Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Bumble Bee Tuna · 04-24-2003, 05:40 PM

Yes, lowly maggots, it is I, your ruthless lord for eternity! I shall torment you, and look good doing it damn it!

You might be thinking "I don't like this whole 'torment' thing". Understandable. But let your good buddy Satan explain it to you. come, gather round.

Being in Hell can be fun! An adventure! It's not as bad as people make it out to be. Look, here I am, Captain Satan...King of adventure? Isn't that fun?

It's not all darkness and woe in the pits of Hell. Sometimes we just get silly! One night I got really drunk, and sure enough the guys had me dressed like a woman in no time. Those were wild times...I never knew how hard it was to wear heels!

But don't you get too comfortable! For I am SATAN! And I do not tolerate fools. Look at me in my foreboding pose.

Maybe, if you just let me have complete dominion over your soul, you could be one of my demons! My demons have a marvelous time. Look at this fellow!

And don't think there aren't benefits! I am an equal opportunity employer. Even the mentally handicapped can work as demons. And I have a policy of free drinks for every employee!

It get's boring sometimes here in Hell...Sometimes I resort to just standing around, playing with imaginary clay...

So please, come keep me company! Just about everyone who has ever lived is down here, and we're having a party!

-King Lucifer the DCLXVI

Demigawd · 04-24-2003, 05:46 PM

Hey, Satan, did you ever patch things up with Chris? You really shouldn't have cheated on him with Sadam, you know.

elanah · 04-24-2003, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bumble Bee Tuna

It get's boring sometimes here in Hell...Sometimes I resort to just standing around, playing with imaginary clay...

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Shake · 04-25-2003, 12:58 PM

BBT wins for having the coolest 666th post yet!

dublczek · 04-25-2003, 01:10 PM

I am convinced, o' Nasty One of Puissance and Pulchritude. Might I suggest you fire your press agent? Bumble Bee Tuna is less than you deserve. All hail the great Devastator of Wombats!!!

Do what thou wilt is the hole (sic) of the law...

Bumble Bee Tuna · 04-25-2003, 07:39 PM

Yay! How appropriate! In my I am satan topic, I got some notworthy worship smileys. Hooray! My life is now fulfilled.

And I don't think you understood, dublczek. I AM Satan, not Satan's press agent. FOOL!

I will beat you mercilessly.
*sniff*...It's so sad to have to post #667...

-B

dublczek · 04-26-2003, 06:33 AM

I abase myself, O Bloated Lord of Blathering. I knowest it is thou. I meant the other press agent, LOOF! The one who gave you your handle. Bumble Bee Tuna, indeed. No wonder decent, flaw-abiding angels snicker in thy general direction...

Bumble Bee Tuna · 04-28-2003, 10:43 AM

I will freely admit, the name "Bumble Bee Tuna" does not sound Satanic.

But have you forgotten that I am the Great DECIEVER? The Lord of Deception Himself? This is all part of my master plan. Do not despair. Wait, yes, despair, I'm also the Lord of Despair. It's all good. I mean, evil.

-B

Novowels · 04-28-2003, 11:03 AM

BBT = Not really Dolphin Safe.

dublczek · 04-28-2003, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bumble Bee Tuna
It's all good. I mean, evil.

You rule, my Lord of Despicability. Never will I think your brains squeezed tight like the ram's by the root of horns.

04-24-2003, 05:40 PM	#1
Bumble Bee Tuna Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Middletown, CT Posts: 7,333	I an SATAN, your eternal lord of darkness Yes, lowly maggots, it is I, your ruthless lord for eternity! I shall torment you, and look good doing it damn it! You might be thinking "I don't like this whole 'torment' thing". Understandable. But let your good buddy Satan explain it to you. come, gather round. Being in Hell can be fun! An adventure! It's not as bad as people make it out to be. Look, here I am, Captain Satan...King of adventure? Isn't that fun? It's not all darkness and woe in the pits of Hell. Sometimes we just get silly! One night I got really drunk, and sure enough the guys had me dressed like a woman in no time. Those were wild times...I never knew how hard it was to wear heels! But don't you get too comfortable! For I am SATAN! And I do not tolerate fools. Look at me in my foreboding pose. Maybe, if you just let me have complete dominion over your soul, you could be one of my demons! My demons have a marvelous time. Look at this fellow! And don't think there aren't benefits! I am an equal opportunity employer. Even the mentally handicapped can work as demons. And I have a policy of free drinks for every employee! It get's boring sometimes here in Hell...Sometimes I resort to just standing around, playing with imaginary clay... So please, come keep me company! Just about everyone who has ever lived is down here, and we're having a party! -King Lucifer the DCLXVI

04-25-2003, 12:58 PM	#4
Shake Contributor Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Folding@Home in upstate NY Posts: 14,394	We have a WINNER! BBT wins for having the coolest 666th post yet!

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

04-24-2003, 05:46 PM	#2
Demigawd Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: On a sailing ship to nowhere, leaving any place Posts: 2,254	Hey, Satan, did you ever patch things up with Chris? You really shouldn't have cheated on him with Sadam, you know.

04-25-2003, 01:10 PM	#5
dublczek Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: San Francisco Posts: 132	I am convinced, o' Nasty One of Puissance and Pulchritude. Might I suggest you fire your press agent? Bumble Bee Tuna is less than you deserve. All hail the great Devastator of Wombats!!! Do what thou wilt is the hole (sic) of the law...

04-25-2003, 07:39 PM	#6
Bumble Bee Tuna Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Middletown, CT Posts: 7,333	Yay! How appropriate! In my I am satan topic, I got some notworthy worship smileys. Hooray! My life is now fulfilled. And I don't think you understood, dublczek. I AM Satan, not Satan's press agent. FOOL! I will beat you mercilessly. sniff...It's so sad to have to post #667... -B

04-26-2003, 06:33 AM	#7
dublczek Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: San Francisco Posts: 132	I abase myself, O Bloated Lord of Blathering. I knowest it is thou. I meant the other press agent, LOOF! The one who gave you your handle. Bumble Bee Tuna, indeed. No wonder decent, flaw-abiding angels snicker in thy general direction...

04-28-2003, 10:43 AM	#8
Bumble Bee Tuna Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Middletown, CT Posts: 7,333	I will freely admit, the name "Bumble Bee Tuna" does not sound Satanic. But have you forgotten that I am the Great DECIEVER? The Lord of Deception Himself? This is all part of my master plan. Do not despair. Wait, yes, despair, I'm also the Lord of Despair. It's all good. I mean, evil. -B

04-28-2003, 11:03 AM	#9
Novowels Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sydney Posts: 1,658	BBT = Not really Dolphin Safe.

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.