Darwin26

CONGRATULATIONS BEST WISHES

Stephen Maturin

Right here, man. I'm utterly devoid of anything that even remotely resembles skillz in that department. Always been that way, always will. To this day I have yet to figure out how my ex-wife and I ever got together. Maybe she was so inept at chatting up that my incompetence didn't bother her all that much. That whole thing turned out to be an extraordinarily catastrophic train wreck anyhoo, so the answer doesn't really matter.

Fortunately enough, the real love of my life was spared the horror of making first contact with me in person. We met by reading one another's writings and later by corresponding directly. By the time we actually started speaking by phone, we were already sufficiently taken with each other that even my buffoonish conversational ineptitude wasn't enough to run her off.

Darwin26

Duh....... nothing like a pair of brilliant creative atheists... with BOTH feet on the ground ...heartz soaring.... with the endearing ability to laff an poke fun at themselves...
...in all that dialogue i never once read anything that resembled Me me me ... but for sure some brilliant, creative, wretched original milktoast slobberrrrring.

It's the best when you can't get enuff of each other.


My BEST to YOU BOTH

lisarea

I know I'm a female and all, but let me share a little something from my playbook that's worked quite nicely for me:



Seriously, though, as others have mentioned, women are not a different species or anything. There is no one way to deal with them, and as such, your best bet is to just to try not to worry about it. Personally, I don't like being 'chatted up' as such. I like being spoken to as though I were an actual human being--no differently from the way you'd talk to your male friends.

When the time comes for actual moves to be made--for me, anyway--the decision's been made, so the content is irrelevant. The relative smooveness of the actual come-on makes no difference at all as far as how I'll respond. Again, this doesn't apply to all women, but nothing really does.

(Hell, I'm not above going all Ignatz Mouse and lobbing a metaphorical brick at some clueless boy's head myself if I have to. And believe you me...)

FoE

Damn straight. I've been that clueless boy several times myself. In university a girl i had a crush on actually had to jump into bed with me naked for me to clue in that she was interested. We've been together 4+ years now and are engaged to be married.

0Evil

Cutter sounds a lot like me, except I'm about 5 years younger and don't have the stepfather or knife-threatening episode to look back on (no offence Cutter, that must have been horrible for all concerned). It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing Cutter, it must have taken at least a little courage to post that.

Monkeybot

Preach it sister!!!

Godless Dave

I tried talking to women exactly as I talk to my male friends, but some of them got offended when I said things like "Holy fucking shit, check out the rack on that babe."

emphryio

I used to have a tough time also and with bad luck I could have been like Cutter.

Anyway my special method to get the woman just drooling over me..... is to have conversations where my objective is only to possibly learn something interesting and show virtually no awareness that this person is even of the opposite sex.

I'm not "chatting up". I'm not trying to impress at all.

I am being polite and yet basically self centered in trying to learn something, anything interesting.

Add in my good looks and fascinating thoughts and there you go occasionally. (But I'm married now.) Next big important point is having a big enough libido to actually want to bother to take it to the next step.

I think many men don't and yet don't understand this is the real problem while many more men have the opposite problem of having such a huge libido that they can't not think of the woman in terms of sex and conversing then is often difficult for them because they are being dishonest in a sense.

Dishonest in that they are thinking of accomplishing one thing, while they are attempting to talk about something else. Not easy or natural to do.

Quit thinking of that alterior motive and talk to women only in order to have interesting conversations. This also means talk to women you find ugly just as much as those you find attractive.

Stiletto One

Sheesh. I wish there were more girls in my age bracket like you. :boohoo:

(I'm 17)

Yeah, I usually don't bother with the whole 'flirting' thing. So I wind up with lots of friends, and without any consideration as a potential boyfriend. Ah well.