seebs

FWIW, most of the women I know will go clubbing, and to the best of my knowledge, none of them are "looking"; they just like going out dancing. They will talk to people at clubs, but they will not date anyone from clubs. I think most of them warn people off around the "may I buy you a drink" point.

godfry n. glad

Wow...maybe we should quarentine all the "attractive" women, simply _because_ they're attractive?

That way, nobody would be tempted to be "creepy and manipulative".

Yeah...That's the ticket! Shunning will be "in" again....

godfry

Dr. Retard

Um, yeah, that's what I endorsed. Spot on.

brighid

Well, I doubt many men will actually follow that advise but I have tended to hang out in large clubs/bars and believe you me, the pickins' were always slim (especially for male dance partners) and I would have welcomed (one more then the very rare occassion and I can actually think of a handful of times I met a guy who could dance) a nice dance partner. I was weaned on House and Hip-Hop so I love a man who can move with the beat and honestly, in a club/bar situation there are few thing sexier. Shit ... outside of a club a man who can get his groove on is damn hot, even if he isn't Adonis. However, if you can't keep a beat I would not be interested in dancing with you and screwing up my groove is annoying. Salsa is also a very hot dance that isn't difficult to learn and would be good to learn for any man looking to increase his chances with some nice women (or not so nice women).

If the competition is "stiff"(not pun ... well okay it is intended) then it behooves all those trolling males who are looking for a piece of ass to do what they can to increase their chances. Even if they aren't looking for a piece of ass those sorts of things will increase their chances in the actual relationship acquiring department.

There are very real reasons non-feminine gay men are VERY attractive to women and it has a hell of a lot to do with appearance and grooming. It doesn't take a lot of money to look good either. A man need not dress in Armani to be presentable.

Bars are just bad places to meet potential life partners. They can be fun and I agree with cheetah about the myriad reasons women would want to hang out at a club/bar. As to the poster who recommended not getting decorating tips ... we aren't talking about the local pub, but sometime more akin to a trendy dowtown nightspot that is both a bar and a club. They have some fabulous decor!

Brighid

Shadowy Man

No. No need for quarantine, when burkas are available!!

BDS

Beetle asks, "Why isn't honesty the best policy?"

But why should a woman who hardly knows you tell you the intimate details of her personal life? Do you also expect her to tell you the details of her sexual techniques within ten minutes of meeting you, so you can decide whether they are compatable with yours?

Beetle, if he wants to, can always ask, "Do you have a boyfriend, and if not may I buy you a drink?"

The problem is that any respectable woman would reply, "None of your business and no."

Which goes to show how silly Beetle's expectations are.

Ojuice5001

LOL. Do you realize how loaded a description that is? An equally easy way to do it, which comes across completely differently, would be:

Beetle: Do you have a boyfriend?
Woman: No.
Beetle: Can I buy you a drink?

Do you honestly believe that that approach would provoke the same reaction, or that men don't have enough social intuition to realize this? (I mean after a minute or two of conversation, not as an opening line.)

And I thought my ideas of the singles scene were uninformed ...

NHGH

Welcome to the club. I don't get this either.

That's only part of it. I think the behavior described would be "creepy and manipulative" even if it were motivated by nothing more than a desire

to make conversation. Just to quote a few examples:

(Manipulative; attempt to conceal intent to engage in conversation.)

...

TRANSLATION: If she's evidently uninterested in talking to you, don't leave her alone (creepy). Instead, keep attempting to provoke a response and exploit her natural inclination not to be rude to others in order to prevent her from disengaging (manipulative).

...

(No further comment should be necessary for this one...)

(More advice on how to deny her an opportunity to politely disengage, while steering the conversation to a more personal level. Utterly rude and presumptuous.)

Not being an attractive female (or for that matter even an unattractive female), I am not subjected to such annoying behavior on anything like a regular basis, for which I am thankful. I have encountered it on rare occasions, however; it almost invariably turns out to be an attempt to sell me something I don't want. Which, come to think of it, is exactly what Bible Humper's post comes off as--a manual for pushy and obnoxious salesmanship, with one's self as the product.

I can't imagine anyone responding positively to this approach, whether undertaken with an eye toward a sexual relationship at some point, or just as an effort to "make conversation". My natural reaction to it (on those few occasions when I'm unfortunate enough to encounter it) is resentment.

WWSD

Where are the good places to meet a potential life partner?

brighid

I guess that depends on your interests. I met my husband via the Internet, but I also met an inordinate amount of assholes as well. I actually know quite a few people who met their mates via the Internet. My maid of honor is getting married to a man she met via an Internet Personals Ad in November.

It's not that one can't meet a good mate at a bar, but I think that is about as probable as meeting an gay atheist at a Conservative Baptist Convention meeting to discuss the sins of homosexuality, women wearing pants and the immorality of Disney World Of course people have and will meet their future mates there, but the odds aren't in their favor.

Brighid