Jamie_L

Well, my wife has these horrible memories of discovering Santa wasn't real and that her mother had been lying to her all that time. So, although she's neither particularly skeptical or an atheist, we will not be duping our kids into Santa belief (they're only 2 and 1 now). I agree with her on this.

We don't plan to have no talk of Santa. We'll probably talk about him and tell Santa stories, just like we talk about Clifford or Winnie the Pooh or Dragon Tales. But we won't take steps to try and create a belief in something that isn't real, and if our kids ever ask "is Santa real?", we'll say "No." If our kids ask where the presents come from, we'll tell them we bought the presents.

Personally, I would feel a little weird lying to my kids about Santa. That's just me, and not a judgement on others, of course.

Jamie

Amos

Jamie_L, the reaction of your wife is normal and I like it. It is a foreshadow of faith seeking understanding and that is what St. Nicholas is all about and, as would follow, that is what Catholicism is all about. What happens on Dec.6 for children will someday happen on Jan.6 for adults.

St. Nicholas, not santa, was a mythic character and may have never existed but the arrival of his coming is awaited with increased tension each year by children until they mature and seek to find the truth behind the story.

Children will go through a period of denial first, then sincere questioning and finally the acceptance that the story is not real while yet the message remains imprinted in their mind because it foreshadows the truth revealed at Epiphany.

The initial "anger" reaction is also normal at Epiphany which is why Luther went bonkers and in your case I hope your wife got over her anger.

[ October 08, 2002: Message edited by: Amos ]</p>

Starboy

There is no Santa? <img src="confused.gif" border="0">

K

frostymama:

That story is hilarious. It sounds like there may be a lot of challenges on the parenting side, but it also sounds like you have an extremely bright child.

Jamie_L

Amos,

You assessment of my wife's reaction is interesting. However, my view of it has always been simpler. Apparently, before my wife discovered for real that the Santa routine at Christmas was her mother's doing, she had started to question the plausibility of the whole thing on her own. She had asked her mother directly about it, and her mother had equally directly lied to her and continued to perpetrate the deception. It was that direct violation of the faith my wife had in her mother that hurt her.

Of course, she got over it. But she remembers. And when she looks in the eyes of our children who place blind faith in her, she resolves that she will live up to that faith whenever possible.

Which sounds like a lot of melodrama over a silly tradition, which maybe it is. But there you have it.

Jamie

Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ

I see no reason not to tell them tat ther eis a santa for a while. If they get too believing in it, well...then a bit of intervention will be necessary, but I doubt that any child can go for more than 6 or seven years without deciding that santa is fake.

K

Jamie:

I think your wife's feelings are well warranted.

I don't have any problem with the whole Santa myth (even though we don't happen to be perpetuating it). But I do find it sad when a child seeks to honestly question something about his/her world and receive a direct lie from someone they really trust.

Sheep in the big city

I'm with Jamie_L and K - why would anyone want to lie to their children? I don't have any, but I don't think I'd be capable of that. I mean a little lie to quickly get them of your back - ok. But an elaborate scheme that drags on for years - why?
And there is really no benefit whatsoever and a (pretty small) potential for damage.

[ October 08, 2002: Message edited by: Sheep in the big city ]</p>

Shake

Well, I've never known anyone who was traumatized by finding out that Santa isn't real. But I like the idea of pushing Santa as a way to keep Xmas the secular holiday that it has become. Oh sure, the fundies will keep pushing, "the reason for the season," but REASON is the one thing they don't want! What with it being the enemy of religion and all.