Loki

Hey all.

Here's the story: my entire family, the entire bloody lot of 'em are R.Catholic. It's not really that they believe in the religion so much, but (I think) they see it as some sort of relationship with God and a lot about family tradition. I'll be attending a pair of bit Catholic church weddings soon, both of which are for older cousins who are both marrying catholic people. Telling them I'm an atheist is out of the question (my parents know and are okay with that, but telling extended would cause more trouble than it's worth). Two of my mom's siblings are sort of mildly religious-believing folk, and my grandparents are pretty Catholic.

So here's my question. Given above information, should the whole communion problem arise, would it be best to go up and appease most people, or stay sitting and if anyone asks, tell them, in all seriousness, that my (atheistic catholic) boyfriend and I are in a state of mortal sin/havent been to confession? (Which of course means being unconfessed, and with that information that we shouldn't go up for communion?). Especially with the Grandparents, I'm not sure if they'd prefer that we play along and go up, or remain even truer to the religion and state why we're not.


Gah! Why does the entire bloody lot of 'em have to be catholic?!

Maverick

I take it that it is assumed that you are Catholic? That makes it more difficult. I always avoid the communion and the kneeling deal by simply saying I am not Catholic.

If they are using the one big glass for everyone you could claim an illness (don't want to spread a cold, etc.)

Otherwise think of it as a midservice snack. I have found that a snack might come in handy during those long boring Catholic weddings.

Maverick

Loki

I have always turned down the chalice cause of my squeamishness of sharing a cup with the entire damn community.

Yes, I am or was or something like that "catholic."

Midservice snack I don't suppose I should ask for about 20 of 'em though....

Non-praying Mantis

I can relate to that. One time, in church (when I was forced to go there with my parents on Xmas eve), I wasn't hungry, but I was really thirsty, so I had the little cup of grape juice.

NPM

Clarice

If you want to skirt the issue by being honest (but misleading), eat something right before the wedding starts. Remember, you can't take communion within an hour of eating. (I guess Jesus doesn't get along with donuts in your gut.) If anyone asks why you didn't go up, you can then honestly say you couldn't, without addressing the fact that you wouldn't have anyway.

chrislee

I can relate to that. I'm a lifelong atheist, and the Special Lady In My Life is Catholic.

Last September we went to a friend's (another Catholic) wedding - which was interesting: she is south Indian, as were the bride and groom. It was a mixture of Indian and Catholic tradition.

Weddings and funerals aren't like regular services. They realise that everybody isn't Catholic and make allowances. At this one the priest invited everybody to come down to communion saying that even if they weren't Catholic (the groom's family was Hindu even though he had converted as a teenager) it was participating in the spirit of the wedding. About half the people did and the rest didn't, and nobody seemed to mind.

I stood when everybody else did, and sat when they kneeled - even some of the older Catholics did, and with my knees I can understand why.

You two won't be the only non-Catholics there - the bride's and grooms friends, colleagues, team-mates etc will be there too, and to be honest, the people who count will just be glad you're there, and the priest will make allowances for the fact that non-Catholics are present. I usually sit at the back - although last September I sat with my Special friend and her niece.

The only group I know who don't make allowances are the fundamentalists.

topane

I may be wrong here (it's been a long time since I've been Catholic ), but I always thought that if you were in a state of sin (like haven't gone to confession in awhile or missed mass) you couldn't receive communion. If anyone asks just say you've sinned since your last confession .

Loki

My boyfriend and I are both technically Catholic. Yeah, I guess I'm just wondering if it's better to not go up and offer some excuse (I didn't think of the eating one; maybe I should bring a bag of cheerios or something or to go up and just do it in the name of family tradition.

muon

If you're feeling evil, take communion, then once it's in your mouth, clutch your throat and yell "It burns! It burns!"

so-crates

I've been in similiar situations. I would just sit down when everyone goes to Communion. There's always a few people doing this even at regular mass. One time this was not practial as the pews were failry narrow and I would be blocking people. So instead of staying where I was, I followed the rest of the congregation, and merely bowed gracefully when it was my turn. To me this was a sign of respect of their beliefs.

I was talking with a friend of the family who is a priest and he was suprised at my "respect for the Eucharist" after I told him about my lack of belief. Any orthodox Catholic will tell you have to be in the proper state of grace to receive Communion anyway. Except in the case of emergencies(sudden or imminent death, or the possibility of such) You not only have to be a fully fledged Catholic but you cannot be in the state of mortal sin.