Bookman

I wouldn't take a child that age to the theatre, but that's more about parenting than protocol.

We have taken our kids to the theatre twice (they are age 3 and 4 1/2 currently). Once for Lilo and Stitch at which they were both perfect angels, and once for Piglet's Big Movie at which the older one (who was tired...bad Dad!) got scared of the bees and cried a little.

We're anticipating Finding Nemo and have had a couple of practice runs at the house, setting up the living room with our chairs in a row where the coffee table usually is, and sitting through a whole DVD without talking or getting up. At least I know that my expectations about appropriate movie behavior have been communicated and understood.

This is really good advice. K and I do this a little more often than once in a while: each of us has a night each week available to us, but we don't always avail ourselves of it.

Bookman

Trecker

Good old commercial ear protectors, such as what one might wear when operating machinery, are good for toddlers but can,t work for infants.

brighid

Although my son is older, I avail myself of this about once a month. If I want to go out more my husband has no problem staying at home. The same goes if he needs a night out as well. I personally feel it really helps our marriage. Sometimes you just need some alone time, especially as a parent. It's not that you don't love your child or SO, but sometimes you just need to be alone ... or out with girls/guys.

It's definately easier as children get older. Our son is at a perfect age because he wants to spend lots of time sleeping over with friends. We get at least one night a month to ourselves, without babysitting fees. That freedom is one of the things I will miss most when we do decide to have, or adopt a baby.

Brighid

Godless Dave

Some friends of mine (currently only one of my friend couples has offspring but that will change soon) brought their then year-old baby to the IMAX at the Minnesota Science Museum. They had taken her through the museum first so she was worn out, and the movie was at nap-time. She slept through the whole thing, but her parents sat on the aisle right by the exit just in case. They told me if they'd known how quiet and easily managed she was going to be in her first 8 months they would have gone out more. She's 2 now, walking and talking, so that's all over.

On the other hand, whatever movie you're wanting to see now will be on video in a few months.

Slightly OT, I really like Brighid's trade-off idea. If both parents are there why can't they take turns? My friend would like to do this but his wife only lets him leave the house on Sunday nights and only after their daughter is asleep. He continually offers to take care of her so his wife can go out but as he says "She never wants to go anywhere."

brighid

That's too bad! It is really hard leaving your baby at first. It's agonizing, especially for first time parents. Eventually I think most parents get over that and realize they aren't being bad parents or spouses because they want, or need some time away from home.

If my husband wants to catch a game of basketball with some work buddies, or stay downtown for an after-work party ... no big deal. He comes home at a reasonable time and I don't worry about him. I usually hook up with a group of ladies to just hang out and talk girl talk, catch dinner and drinks with a few friends, or maybe tell him I need a spa day with a girlfriend and that's it. He's so good about those things. One night we were to meet a friend coming in from San Francisco, but was in the middle of the week and would mean we would get home pretty late(school night and our son needs to do homework, get to bed at a good time, etc.) So he offered to stay home, take care of our son and dogs and told me just to have a fun, girls night out and not worry about rushing to get home.

It's just nice knowing we can spend time apart without guilt trips, pressure, or insecure feelings. We enjoy our time together much more! I feel badly for those couples who aren't "allowed" to do normal activities. I think he pulled the "you will do this" crap ONCE! He will never again make that mistake. I am his wife, not his subordinate (and vice versa)


Brighid

eldar1011

Thank you one and all for the replies.

I've decided to not bring my daughter to the movies just yet. Of course, I would have sat towards the rear exit and would leave if she started crying. But, all things considered, it would probably be best to wait for DVD rental or take "solo" outings.

I've also decided to watch TV at home with the volume set up to "11". This will train my daughter to get used to high-volume settings at the movie theater.

The solo outings are a good idea and my wife and I did discuss it. Although, given such an opportunity I'd probably skip "Finding Nemo" and go watch "X-Men 2".

Ab_Normal

To wander off topic a bit, I guess the only benefit of having a colicky baby was that she had her first overnight at a friend's house when she was four weeks old. One of my husband's co-workers, who was an experienced parent, offered to take her on a Friday night, and we accepted with alacrity. Ah, sweet sweet sleep...

It is from that perspective that I say this: Godless Dave, your friend's wife is weird.

Godless Dave

She is very insecure. She only has a few friends of her own and all of them have babies too. For some reason she doesn't seem to want to just get out and do things. Being a mom seems (to me) to be very stressful for her. I don't know if she doesn't like to be alone with the baby because of that or if it's a way of controlling her husband. Even before the baby she seemed to resent the time he spent with his friends, I think because of that insecurity.

I don't think it ever occurred to her not to have children. Not that there's anything wrong with having kids, but I don't think she ever examined her feelings about it. She just accepted the social assumption. She was baffled by our other married friends who don't want children at all.

brighid

I was going to say that she isn't as wierd as she appears to be insecure. I honestly couldn't handle that. It would go nuts and eventually end the relationship, kid or no kid. Marriage is a partnership, not a power trip.

Brighid

Godless Dave

When they announced their engagement I was this close || to telling my friend marrying her would be a bad idea. Ultimately I kept my mouth shut - I don't like being told what to do, even when I am making a mistake, so I try not to butt into my friends' lives. But I still wonder if I should have said something.

They have another baby due in September.