Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Queen of Swords · 07-12-2003, 09:16 AM

...to the hordes of would-be proselytizers whom my parents seem to draw like flies. Or maybe it's just me, since this must be the fundies' first chance to see someone who sloughed off any vestige of religious delusion and survived.

Anyway, what I'm going to say from now on is this : "Before you go any further with your story of how the Mighty Hand of God tuned your piano (I kid you not, this was what I heard today), I should let you know that personal testimony has no effect at all on me. If you want to convince me of the veracity of your particular religion, you need to show me evidence that 1. there is a god 2. this god is your particular god, as opposed to the god of the ten thousand other religions out there 3. this god is worthy of respect. Until you do all those, anything you say to me is a waste of your time and mine. If you want to waste your time, that's your choice, but I would prefer that you not waste mine."

The woman we had today narrated the story of the many miracles of her life with tears in her eyes and a Bozo-the-Clown grin on her face : it was a grotesque sight, especially considering that she used Jesus's name every five seconds or so. Apparently, by the grace of God, her daughter recovered from encephalitis. By the grace of God, the daughter was also left slightly mentally retarded. Wowie. Well, at least I now know why the daughter's a christian. And then there was the piano that didn't need tuning. So that was why children are starving to death in Third World countries - God is busy tuning this woman's piano. She went on and on in this vein, since she realized that she couldn't win a debate with me. Her arguments were as pitiful as they come, up to and including "The Spirit of God is in you, otherwise you wouldn't be asking all these questions." I replied with, "The spirit of Satan is in you, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned Satan five minutes ago."

Anyway, I was utterly bored, not to mention disgusted, and I want to head off any such future wastes of time with the warning beforehand. This will be especially relevant considering that there's a huge prayer meeting/dinner at my parents' house on Monday. I wonder who'll be the main course.

Enai · 07-12-2003, 10:46 AM

Oh my. What an awful experience, Queen of Swords! I wonder just what those people think they gain by annoying you. Do they believe you'd rather listen to acquaintances or strangers than your parents? Do you have any way of avoiding such encounters? I imagine your family isn't thrilled either, seeing how your parents surely have conversed with you ad nauseam about that subject. Also, it's usually boring to hear somebody proselytize.

Enai

faust · 07-12-2003, 10:53 AM

I'd like to come up with a better response to "the spirit of god is in you, ... questions" or as i usually get it, "you're seeking, as long as you keep seeking the way you are now, one day you'll accept jesus into your heart"

My current response is "I'm not rejecting jesus, he never asked me the choice. No god or christ has ever asked me whether or not i want him in any way. How can you answer a question that you haven't been asked?!" But they just don't understand.

I'm leaning towards, "You self-rightious, elitist, arrogant ass, maybe i'm really the prophet of Allah, sent to show you the True faith. Now stfu before you go smugly thinking i'm on a quest for jesus. I'd need a Holy Blowjob from the Virgin Mary before i lost my senses enough to reject reality in favor of a myth, and even then the blowjob would have to be supernaturally good. You have jesus inside you, ask him to explain the following 500 problems with xianity's morals, ethics, worldview, so-called science, inconsistancies, contradictions, and hypocrasy."

That may be a bit much though.

Autonemesis · 07-12-2003, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by faust
I'd like to come up with a better response to "the spirit of god is in you, ... questions"

"Hail Santa!"

Ronin · 07-13-2003, 02:14 AM

A slight contortion from my old zen days:

"Words are like the finger pointing at the moon. So, do not look at the moon, look at this finger." <cue gesture>

Jutsuka · 07-13-2003, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ronin
A slight contortion from my old zen days:

"Words are like the finger pointing at the moon. So, do not look at the moon, look at this finger." <cue gesture>

ROTFLMAO! How very Zen!

Undercurrent · 07-13-2003, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by QueenofSwords
...to the hordes of would-be proselytizers whom my parents seem to draw like flies.

Your parents draw flies? How horrible! Pencil, pastel, or charcoal?

Quote:

"Before you go any further with your story of how the Mighty Hand of God tuned your piano [...] I should let you know that personal testimony has no effect at all on me. If you want to convince me of the veracity of your particular religion, you need to show me evidence that 1. there is a god 2. this god is your particular god, as opposed to the god of the ten thousand other religions out there 3. this god is worthy of respect. Until you do all those, anything you say to me is a waste of your time and mine. If you want to waste your time, that's your choice, but I would prefer that you not waste mine."

I would have this printed on cards you can just hand out and walk away while they're reading. Maybe on the other side have printed "Fuck off, dipshit" in a larger font, but be sure to hand them out so they see and read the longer "distraction" text first.

Shake · 07-13-2003, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undercurrent
I would have this printed on cards you can just hand out and walk away while they're reading. Maybe on the other side have printed "Fuck off, dipshit" in a larger font, but be sure to hand them out so they see and read the longer "distraction" text first.

Yeah, if they finish reading the first side, and are all

then just say, "In other words ..." and flip it over! I don't think they'll miss the point of that!

catmar · 07-13-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ronin
A slight contortion from my old zen days:

"Words are like the finger pointing at the moon. So, do not look at the moon, look at this finger." <cue gesture>

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Godless Dave · 07-13-2003, 01:44 PM

07-12-2003, 09:16 AM	#1
Queen of Swords Contributor Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Canada. Finally. Posts: 10,155	What I'll say from now on... ...to the hordes of would-be proselytizers whom my parents seem to draw like flies. Or maybe it's just me, since this must be the fundies' first chance to see someone who sloughed off any vestige of religious delusion and survived. Anyway, what I'm going to say from now on is this : "Before you go any further with your story of how the Mighty Hand of God tuned your piano (I kid you not, this was what I heard today), I should let you know that personal testimony has no effect at all on me. If you want to convince me of the veracity of your particular religion, you need to show me evidence that 1. there is a god 2. this god is your particular god, as opposed to the god of the ten thousand other religions out there 3. this god is worthy of respect. Until you do all those, anything you say to me is a waste of your time and mine. If you want to waste your time, that's your choice, but I would prefer that you not waste mine." The woman we had today narrated the story of the many miracles of her life with tears in her eyes and a Bozo-the-Clown grin on her face : it was a grotesque sight, especially considering that she used Jesus's name every five seconds or so. Apparently, by the grace of God, her daughter recovered from encephalitis. By the grace of God, the daughter was also left slightly mentally retarded. Wowie. Well, at least I now know why the daughter's a christian. And then there was the piano that didn't need tuning. So that was why children are starving to death in Third World countries - God is busy tuning this woman's piano. She went on and on in this vein, since she realized that she couldn't win a debate with me. Her arguments were as pitiful as they come, up to and including "The Spirit of God is in you, otherwise you wouldn't be asking all these questions." I replied with, "The spirit of Satan is in you, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned Satan five minutes ago." Anyway, I was utterly bored, not to mention disgusted, and I want to head off any such future wastes of time with the warning beforehand. This will be especially relevant considering that there's a huge prayer meeting/dinner at my parents' house on Monday. I wonder who'll be the main course.

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07-12-2003, 10:46 AM	#2
Enai Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Germany Posts: 1,479	Oh my. What an awful experience, Queen of Swords! I wonder just what those people think they gain by annoying you. Do they believe you'd rather listen to acquaintances or strangers than your parents? Do you have any way of avoiding such encounters? I imagine your family isn't thrilled either, seeing how your parents surely have conversed with you ad nauseam about that subject. Also, it's usually boring to hear somebody proselytize. Enai

07-12-2003, 10:53 AM	#3
faust Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: baton rouge, la Posts: 539	I'd like to come up with a better response to "the spirit of god is in you, ... questions" or as i usually get it, "you're seeking, as long as you keep seeking the way you are now, one day you'll accept jesus into your heart" My current response is "I'm not rejecting jesus, he never asked me the choice. No god or christ has ever asked me whether or not i want him in any way. How can you answer a question that you haven't been asked?!" But they just don't understand. I'm leaning towards, "You self-rightious, elitist, arrogant ass, maybe i'm really the prophet of Allah, sent to show you the True faith. Now stfu before you go smugly thinking i'm on a quest for jesus. I'd need a Holy Blowjob from the Virgin Mary before i lost my senses enough to reject reality in favor of a myth, and even then the blowjob would have to be supernaturally good. You have jesus inside you, ask him to explain the following 500 problems with xianity's morals, ethics, worldview, so-called science, inconsistancies, contradictions, and hypocrasy." That may be a bit much though.

07-13-2003, 02:14 AM	#5
Ronin Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Mississippi Posts: 5,047	A slight contortion from my old zen days: "Words are like the finger pointing at the moon. So, do not look at the moon, look at this finger." <cue gesture>

07-13-2003, 01:44 PM	#10
Godless Dave Contributor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: With 10,000 lakes who needs a coast? Posts: 10,762

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