kwigibo

I love Al Jolson!

ju'iblex

damn straight. but we're forgetting both Michael Bolton and Kenny G.

lisarea

Ook. I have some Philip Glass albums. They're on vinyl, but I could dig em out.

Oh, and Harry Partch, too.

If you dislike Philip Glass, you'll hate Harry Partch. He puts things like pencil erasers in his piano to make it sound bad, and he doesn't so much sing as sort of croak and yell stuff.

Daniel Johnston! I also forgot Daniel Johnston! Schizophrenic guy who does these disturbingly childlike songs about Casper the Friendly Ghost, King Kong, Captain America, and Satan. Can't sing a whit. He sounds like he's twelve, although he's in his 40s now. And I can barely identify what sort of instruments he's playing, but I sure like that.

So, I guess I really do suck. Am I really the only person who listens to stuff everyone else hates? There has to be someone else out there. They're not just pressing these CDs for me and their moms. Are they?

LordMoneyG

2 songs IMMEDIATELY came to mind -

- That goddamn "If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain" song
- "Afternoon Delight," Starland Vocal Band

ARGH.

August Spies

you guys need to listen to the bands I posted and then tell me Pina Colda would make people leave quicker.

LordMoneyG

You know what? I don't think I want to.

LordMoneyG

Ah, here we are! Found just what I was looking for -

"Top Ten Party-Killing Songs," according to Wayne and Garth

10. "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris
9. "Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (Not so much in the south, though)
8. "Hotel California" ("No, realy, it's a great party, I'm just going for a walk.")
7. "More Than Words" by Extreme
6. "Color My World"
5. "Lovin' You" (with that dog whistle of a high note)
4. "Billy Don't Be a Hero"
3. "From a Distance" by Bette Midler
2. Anything by Toto
1. Any Disco Tune

Shadownought

"Push Them Little Daisies" by Ween. It hurts! The music is just him banging incompetently on a guitar, and his singing hurts my ears. AAAAAAAGH!

"Doot da-doo, doot doooo, a-doot-doot-doot-doot-DOO!!!"

EDIT:
Another one: "Havin' a Roni" by Vanilla Ice. What the hell is this?

Mediancat

-- I can't believe I'm admitting this, but the original name of the song was "Escape." But since eevryone started calling it the Pina Colada song, the record company subtitled it exactly that.

It's just like with "Oh, What a Night" -- original title "December '63" -- and Sheryl Crow's "A Change Would Do You Good" -- original title simply "A Change."

Incidentally, I've got Phil Collins' "You Can't Hurry Love" clearing a packed room of dancers in about fifteen seconds. Unless you can top that, I think I'm claiming the speed record --

Rob aka Mediancat

THE_LEGENDARY_HQB

Originally posted by August Spies:
"The Locust
Daughters
Pig Destroyer
Arab on Radar (cause they suck)
Discordinance Axis."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've seen Arab on Radar 3 times! There are few other bands out there that manage to make a noiserock/punk fusion work, and they're one of them.

As someone who is heavily involved in the Eastern Mass. Electronic D.I.Y Underground, allow me to submit my own choices for room clearers.

1. Emil Beaulieu {America's Greatest Living Noise Artist}
He has a record player with 3 arms, wich he uses on severely warped, distorted, and scratched Whitney Houston records.
Watching the reactions of random fratboys in the room is worth the price of admission.

2. Turpentine Consumption. My friend Jay has actually made it his goal to piss of as many different people as he can. To this end, he plays horrific preprogrammed lounge style songs while crooning about android love, to piss of the noise fans, then, when they've left, goes into a wall of sound extravaganza featuring looped screams, distortion pedals, and contact mics placed on scrap metal.

3. Journey to the Center of the Colon. My personal project. Features beatbox and vocal loops done on a 14 second delay pedal. Not exactly a room clearer per se, but it certainly gets some attention when folks hear you using your elbows to create an arm fart version of "Iron Man".

As for corporate music:

1. Blink 182. {How the fuck are they legally allowed to use the word punk as a description of their audial fecal matter}?

2. M.C Hammer. Yes, even in 2003, there are still snapperhead D.J's who think they can score nostalgia points by playing 2 Legit 2 Quit. Sufficed to say, they don't.

Just my 1 Krona {Icelandic}worth.
Stay gold,
The Legendary HQB, Esq.
47th Viscount of Tewksbury.