Monkeybot

Hey, we girls happen to fear rejection too, ya know!! As a result, I find myself resorting to the "drop hints" strategy, which unfortunately doesn't work on the more clueless members of the opposite gender. And before you ask, yes, they were incredibly blatant hints, at least in my opinion. "I heard X is a good movie... I'd like to go... but not by myself..." *chuckle*

Also, I do tend to be direct in asking for phone numbers or other contact information, which I consider to be a pretty clear indication that I'm at least somewhat interested in getting to know you further.

Anson

Although that's relating to propositions for sex, which is different to relationships.

Anson

The problem with merely dropping hints is that you could be confused with one of those women who flirts with you and tries to get you to chase them, and then just turns you down when you ask them out.

Monkeybot

There's a pretty big difference between "Will you have sex with me?" and "Will you be my boy/girlfriend?" I can't speak for anybody else, but I probably would have said no to the guy just because I knew nothing about him. I mean, who knows whether or not he's carrying protection, or if he's going to turn out to be violent, or if he won't take my physical needs into consideration? (In other words, if he'll be a shitty lover?)

Maybe so, but let's not forget the stigma attached to women who are "too available" -- namely, you're either a slut, or desperate for a relationship.

Monkeybot

If she's that manipulative, she's not worth your time in the first place.

Actually, I'm mostly at a loss to respond, since something like that wouldn't really occur to me to do, and I'd be highly insulted if someone imputed such dishonest motives to me.

lisarea

Well, I'm not a 'girl' by a long stretch any more, but, dude, girls can be geeks. Girls can be shy and socially awkward and stutter and trip over their own feet as well as any boy. And they can get the shit beat out of them as well as any boy, too.

Furthermore, at such a young age, we tend to go with the flow. Because of the social climate in a place like high school, a girl who asked a boy out and was shot down would likely suffer far more serious consequences than a boy would. That is just the way those things work--or at least that's the way they worked when I was that age.

At the time of my OWN painful adolescent geek crush, I was also being thrown into walls and having my head stuck in toilets. My cool dating years didn't start until I dropped out of school and turned all punk, and you just don't meet cute geeks at bandit shows at abandoned meat packing plants. I wasn't going out of my way to go to chess clubs and shit to find me some geeky boys--although maybe it wouldn't have been such a bad idea in retrospect.

However, now that I'm an adult and am slightly less concerned about receiving actual physical beatdowns for exhibiting behaviors outside the norm, I not only have no qualms but am downright persistent about making the first (through about the TENTH *ahem*) move if I'm interested in some particularly dense creature.

But it seems like this whole bitterness thing at least in part arises from that idea that girls are a different species. Teenaged girls might tend to look a more mature than teenaged boys and all, but it doesn't mean they are.

Anson

Yeah, for sure. But unfortunately it's often too hard to tell until it's too late.

Quote:

Actually, I'm mostly at a loss to respond, since something like that wouldn't really occur to me to do, and I'd be highly insulted if someone imputed such dishonest motives to me.

Don't worry about it. No ones' accusing you.

Stiletto One

You know, that reminds me of a conversation I had with my hall-mates:
...or something to that effect.

And to Suaup: YES! It was pretty horrible, actually; I was attracted to a girl at the same time that she was attracted to me, and naturally, neither of us said anything. So instead we bitch and moan about the (relative, depending who's bitching and moaning) opposite sex at each other now.