an atheist after trying to find religion. All my friends and favorite athletes we Christians so I decided to look into becoming one. What I found out was amazing, amazing that people actually believed all this bullshit.

B34RZ0R

I have said that I am an Atheist around my father but I don't think he really understands what I am about anyway... My mother died in 2000 so she never knew.. though she was concerned for my soul before death because I wasnt Christian. I think most of my family understand that I am an Atheist, I think they all really got the hint when I changed my main email contact to Atheist555@myinternetserviceprovider.net I use the atheist555 as my monicker in MSN chat rooms I think a lot of people think that Atheists are just 'mad at God'. To this I respond ... there is no God... and then a fundy backlash occurs and I sit back and chuckle...
Thats my story and I'm stickin to it
Be Well
*Bear*

(edited to tell you that the e-mail link doesnt work that isnt my real ISP at the end there :P)

Snydar

yes, they've known since i was in 3rd grade. when i was sent to the office to trying to explain to a kid why god wasn't real and making him cry in the process. damn i was an evil little kid.

-Chris
ccs8837@swt.edu

never been there

I assume that they assume I'm an atheist, we don't discuss it really but off-hand rude comments communicate that we're simply in different regions of the same reality.

My mother is a bit more interested in the various Things That Go Bump In The Night, but not in any organized religion way. My Dad was raised Catholic and can't understand why that alone wouldn't cure anyone of believing in god.

I think they'd be pretty concerned if either my brother or I got involved in a church.

As a child, I knew that many, but not all, of my peers attended church but we didn't. And by the time we were all 15, they didn't either.

Mr.Fantasy

Good luck swoop, thats a tough situation Its for the better, gl.

MollyMac

I recently had an immensely frustrating argument with my mother who said I shouldn't tell my own children what to believe but let them decide for themselves. I told her that is exactly what I was doing, to which she replied: "So why don't they believe in God then?"
:banghead:

I then pointed out that I'd had no free choice - she had tried to brainwash me from birth into believing, "God is up there watching everything you do, don't forget to say your prayers etc. etc."
She categorically denied doing any of this and said that I'd been a very religious child and it had been entirely my own choice.:banghead: :banghead:

I gave up then. She is 80, after all. My father kept quiet about his atheism throughout my childhood, btw.

MollyMac

Sorry, I meant to begin the above post by saying that it has only recently dawned on my mother that I'm an atheist because I now work full time for an atheist organisation. Religion has never been that much of an issue in my family - certainly never something we discussed over dinner etc.