beth

I do understand, thank you. I am just trying not to make a mistake. The more I look at the Bible, the more I now see a cruel God. A friend compared him to the god Moloch because of his cruelty. I am now reading Leaving the Fold I am having a hard time with it. But I am seeing how my Christianity may have been mind control. If it has, I have been scarred terribly by it. I am full of anxiety over this decision, though. My whole life will change. My identity has revolved around Christianity. I do not want to think that we are all alone in this universe. I do not want to think that there is no afterlife. This saddens me. I simply do not want to stop existing, but I do see this as better and more fair than eternal torment.

beth

Also, I am sorry if my screen name offends. I meant no harm by it. It has always been a joke for me. I am not a narcissist and I am sorry if it implies that. I cannot change it, I have tried.

GunnerJ

BG, your name is fine, and don't let anyone tell you different. If they can't see the obvious irony in using an overly-egotistical name like "blondegoddess" then they're humorless asholes who aren't worth the trouble of apologising to.

And hey, at least your name isn't as open to unfortunate misinterpretations as mine is.

Bill

Hi, blondegoddess!

Another excellent book to consider reading is Dan Barker's personal story, Losing Faith In Faith. Dan began as a Christian fundamentalist minister and now works for one of the better-known atheist orgainzations, the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Dan is also a sought after speaker and professionally debates against Christianity from his perspective as a former fundamentalist minister.

=====

Many Christians will try to deny the "cruel God" of the Old Testament. This became obvious after I posted my own article entitled Is God A Criminal? They will claim (on the one hand) that Jesus came to intercede with the "cruel God" and, so long as you hold your faith in Jesus, you have nothing to fear from that "cruel God" of the Old Testament. But they will claim, on the other hand, that Jesus is just an earthly-human manifestation of the "one true God." And, in that case, they can't escape the fact that the Old Testiment describes a horridly immoral and cruel God, as described by my article. You might want to read that for yourself, although it sure sounds to me like you've already grasped the concept.

=====

The idea of immortality is the "great carrot" that Christianity dangles in front of us all. But, of course, Christianity can't deliver on that promise unless they can prove that there is a supernatural entity who behaves in the way described in their holy book. Unfortunately, I just don't see how any of us could ever trust such a vengeful creature, even if the Christian God did exist (which it surely does not; examination of the historical record clearly discloses the invention of the Christ myths along the road from first century Judaism to modern Christianity).

But people do so want to live. In fact, only people who are clearly definable as "seriously ill" (mentally or physically) desire death more than life. But our group believes that pursuing scientific solutions to immortality is far more likely to yield up true immortality than is attempting to follow the greatly-mangled messages of a 2,000-year-dead teacher. In fact, it isn't even certain that Jesus himself even preached that immortality was a rational thing to seek. The earliest layers of written Christianity refer only to seeing Jesus in visions, not in a reincarnated reality. Well, I see my dead mother in dreams. But she is still dead. A "waking dream" (hallucination; vision; or whatever you choose to call it) is no different, really.

But we all do want to live forever, so long as we can also be healthy, wealthy, and wise.....

== Bill

Bill

Our old software (UBB) used to allow this sort of a change. It was one of the few features that our old software had that our new software lacks. Well, that's life, I guess.

Illegitimai non-carborundum! (Loosely translated, this means "don't let the bastards wear you down!")

If somebody takes offense at YOUR screen name, where have they been these past 2.5 years when we've had some really-offensive screen names on this board..... I think your screen name is fine!

== Bill

never been there

Hi BG:

Your story (so far) sounds very much like my partner's. She lost respect for her church, tried another which was only marginally better, and realised that the same was true of any other church.

She just lived apart from organised religion until she just didn't need it any more. Now she is happily shacked up with a lifelong infidel and has settled in nicely to a humanistic existence.

You will have to work out for yourself all of the answers that used to be given you: what is moral? what is life for? what do I do with myself all Sunday long? How can I get that attractive person into my bed? For a thinking person, it's a wonderful challenge. None of this prevents you from believing in what you think and feel to be true.

And to disagree with some people, Darwin is absolutely worth reading in the original. Like most Victorian writers, he's wordy, but in his case he's scared to death and being correspondingly meticulous. Knowing the basic arguments before starting really helps. James Burke's video series The Day the Universe Changed has one segment on Darwin which lays it out well - age of the earth, breeding of domestic animals, the finches, etc. Every argument you've ever heard against evolution is anticipated by Darwin and dealt with. And the closing paragraph is as moving as any passage of scripture could be, but it's TRUE!

beth

I am now filled with mixed emotions. I have always been open about my faith, even obnoxious. I am now ashamed of this. I am feeling guilt at having taught my children a myth as truth. They now believe in Christ. I cannot shatter them at such a young age and take this hope from them. But I hope that I haven't caused too much damage. I have only vaguely told them of hell. I have always tried to portray this faith as something possitive. I cannot take this from them. Almost all of my friends are Christian as well as my family. They will all feel betrayed by me. Especially when they once saw me as such a Godly woman. I need to learn more of evolution and science. I need to assertain if I can handle the idea of being alone in this universe with no divine aid.

seebs

I don't see what evolution and science have to do with that. Lots of religious people think evolution is a good theory.

Certainly wishing you the best of luck; trying to sort out what's true is hard.

beth

I was a creationist and thank you, Seebs.

HelenM

blondegoddess you did what you thought was best at the time; I hope you won't beat yourself up over that now you're not sure whether it really was best or not. You sound like someone who sets very high standards for herself. As a Christian you evidently put a lot of effort into pleasing God and being the best Christian you could be.

No offense, but maybe it's time for you to relax and start enjoying life...and your kids will be fine, I'm sure, especially if you teach them how to ask good questions and check out everything they are told carefully rather than assuming it's true.

take care
Helen