Dark Cobra

I'm straight.

I know why I feel what I do. That doesn't change the fact that I don't like it.

Dark Cobra

Nobody has any of the links I asked for? That sucks.

phlebas

Didn't this same conversation happen with someone else around here about a year ago?

Feeling of attraction are part of your biological makeup. It's been around since long before your species has. Associating those biological phenomena with Britney Spears is as short-sighted as thinking you know everything about yourself at the age of 17.

If you don't want to engage in those things, don't. The pull will be with you until you get to be much older, unless you do something drastic to your body chemistry (maybe -- I'm not even sure if that's possible).

I think Loren mentioned a psychologist. I agree. This is not just about tank tops, and the sooner you get to the root of this strange issue you have, the sooner you can return to the human race.

Your choice, of course.

Loren Pechtel

I wasn't the person who originally suggested it, I was merely seconding the notion.

Dark Cobra

I know it's a part of my biological makeup.

However, it bugs me, and since it is improbable I will ever be in a relationship with someone judging from myself and others, I need to find some way to deal with it.

It's like being thirsty while wading in polluted water, yet you are unable to even bend down and drink in the first place.

villainess

Elizabeth Abbot wrote a book entitled The History of Celibacy but I haven't read it yet.

My take on the issue (I'm only an advice columnsist's stunt double):

You have every damn right to want to date someone very much like yourself. In general, shared life experiences, values, and ideas help relationships stay congenial for both parties.

Yes, most people, especially in high school, are kind of shallow and halfwitted and you won't be wanting to date them even if they look like (insert your idea of attractive here) but there's no use being angry at them, they're just people and people are like that. Now, college really will help, unless you go to BJU or something; at the bare minimum you'll be sprung from the social status reindeer games that have no doubt already catagorized you where you are now.

Also, there's no real harm in having a lust fling or two with someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with, so long as you use protection (can't emphasize that enough) and don't give your partner any false impressions about what you're offering relationship-wise.

However, if all that is not for you (and it's not for everybody) I have a magical real-time solution for anger, lust, love and any other foolish thing you may not want to feel: sublimation.

Strong emotion is a marvelous energy source, particularly suited to fueling the creative arts and physical fitness. (If the "popular culture" of your school is anything like mine was, the idea of physical fitness may squick you, but I'm talking about taking care of yourself and staying healthy, not becoming a jock.) The key to sublimation is not focusing on your own state of mind, your early-onset maturity, your despair, whatever. Do whatever it takes to find a project so all-encompassing that it will take you entirely out of yourself. Don't just write a story; write an epic trilogy and create new languages and cultures to go with it. Don't just draw a picture; fill up a dozen sketch pads with exhaustive character studies for a graphic novel, or force yourself to do a comic strip a day every day for four years straight, including holidays. Write wanky reviews of every movie you see and every album you listen to. Code something so revolutionary and useful it will make Google look like a dumb fad. Go down in the lab and resurrect dead tissue using only the power of lightening. Whatever it takes. That way, whether or not you ever look up and find yourself with a partner (and judging by the raw numbers, it's highly improbable that you won't at some point, even if it doesn't last,) at least you'll have well-developed talents.

(By the way, I may want to snag that bit about sublimation for my advice column later on, with your permission of course.)

the.villainess

phlebas

You're, what, just out of your junior year in high school, in a suburb of Omaha. I know it sounds condescending, but you are too young to know what you're talking about at this point. Being intelligent does little to help with this kind of thing.

You will meet a much broader cross-section of people after high school. For now, I know it's a bit of a distraction and it can be annoying, but it's hardly a problem unique to you.


I suggest holding off on the kinky stuff until you get a bit more experience.

Daggah

Get over yourself already.

Non-praying Mantis

The question is: Do you want to be in a relationship? How about with a woman who is your intellectual equal? A physical relationship with a beautiful woman who also is your intellectual match as well is what everyone dreams of! Do you?

With an attitude like that, I know that you will fail to be in a good relationship with woman. Trust me on that point. Women will know that you are not enthusiastic about a relationship and leave you alone.

How do you know the water is polluted if you haven't even smelled it or tasted it? It might just surprise you!

Come on in, the water's fine!

NPM

Stiletto One

You know, I'm increasingly agreeing with Daggah here...

The whole "it's part of pop culture" thing, I have to dismiss that as BULLSHIT. Get over yourself; if you have such a need to have the moral high ground over everybody else in your school, and you seriously find normal human sexuality oh-so-disgusting, go become a monk or something.

On a less negative note, you'll get over it when you collide with someone you're actually compatible with. It doesn't matter whether or not you believe it will happen, because it will whether you want it to or not.