Loki

Hey all! *waves*

It's been probably a month or longer since my last post here; a lot's changed. The private fora no longer exist, there are new mods around, the fora names have changed.

I'm through with 2 years of undergrad school; so scary that college's half over already. I don't think I'm ready for it. And I'm out of the dorms (MoJo, o' how I love thee) and into apartment life, which is a large part of the reason for my delay in posting. It took us a little while to get the internet up and running, and even beyond that, I've been busy working and eating and cooking and sleeping and playing The Sims.

Which leads me to the second part of my thread title:

Apartment life. I'm living with my boyfriend (gasp!) and another mutual friend at the moment; our subletter decided he couldn't handle and returned home (but that's another story), and the fourth person is currently out of the country, so it's just the three of us rattling around in the apartment. We were doing communal meals, but my mostly veggie habits couldn't conform to the other two carnivores, and after about 2 weeks, I seriously burnt out on meat. So I'm cooking on my own from now on, which is fine; I can eat weird hashes and beans and all that jazz.

So.... what advice do you have for those people finally leaving the nest? (I don't consider dorm life really free of parents). What should we watch out for (besides the obvious "What if you and your boyfriend break up?), do, not do, cook, whatever? Any suggestions? I turn to the wizened people of II for advice on anything related to living on one's own?

Mech Bliss

Hey, fellow Ann Arborite!

I just graduated, technically, and I lived in an apt. for the last three years, but unfortunately I really don't have any constructive advice except the obvious. Pay your bills/rent on time. It sounds obvious, but the first of the month is often overshadowed especially during the school year when you get carried away with studying and work. It's just difficult trusting other roommates to do it for you also...I had that problem with my roommate neglecting the bills in his name my first year out of the dorms and I didn't even realize it until things started happening like the cable getting shut off. The other is not to let those unspoken problems fester because it only makes it more difficult to get along with your roommates. Honest communication tends to make it go more smoothly. Make sure the cleaning responsibilities are divided evenly and that they actually get done. That's often a source of petty arguments between roommates. It really isn't a difficult transition, imo, so there's really no advice that's suitable. All I can say is that you'll definitely value the independence and privacy you gain by moving off campus, and from my experience, because I was looking forward to those aspects of apt. life, it didn't seem like a difficult transition to me. I know I didn't really contribute anything beyond the obvious, but I felt compelled to just say "hey" to someone else living around here.

And as for MoJo...at least it wasn't Markley!

NialScorva

Make sure that *everyone* immediately cleans any mess. If you let mess get a toe hold, then it's hard to get rid of it and a lot of bitter feelings can develop over the "it's someone else's mess" factor.

With all the roommates I've had, food hasn't been a large issue. We had a group of things such as condiments and milk that were considered "commodities" and open to public consumption, while everything else was private (which really just meant "tell me before you use it"). Any leftovers or prepared food had a 48 hour time limit in the fridge. If it wasn't gone by then it was fair game for anyone who wanted it.

Other than that, it's all about communication, as MB said. Get any conflicts out in the open as soon as they appear so they don't fester.

wildernesse

Don't borrow things that aren't yours without permission, especially if those things are in people's private stash. Follow up on your committents (if it's your turn to clean the toilet, do it).

If you have rules, you must obey them--that's all. If you don't have rules, don't get mad! (So best to make rules.)

--tibac

Loki

Cool, thanks for the advice.

Yeah, I'm learning about the cleaning pretty quickly; I tend to do most of the housework it seems, which is a bit frustrating to come back and see one playing computer games, the other just lounging on the couch, and a sink of dirty dishes or something. So I think we might have to have a chat about things like that.

MoJo wasn't bad; I rather enjoyed it, actually. It was quiet enough to study, and had lounges and was a decent distance from campus.

Funny, I work at the Housing Info office, and people keep calling in seeing if they can get switched to Markley. Why?!

Loki

Oh, and welcome to the boards, Mech Bliss.

You didn't attend any of the Atheist meetings that either group put on, did you? They're worth going to, imo, cause we often go out for sushi afterwards. And I've been pretty active in getting them around and running.

I don't think there are too many A^2 ers on the boards, though. Schade.

Are you running off to grad school next fall?

ohwilleke

As a former Ann Arbor tenant, a few pointers.

1. Join the Ann Arbor tenant's union. It is cheap and provides invaluable support.

2. If you hear scratching sounds in the roof and then wake up in the middle of the night seeing a creature and scream your lungs off the way my now wife did, its probably a harmless squirrel.

3. The ice cream store next to Grazi is good, go there from time to time.

4. If you have electric heat, it is phenomonally expensive in the winter. Dress warmly and keep your thermostat as low as possible.

5. When my wife and I started living together we established a joint bank account for day to day living. It reduced the room for discussions over finances a great deal and was a bonding thing, but the amount of money was sufficiently small that it wasn't really that big a deal.

6. Reaching an understanding over who handles which chores is important.

7. If you smell smoke from anything other than your own cooking, leave the building immediately. It may be on fire. (My apartment had a fire).

8. Don't forget that the parking at the U of M stadium doesn't include home football game days (I found this out the hard way).

9. Save your lease in a good place, along with every piece of paper that comes your way from your landlord. Make complaints to your landlord in writing after photocopying them first.

10. Subscribe to the Detroit Free Press. The coupons alone are worth it, even if you never read it.

11. Consider a library carrel if you can't find enough quiet in your apartment. The big computer lab is also a very intense place to work even though it is big and open.

12. If finances are tough two of the cheapest meals you can make are rice, butter and (filched packets of) soy sauce, on one hand, and Ramen, on the other.

13. Get a credit card if you don't have one already, but pay it off in full every month if there is any way that you can, and always make the minimum payment. This builds credit. Also, 1.5% per months is incredibly cheap compared to payday loans, if you must carry a balance.

14. Roommates prefer that you be discrete about your sexual activity, even if they don't say so.

15. Small grocery stores are expensive, it pays to take the bus or drive to a bigger one farther from campus.

16. Phone bills are often a major shared expense item. During long distance relationship moments we were spending $100 a month or more. Agree on a way to share the bill early (e.g. you guys pay everything except for $10 a month plus your roommates long distance calls).

17. Recognize that no matter how hard you try, you may not get all of your security deposit back. Expecting it all back and fighting hard over it is more brain damage than it is worth.

18. Figure out the rules on trash collection early.

19. Go camping, at least once.

20. Do not go to Canada, even though it is close, if either of you is not a U.S. citizen. A U of M student was stranded in Canada and not permitted to re-enter for many months when she disclosed that she was engaged to her boyfriend, causing her student visa to expire automatically and leaving her without a valid visa.

Mech Bliss

Things must have been pretty bad for them...

No...actually I wasn't too aware that anything like that existed. Then again, I didn't always pay too much attention to the flyers on campus because they were either for terrible bands or theistic groups. I wish I had known that though...

That was originally my plan, but I think I overshot in my applications (although my advisor said I should have had no problem at all getting in where I applied). In the meantime I'm going to stay in AA probably through the fall ('cause fall in AA is always so great, imo) and then re-apply or else go to the school of ed.

It's great to see someone else from here online here...I don't know anyone else who is. It's a small internet, I guess...and we probably have the same problems with comast. Take it easy!

Mech Bliss

Not anymore...

Loki

The AATU is no longer.

Ice cream shop next to Gratzi; is that La Dolci Vita? I haven't been there, but I had a piece of their chocolate mousse torte during the Tastes of Ann Arbor thing.

There was a squirrel in your house? I think I'd scream my lungs out, too.

I tried the Canada thing. 1. Got the most drunk that I've ever been (five drinks in 1.5 hours for someone 5' and 115 lbs is not a good idea). 2. The board guard was a prick and harassed me, but not any of the other 4 girls in the car, because I wasn't born in the states. No, i was adopted from Korea when I was 3 fu*king months old.

Any campground recommendations? My boyfriend and I are actually planning a camping excursion for a few weeks from now. We're looking at either the western side, or up by the bay area.

If you're around next year, Mech, keep an eye out for an atheist group, which may be renamed from the Atheistic & Agnostic Student Association to something else (conflict in acronyms with the Arab American Student Association). We'll most likely be talking about somehting vaguely related to atheism.