Ab_Normal

My office-mates are going to wonder what I'm laughing about. Fortunately, I read your post between swigs of coffee, so my keyboard escaped unscathed. :notworthy :notworthy

Stephen Maturin

Yeehaw and hot diggity damn! The Eleventh apparently isn't much for screwing off. I wouldn't mind attending that one in person, if for no other reason than to see how many D. Jimmy Kennedy-affiliated protestors show up.

hezekiah jones

Ab-Normal you work in a law office?

Ab_Normal

Nope, my only exposure to the law was a class on the fourth, fifth, and sixth amendments I took in college as part of my major (criminal justice). I have been an "interested amateur" ever since. "De fuckyouIsaidso" just tickled my fancy.

Stephen Maturin

Yeah, that term has some serious potential, doesn't it? I can see it all now:

IN THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES

-----------------

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, Petitioner

v.

MICHAEL NEWDOW, Respondent

Certiorari to the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit

Theodore "Steady Teddy" Olson, Washington, D.C., for petitioner.

Michael Newdow, somewhere in that hippified California thingy, pro se.

-----------------

Chief Justice REHNQUIST delivered the opinion of the court.

We are called upon to review a judgment in which the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit held that policies and practices of the Elk Grove, California Unified School District ("District") involving teacher-led recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, including the words "under God" as added to the Pledge by Act of Congress in 1954, violate the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. As the issue before us is of no less import than appoi . . . er, electing a president, and because the court of appeals' judgment really, really pisses us off, we review this matter de fuckyouIsaidso.

The First Amendment reads, in pertinent part, as follows: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion * * *." It is painfully obvious that the quoted language does nothing more than prohibit the establishment of a national church that all citizens must join.* Why? What do you mean, "Why?" What part of "fuck you, I said so" do you not understand?

The petition for certiorari is GRANTED. The judgment of the court of appeals is REVERSED and this cause is REMANDED to the trial court with instructions to order that all District students begin each school day by pledging their allegiance to God - you know, the True One - along with the United States, both Presidents Bush, all future Presidents Bush, Attorney General Ashcroft, Karl Rove, the Project for the New American Century, and other various and sundry needle-dicked neoconservatives.

* We harbor grave doubts that the constitutional prohibition goes even that far. A compulsory-membership United States Church of Baby Jebus and God Blessicate America sounds awfully good from where we sit. However, that issue is not before us and so we do not address it. But you get the idea, don't you, Congress? *nudge nudge, wink wink, say n'more*

-----------------

Justice SCALIA, whom Justice THOMAS joins as to Part II, concurring.

I concur fully in the judgment and majority opinion. I write separately to address two additional points.

I.

Some have opined that I should recuse myself because of public comments I made on the merits of this case back in January. Blow me. Not happening.

II.

Booya. In your face, separationists.

---------------------

Justice STEVENS, whom Justice GINSBURG joins, dissenting.

You know what? Fuck this noise. I quit.

hezekiah jones

ROFL!

Priceless.

Philosoft

:notworthy

Stephen Maturin, stand-up lawyer, will be here all week, folks.