cheetah

OOOO, you and your friends haven't been getting very good lovin' then! I've known several guys who totally lose control during sex, doing and saying things they would never do/say normally or in a totally uninhibited way.

You're missin' out!

brighid

Smile. Approach her casually. Ask her about the book she has chosen/is reading. Perhaps you will find you have something in common, capitalize on that. If she appears uncomfortable recognize this and adjust accordingly. Maybe she has a boyfriend, or maybe she isn't comfortable being approached by strange men ... be gracious and perhaps say, "I'm sorry, it appears I am making you uncomfortable but I certainly didn't mean to. I just didn't want to pass an opportunity to speak with an attractive and obviously intelligent woman such as yourself." At this point most women will tell you why they are uncomfortable, or accept the compliment and invite more conversation.

Some women might not like that approach. I guess you have take your chances, but I think most women spending time at Barnes and Noble appreciate a respectful approach, and one that appears to be interested in something other then her tits.


Brighid

cheetah

I think the problem with what many of the male posters here are suggesting is that it deosn't acknowledge that the woman wants to achieve something too. At a club, bar or Barnes & Noble, perhaps the woman went wanting to talk to men, and just because the man is going planning to get laid via talking to women, doesn't mean that the woman should automatically sacrifice her goals (a conversation) because the man is not achieving his. What makes his goal of getting laid so superior to hers that she should cut off the active accomplishment of her goal in order to help him move on and achieve his?

Nothing.

Bible Humper

Heh, I'm not saying that we don't, but if you can get guys going with the same insane intensity as women, then I think I'd better visit San Diego someday!

cheetah

Wait, I'm taken. Didn't I tell you? Oh shoot, I was tricking you and wasting your time, wasn't I?

tronvillain

cheetah:
Well, I still think it is polite for a women to work the existence of a signicant other into the conversation before too long. In my mind, doing otherwise at a bar or club is essentially being deceptive in an effort to obtain attention or entertainment or drinks. To give the impression of being interested in someone (as things such as eye contact and enjoying the conversation can do) without also conveying unavailability is simply dishonest. Are you saying that it doesn't matter what the man in question wants as long as you get your conversation? You are incapable of getting someone to have a conversation with you if you reveal that you are not interested in a sex or a date?

Shadowy Man

Here's a story of a woman's failure to work in her significant other soon enough.

One day I was in the laundry room of my apartment building and I met a young woman there. We exchanged a few words and I went on my way. I saw her again on campus once, and spoke briefly with her again, getting her to mention that she lives alone (not with a husband/boyfriend).

I then encountered her on the way in to my department and we shared the ten minute walk talking about our research, etc. A nice talk and I thought she was receptive, but I missed my opportunity to ask her out. So, I was determined to ask her out the very next time I saw her.

I bumped into her again in the lobby of my building and chatted briefly, ending the conversation with my asking her if she would like to go out for coffee or some such (I don't remember exactly what I said but I thought it was pretty clearly an asking out proposal). She at first declined, and I said "that's fine.. I just thought I'd ask" and was nice about it. She then appeared to think again and said that she would and gave me her email address so we could arrange a time.

When I emailed her asking when would be good, she included in her email this sentence: "Well next week isn't good because my boyfriend is coming into town."

Do you think she could have told me that before accepting my offer to go out?!? I thought it was clear that I was 'asking her out', but maybe I wasn't doing it properly.

Sigh.

seebs

I have been known to go out on movie dates with my friend Jordan (note that, in this case, that's a girl's name), when her husband is out of town; not because we are having a fling, or something like that, but because we're friends.

The problem is that good first dates are also good things to do with "just friends", so it's not always immediately obvious; keep in mind, if she's very firmly attached to the boyfriend in question, it may not even *occur* to her to think about other prospective mates!

Bible Humper

ARRRRRGH! Who do you think you are wasting my time like this! You tease! You Bitch!























LOLLerz

godfry n. glad

And, will most likely be gay. Tough luck, ladies.


godfry