Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Linda · 02-19-2003, 07:04 PM

Okay, perhaps my warning was too subtle. This thread needs to get back on topic or it will be closed.

Linda, Moderator of Miscellaneous Discussions.

Oxidizing Material · 02-19-2003, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by UglyManOnCampus
That protocol is quite stupid and in fact really sexist. You should unlearn it.

Monkeybot: your philosophy would be perfect if you at the same time offered to pay for the dates with a man you really liked, not just vice versa.

UMoC

There is nothing stupid or sexist about it. I've never had a woman complain that I was being too nice to her, nor have I ever regretted any form of politeness.

Derec · 02-19-2003, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lunachick
I thought that was pretty much what she said.

Well maybe, that's why I posted that; for clarification.

UMoC

Derec · 02-19-2003, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oxidizing Material
There is nothing stupid or sexist about it. I've never had a woman complain that I was being too nice to her, nor have I ever regretted any form of politeness.

The thing that is stupid about that that men are expected to pay for dates, expensive gifts, open doors... Things that made sense a century ago but are antiquated. The thing that is sexist about that is that only men are expected to assume those roles, women are not (or do you expect your dates to wash you laundry on the first or second date). They get to enjoy the best of both worlds, we the worst of both worlds. If fewer men did that women would no longer expect it.

There is nothing wrong with politeness or courtesy but it should go both ways, not be expected of one party only.

UMoC

Edited to add: please continue this dsicussion in the new thread "Dating Etiquette" opened by elenah.

AquaVita · 02-19-2003, 07:14 PM

Please guys, let's do what Linda says and stay focused. I'm really interested reading this so far, and I'd hate for other people to lose out and not be able to respond in case it's deleted.

Edit to add: The direction in which the conversation is going is quite interesting...perhaps we could start a new thread on gender roles so as not to further derail this one?

Strawberry · 02-20-2003, 12:30 AM

There's no option on the poll for me, AquaVita (although I don't expect many others will fall into my category...).

The nature of several sexual encounters is such that I don't know if I'm a virgin or not. Yes, I was sober; y'all can puzzle over that one if you like. I'm 19 (going on 20, in April).

Claudia · 02-20-2003, 03:24 AM

I was 19, married him 6 1/2 years later, and we are still married 25 years after our first time. I do not regret it, but I do not think I would have regret to do it with my previous boy friend.

Captain Pedantic · 02-20-2003, 06:36 AM

I'm a virgin, and I'll be 21 in May.

It's not really such a big deal, since I've never met anyone with whom there has been a mutual attraction.

Also, off topic, it is polite (in my view) to hold doors open for people no matter who they may be. I do it, and I'm a woman.

And paying for dinner should be mainly the responsibility of whoever has the most money. This is common sense. Or, it should be the responsibility of the person who is "treating" the other - if, for example, you take someone out for their birthday, you pay.

Or, you both contribute to the cost. Whatever you're most comfortable with.

Non-praying Mantis · 02-20-2003, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Non-praying Mantis
You may want him to buy you dinner first, however.

I'm sorry, I didn't know my comment would throw this thread off topic!

All I wanted to say is that Chicken Girl and Silent Dave should get together and do the wild thing!

Hmmm...Spring break is coming up soon...

NPM

Arvel Joffi · 02-20-2003, 09:15 AM

I was 19. I had the chance when I was 17 but I blew it. I was such a geek that, not only was it difficult to find a girl that was interested in me, I was too shy to handle it when one was. She was blunt, too! She was going to nail me, but I freaked out.

Dammit! She was cute!

View Poll Results: How old were you?
13-14	10	4.88%
14-16	30	14.63%
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18+	85	41.46%
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Voters: 205. You may not vote on this poll

02-20-2003, 06:36 AM	#118
Captain Pedantic Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: UK. Posts: 588	SO LONELY... I'm a virgin, and I'll be 21 in May. It's not really such a big deal, since I've never met anyone with whom there has been a mutual attraction. Also, off topic, it is polite (in my view) to hold doors open for people no matter who they may be. I do it, and I'm a woman. And paying for dinner should be mainly the responsibility of whoever has the most money. This is common sense. Or, it should be the responsibility of the person who is "treating" the other - if, for example, you take someone out for their birthday, you pay. Or, you both contribute to the cost. Whatever you're most comfortable with.

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02-19-2003, 07:04 PM	#111
Linda Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Indiana Posts: 932	Okay, perhaps my warning was too subtle. This thread needs to get back on topic or it will be closed. Linda, Moderator of Miscellaneous Discussions.

02-19-2003, 07:14 PM	#115
AquaVita Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Dallas Posts: 4,351	Please guys, let's do what Linda says and stay focused. I'm really interested reading this so far, and I'd hate for other people to lose out and not be able to respond in case it's deleted. Edit to add: The direction in which the conversation is going is quite interesting...perhaps we could start a new thread on gender roles so as not to further derail this one?

02-20-2003, 12:30 AM	#116
Strawberry Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lancaster, PA/Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 627	There's no option on the poll for me, AquaVita (although I don't expect many others will fall into my category...). The nature of several sexual encounters is such that I don't know if I'm a virgin or not. Yes, I was sober; y'all can puzzle over that one if you like. I'm 19 (going on 20, in April).

02-20-2003, 03:24 AM	#117
Claudia Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: France Posts: 715	I was 19, married him 6 1/2 years later, and we are still married 25 years after our first time. I do not regret it, but I do not think I would have regret to do it with my previous boy friend.

02-20-2003, 09:15 AM	#120
Arvel Joffi Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 3,359	I was 19. I had the chance when I was 17 but I blew it. I was such a geek that, not only was it difficult to find a girl that was interested in me, I was too shy to handle it when one was. She was blunt, too! She was going to nail me, but I freaked out. Dammit! She was cute!

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