Loren Pechtel

Agreed.

id.s

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Eventually everyone tires of casual sex and longs for something real in there life. Whether they get it or not becomes a point of conjecture and speculation, as finding someone who completes you usually requires mutual sacrifice and understanding. If you're not willing to give a little, your taking becomes an empty selfish obsession. Turns out sex is a weapon in a relationship- a tool to manipulate- usually employed to the betterment of the financial aspect of relationships, the #1 reason for a bond between people. There are times when you just need to be reassured that the world may be a big lonely place, but the two of you together, in spirit and in mind, will persevere through the hard times as well as the good times.
Remember, when the wolfs' at the door, love flies out the window.

Friar Bellows

The phrase "finding someone who completes you" bothers me. Firstly, if you can't be you without someone else to lean on and prop you up, then you have a lot of growing up to do. Secondly, in one sense, no person should ever be complete ... hopefully they're learning new things and expanding their minds all the time, no matter how old they are.

But why should casual sex be seen as merely taking? Like most interactions between people it can involve giving and taking.

Pfft! Almost everything can be used as a weapon. Sex can also be a playful and enjoyable activity.

I don't know what this hypothetical person's other 23.5 hours are like so I wouldn't be arrogant enough to judge it. So what if he has sex with someone on a casual basis? It's entirely possible that *shock horror* he and his partner find it mutually enjoyable. Better that than the rampant physical and emotional abuse that goes on in some relationships.

cheetah

But, is casual sex really a relationship? Th epost seems to be asking if sex is the end all and be all of a relationship. I don't know of any relationship that can be based exclusively on sex.

Luiseach

The phrase doesn't bother me too much...although I would modify it a bit for clarity: a really great relationship is built on trust, thereby allowing each person involved to express more of him/herself, and hence become more actualised as a person...

...perhaps this is what is meant by 'finding someone who completes you'...

Luiseach

Goodness...I don't agree with this view of human relations at all.

Felicia

:banghead: <this is what my husband feels like sometimes I'm sure. However...after 14 yrs. of marriage he admits it's really not that bad only 1 or 2 x a week. and after 14 yrs.; 3 kids, 2 full time jobs, mortgage...etc.....We feel priveleged that we found a "life partner" to go through this (sometimes) hell with

mikester

although ive never been in a real relationship, or had sex for that matter, i beleive (in my own idealistic naivety) that sex isnt the be-all-end-all of a relationship.

it matters a lot, because to me it kind of symbolizes what level you care for the other person, how far you are willing to express those feelings, and how comfortable you are with that person.

to me, its more of a doorway to the next level.




wow, i sound so corny.

Secular Elation

I have never been in a relationship, but from what I am able to determine as a consequence of perceiving the relationships of others, it appears that there are many more important variables in a relationship other than sex.

Sex is certainly an integral component of a serious relationship. Of course, it is not the primary adhesive. Companionship, love, caring, and many more, comprise the full nature of a relationship. At the least, I would certainly hope that sex is not the end-all, tell-all of a legitimate relationship.

I have little grounds to comment on the subject, since I possess no experience on the matter. If I ever find myself in a relatioship, it will be my responsibility to encourage a healthy, functional relationship that operates off of several aspects--not merely sex.

Ab_Normal

My husband and I have a serious libido mismatch, but we've worked it out over the past fifteen years. It could have been the end of our marriage if sex was the only thing we liked about each other. Fortunately, we were friends before we were romantically involved, and that gave us something to "fall back on".