Luiseach

I've been reading some of the posts in this thread that concern problems people are having with their family/friends coming to terms with the atheists in their midst. I must say I'm really shocked by a lot of the reactions to people's atheism in the 'real' world. I've never encountered much trouble as a result of my atheism; then again, I don't often advertise the fact that I'm an atheist - I take my 'godlessness' for granted.

Why is it that some people are so opposed to atheism? This might sound like a naive question, but I'm sincerely interested. I tend to see atheism as the status quo, and belief/faith/superstition as being opposed to non-belief - not the other way around.

AspenMama

I've decided to split out this from the other thread "To all atheists who used to be Christians" because I think it deserves its very own thread, and, I wanted to practice this new function.

----AspenMama, SL & S Moderator

LogicMage

My fathers entire side of the family disowned me for being a gay atheist. Oh well small loss, they are fundamentalist bigots and just arent worth my time

Hobbs

If you figure it out, let me know, I'm interested too.

From my own experience, I found it frightening when I first found myself having to face the real possibility that there is no god. I had based my meaning of life on my relationship with what I believed to be God. Also, I liked having a God to pray to and depend on; it was frightening to realize that there really was nothing but me and some other people watching out for me, that we are alone in the universe, the universe doesn't care about me and my fate.

On the other hand, the Greek gods certainly were not a comforting bunch, but Socrates was executed for not believing in the Athenian gods and leading others to question them. So I suppose it's not just the comfort thing. Maybe it's a test of group loyalty: believing in "the city's gods" demonstrates a commitment to the community, questioning those gods can be seen as questioning the community and thus revealing yourself to be untrustworthy.

Hobbs

Out of curiosity, what do you think might have happened if you were just one or the other? Would either of those alone been enough to banish you?

Another question, now that I'm being nosy. Did your father join the rest of his family in disowning you? If not, how does the rest of his family treat him? If so, then what about your mother, does she still "own" you, and how does that affect your parents' relationship with each other? I ask because I think examples where some in a family reject an atheist or homosexual while others do not could create some interesting dynamics between the two camps (unless they have disowned each other because of that disagreement).

My wife's sister has rejected us because we are atheists, but my wife's religious parents have not. Their continuing to be involved with us has contributed to the strain between my wife's sister and their parents, because she thinks they must not be true or proper Christians because they have not disowned their atheist daughter. Thus my interest in Luiseach's question, and LogicMage's family dynamics: this sister used to be an enjoyable person to be around, and we'd like her come to her senses and rejoin the family.

LogicMage

Either or would do it with them.

My father did join in disowning me. My parents are divorced and their relationship hasnt been anywhere near good for the last 7 years.

The two sides of my family(southern baptist on the fathers side, mormon/secular on my mothers side) are not on speaking terms.

Moms side lives in Utah/Arizona, fathers side lives in Mississippi(my family lived in alaska until the divorce, now we are in AZ)

Hope that helps. Personally I am better off without those fundie morons.

Bumble Bee Tuna

People don't like atheists because there's a prejudice. Preacher-types emphasize this. It was emphasized a whole lot in the 50s with the whole 'godless communist" thing.

Why do preachers emphasize it?
Because one of their flock becoming an atheist is THE greatest threat to them. Sinning in any other way is ok because faith is what counts. But stopping believing in God? you're going to hell. And you aren't contributing to the church any more. It's a big threat. Also, if you leave the fold, there's a decent chance you might convince others to do so as well since you have church connections. Churchies becoming atheists is a big threat.

Preachers know it's a threat, so they create a huge stigma around it. This scares people away from considering becoming atheist. It also makes atheists afrain to come out, so theists won't realize how many people doubt God and they take theism for granted.

This is why I try to be very vocal about my atheism. People need to realize that there are more atheists out there than they think, and that atheists are nice people. If we don't work to change their minds, the stigma will remain.

-B

Nataraja

They don't like us because they can't laugh at us.

Luiseach

Well, interestingly enough, my husband (who was raised by a believing mother) took a while to let go of his theism; when as a teenager he finally refused to go to Church, the proverbial faeces hit the proverbial fan...his mother is still upset about it, and is horrified by the subject matter of the books he reads (atheism, phil. of religion, etc.). She was even shocked when one Christmas he thoughtfully gave her a book about the philosophy of religion - one written from an evangelical Christian point of view, not an atheistic one. She seems suspicious of anything that might question or undermine Christianity at all, to the point where she won't even look at writings by believing philosophers!

I think you made a couple good points there, Hobbs...about the 'fear' factor in relation to atheism I mean, added to the 'group' factor. Yes, definitely, fear of a godless universe coupled with the safety in numbers and eject the transgressors mentality...

Talulah

Interesting questions. Being a lesbian atheist, I wonder the same thing. I tucked tailed and ran from my folks last year because of fear of their reaction. (My parents aren't people you would stand in front of to say you were an atheist or lesbian either one.) I sent a letter. Before they got the letter, they thought just ran off (with a guy apparently) and my mother sent me emails telling me to explain....what happened, etc. When they got the letter that contained the explanation, (I don't believe in your god, I refuse to live a lie in your house anymore...i am a lesbian) they haven't attempted contact since except to say 'yes you were right...we won't accept that..we are praying one day you come back to what you know is the truth.' That was almost 8 months ago, and not a peep since.

It could well be the combination. On one hand, if I was a lesbian believer, there is a change I will return to God, but I am living in sin, which they could well reject me for. On the other hand, if I was a straight atheist, they could accept me, as long as they didn't believe I was living in sin...they might change my mind. I could just be hardened, hurt in some way. I don't know. I have heard my father call both atheists and gays 'disgusting' and say openly they don't have a right to any civil rights at all, because they reject god, and/or are practicing an abomination. I know my father believes that atheists and homosexuals both shouldn't have a right to vote, have a job, run for office, be on television, cook his food, and who knows what else. I don't know that my parents have ever spoken face to face with a homosexual (and known it).

As far as other family....

No one on my fathers immediate side of the family has made contact with me.

My cousin, who seemed fine with knowing I had lesbian proclivities cut off contact when she found out I was an atheist.

I have some limited email contact with my mothers family, whose main problem seems to be that I left home. They haven't mentioned my lifestyle or beliefs.