Freethought & Rationalism Archive

hinduwoman · 12-31-2002, 07:28 PM

I was share-riding an auto with a porter I have never seen before. He was eating an apple and offered me some. (not a come-on). I didn't like the look of the apple (overripe and dirty fingers) and refused. So he went on about how I was refusing because he was poor and I was from a better class. That really put my back up, because it seemed to me he was trying to blackmail me with guilt.

Should I have eaten it, just to show solidarity? Do things like these have adverse impact on class relationships?
Can't help thinking that I am under no obligation to eat the bloody fruit just because he was poor, or to show my democractic credentials.

Just Another Infidel · 12-31-2002, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hinduwoman
... So he went on about how I was refusing because he was poor and I was from a better class. That really put my back up, because it seemed to me he was trying to blackmail me with guilt.

Should I have eaten it, just to show solidarity? Do things like these have adverse impact on class relationships?
Can't help thinking that I am under no obligation to eat the bloody fruit just because he was poor, or to show my democractic credentials.

Is solidarity a current issue in India? What kind of solidarity; for democracy, against class distinctions, as fellow Hindus?? It sounds to me like he was trying to shame you with guilt, but then again, he could really feel that way. What are your respective classes? Did you explain the apple looked overripe and his hands were dirty. Didn't your mother tell you not to accept food from strangers??

Sorry for all of the questions, but there sure seems to be a lot going on in India these days. My curiosity is aroused and I'd like to hear about how things really are on the ground for Indians.

JAI

Krieger · 12-31-2002, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hinduwoman
I was share-riding an auto with a porter I have never seen before. He was eating an apple and offered me some. (not a come-on). I didn't like the look of the apple (overripe and dirty fingers) and refused. So he went on about how I was refusing because he was poor and I was from a better class. That really put my back up, because it seemed to me he was trying to blackmail me with guilt.

Should I have eaten it, just to show solidarity? Do things like these have adverse impact on class relationships?
Can't help thinking that I am under no obligation to eat the bloody fruit just because he was poor, or to show my democractic credentials.

Hmm. I don't think you will get very many helpful replies from people that do not live in India and do not know the culture. Personally, I think this is more of a moral question than a political one.

Monkeybot · 12-31-2002, 08:28 PM

Well, I admit that I'm a spoiled middle class college student in the U.S., so there could well be social factors that I'm completely unaware of. However it sounds to me like the guy had a chip on his shoulder, assuming you refused with a modicum of courtesy (I could see him being pissed off if you said "Get that thing away from me!" or whatever, but somehow I don't think that's what you said

).

Actually, I used to be in a situation at work -- this guy I worked with used to come on to me, but I was not at all interested in him (I barely knew him and I didn't want to date my coworker, nevermind that he was sort of creepy). He also happened to be Hispanic, so when I refused he immediately pulls out the race crap -- "You don't date Hispanics or something?!?"

My situation may not be relevant to yours, but I think it's possible that he may have been trying to manipulate you in a similar manner.

mshah2k · 01-01-2003, 05:48 AM

There are a lot worse things than refusing an apple because it was dirty. If a member of the lowest caste touched someone or even came on their property [unless it was to clean the sewers..etc.] of a higher class where I used to live, they would probably be beaten. Refusing a dirty apple because you dont want to eat it is not a crime.

managalar · 01-01-2003, 07:00 AM

As long as the objections 'over-ripe' and 'dirty' are pure (or even if your just not hungry), and not tainted by social pretenses, you have every right to refuse to eat it.

I would bet by your level of concern that you didn't want it for any other reason, that it just looked bad. I'm fairly comfortable saying I'm spoiled, and I almost always refuse food and snacks from others....

hinduwoman · 01-04-2003, 07:51 PM

Thanks for all the responses.
By solidarity I meant, showing that I do not look down on him because he was poor.
I finally decided that I did the right thing, if for no other reason that he is a perfect stranger.

12-31-2002, 07:28 PM	#1
hinduwoman Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: India Posts: 6,977	Is this class-consciousness or what? I was share-riding an auto with a porter I have never seen before. He was eating an apple and offered me some. (not a come-on). I didn't like the look of the apple (overripe and dirty fingers) and refused. So he went on about how I was refusing because he was poor and I was from a better class. That really put my back up, because it seemed to me he was trying to blackmail me with guilt. Should I have eaten it, just to show solidarity? Do things like these have adverse impact on class relationships? Can't help thinking that I am under no obligation to eat the bloody fruit just because he was poor, or to show my democractic credentials.

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12-31-2002, 08:28 PM	#4
Monkeybot Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: North Carolina Posts: 8,102	Well, I admit that I'm a spoiled middle class college student in the U.S., so there could well be social factors that I'm completely unaware of. However it sounds to me like the guy had a chip on his shoulder, assuming you refused with a modicum of courtesy (I could see him being pissed off if you said "Get that thing away from me!" or whatever, but somehow I don't think that's what you said ). Actually, I used to be in a situation at work -- this guy I worked with used to come on to me, but I was not at all interested in him (I barely knew him and I didn't want to date my coworker, nevermind that he was sort of creepy). He also happened to be Hispanic, so when I refused he immediately pulls out the race crap -- "You don't date Hispanics or something?!?" My situation may not be relevant to yours, but I think it's possible that he may have been trying to manipulate you in a similar manner.

01-01-2003, 05:48 AM	#5
mshah2k Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: City of Brotherly Love Posts: 1,691	There are a lot worse things than refusing an apple because it was dirty. If a member of the lowest caste touched someone or even came on their property [unless it was to clean the sewers..etc.] of a higher class where I used to live, they would probably be beaten. Refusing a dirty apple because you dont want to eat it is not a crime.

01-01-2003, 07:00 AM	#6
managalar Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Lincoln, NE, United States Posts: 160	As long as the objections 'over-ripe' and 'dirty' are pure (or even if your just not hungry), and not tainted by social pretenses, you have every right to refuse to eat it. I would bet by your level of concern that you didn't want it for any other reason, that it just looked bad. I'm fairly comfortable saying I'm spoiled, and I almost always refuse food and snacks from others....

01-04-2003, 07:51 PM	#7
hinduwoman Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: India Posts: 6,977	Thanks for all the responses. By solidarity I meant, showing that I do not look down on him because he was poor. I finally decided that I did the right thing, if for no other reason that he is a perfect stranger.

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