Shadownought

I'd love to see that.

ApostateAbe

<img src="graemlins/boohoo.gif" border="0" alt="[Boo Hoo]" /> <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[Bang Head]" /> <img src="graemlins/boohoo.gif" border="0" alt="[Boo Hoo]" /> <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[Bang Head]" />

Jove

Fucking idiot.

Starboy

Where are all the fine Christians to denounce this? Too busy denouncing atheists? Blatant disregard is tacit approval.

Family Man

Having a little extra time on my hands tonight, I can't resist trying a little satire ala QOS. I hope this pitiful effort honors the master.

SECTION I

Atheists cannot understand the true God

Personally, I can only understand the false ones.

Fact number one.

Apparently, there isn't a fact number two. He never gets around to it.

God is God.

No, he's not. He's really George Burns.

God is good

Let us thank him for our food.

Do not judge God unless you are over God.

Only the author is over God.

Being God means being higher and greater than ALL things. This means nothing is over you. Since nothing is over you, then this means no one can judge you to be wrong, because there exist no law over you by which you can be judged.

So quit yer bellyaching about all those massacres instigated by God in the OT, already. Wait, do you feel some raindrops?

Since we have proven God is not under any law, we have dismantled any argument against Him.

Gosh, that was easy, wasn't it?

THEREFORE GOD DOES NOT HAVE TO LOVE YOU.

AND HE'S NOT COMING TO YOUR BAR MITZVAH EITHER.

Atheists are extremely immature thinkers

I'm only four.

God is not bound by gravity

And they said white guys can't jump.

Circles, squares, and other figures are limited realities of THIS world, but do not apply to God who is infinitely higher.

Cause he's got some mighty fine weed.

Suppose a school bus full of innocent children blows up. Blame God now and say God does not exist since He allowed so many children to die? NO! God has a right to do whatever He pleases.

Which apparently includes blowing up buses full of innocent children. What a way for an all-loving God to get his jollies.

But another important thing to consider. Problems exist in this world because of the original sin,

Which, apparently, is the primary cause of exploding buses.

When Adam disregarded God’s command not to eat of the forbidden tree, Adam acted atheistically.

Wow, I didn't know I had such a famous forebearer!

By Adam acting atheistic in the first place, this is what caused all the trouble atheists try to blame God for today. Atheists, blame YOURSELVES.

Why? Because God couldn't convince his own perfect creation to behave himself?

The world’s largest antagonistic against adultery, pornography, murder, blasphemy, children who curse their parents, cruelty, abortion, homosexuality, incest, rape, theft, the devaluation of human life, vanity, the chicanery of science, evolution, atheism, violence in schools, fornication,

and bedwetting

is CHRISTIANITY

BUT ONLY THE ALL-CAP VARIETY! ALL OTHER FORMS OF CHRISTIANITY IS ATHEISTIC!

Since atheists are perpetrators and intemperate indulgers in every one of the evils listed above, they are vehement against CHRISTIANITY since it’s promulgation means a termination of their freedom to commit such acts.

Yep, a day doesn't go by that some some atheist isn't arrested after mowing down good Christians with his Uzi.

Look on the web, on atheist sites and you will find a form of ALL the evils listed above; - they have obscene pictures, condone homosexuals; - everything nasty.

Not everything nasty. We have an aversion to Christianity.

they view the teaching of the Bible as narrow-mindedness and intolerable

As this website proves.

simply because it acts as an immunity against the dirty dumb deeds of profanity.

Ooooh, alliteration. It must be true.

Yes, the Biblical teaching imbued in people’s mind often does limit their range of sinfulness, and it does narrow one’s life down to a life of purity, civility and morality.

Which explains Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Baker.

In the history of Christianity, virtual atheists have taken on the profession of Christianity,

Cyber atheists?

and under it’s name, have shocked the world for violence, cruelty and profanity. Often this was done because Christianity had recognizable emotional potency and respect, and thus they usurped it’s civility as a persuasion and justification tool for their actions. However, this was not true Christianity.

For if it was true Christianity, they would have gotten away with it.

Atheists blindly link Christianity into all the filth of HEATHENS, simply because the HEATHENS uttered the words, "I am a Christian."

The fools, believing what people tell them about themselves!

Would it be true atheism to blame if I were to bear the title , "Avowed Positivist Atheist" and in that name bombed the world?

For we all know that Atheism teaches -- bomb the world.

Well, yes, because insatiable violence is the innate tendency of atheism.

Damn, where did I put my Uzi again?

. But as for Christianity, personally killing everyone in the world would be a violation of it’s inherent commandment, "Love thy worthy neighbor as thyself."

Which is why every murderer in history was not a True Christian(tm).

BTW: Much was snipped due to redundancy.

[ December 15, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>

Dark Jedi

"No where in your entire rantings did you come anywhere close to what can be considered a rational answer. We are all now dumber from having heard that. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul." -host in Billy Madison

I found it strangely applicable.

Amie

donut day at church...

nah I like you guys too much...

or perhaps just did not happen to venture into this thread

I disagree too, that person sounds like a moron...
what can you do? some Chrisians feel animosity towards all atheists, some atheists feel animosity towards all Christians...sad but true.

Family Man

SECTION II

Atheism is evil and bad

And a little naughty too.

If you are an atheist, you are already visiting this page with bias hatred.

As opposed to the obvious objectivity of the author.

Remember, since you call yourself "scientific" you must approach all statements on this site with the attitude that any statement can true and should not be rejected unless scientific analysis proves beyond doubt that any statement is false.

For we all know that science accepts that everything is true until proven false -- right!!!?

I am just following your own beliefs okay?

And he calls us "immature thinkers"

No one dying in atheism will go to heaven

Neither will any Christian either -- not even those of the True variety.

no set of moral codes have been saved due to atheism

That's because we keep forgetting to put the floppy in the drive.

and because atheism is based on lies formulated for those full of God-hate.

But only because of all those exploding buses full of children. I wouldn't hate him if it weren't for that.

These reasons are not ramblings of opinions.

No, they are just ramblings.

Most of them have been stated by atheists themselves. Atheists say atheism isn’t about morality. They try to say atheism is amoral, which of course is another immoral lie characteristic of atheism.

And we all know that God-hate is immoral.

A realization of atheism’s origin elucidates the principles it stands behind. Atheists are unable to pinpoint a specific character in history who first initiated atheism, and that’s simply because atheism did not start with a human.

Yes, only Christianity can claim to be founded by man.

Atheism came from the creature who had the deepest hatred for God and with the keenest knowledge of God’s existence.

I wish he'd stop picking on George Burns.

In fact, this knowledge of God’s existence coupled with this hatred is the basis behind contemporary atheism. Atheism is both a murder statement towards God and an illusive source of comfort since this murder of God is impossible.

I know, I tried. Uzis don't work on him. Damn!

As you may have already guessed, satan was the first to step in the mire of atheism.

No! You don't say.

. Satan, who of course hates God, wants to destroy God. But finding this destruction impossible, he uses the deception that God doesn’t exist to soothe his inability.

Which explains that fictional battle Satan waged against the guy he doesn't believe exists.

Since satan wants to make mankind more comfortable in performing deeds God will punish them for, satan, likewise feeds them the deception that God doesn’t exist. This is his tactic to make them feel more free to practice the evil deeds they will be punished for.

I still can't find that damned Uzi!

Atheism helps confound professing Christians with questions like, "How do you know God exist?"

And "Why do you read garbage like this?"

Atheists also seek to elude clear linkage with the devil, by also claiming he doesn’t exist.

Oooh, we are clever little devils, aren't we?

Atheism is not about the ignorance of God’s existence (no such ignorance exist), but is about ignoring God’s existence. As long as atheists can keep trying to make lack of knowledge of God their foundation, they can quickly work to destroy Christians’ foundation based on God, without having to buffer themselves from the attacks Christians would make if they (atheists) acknowledged God.

Isn't it terrible that Christianity is so weak that atheists can destroy it so quickly?

In other words, while the "Christian" is scratching his head for an answer on "Prove God exist"

Actually, this guy picks his butt, but he doesn't like to admit it.

atheists, in full knowledge of God, go and destroy the works of Christianity and supplant it with satanism.

Works? What works?

Atheists are indeed immoral.

Well, we have to be, don't you see?

While one person may chose to act immorally by robbing banks, another may act more immorally by initiating evolution.

Which is why evolutionists are incarcerated in places like Harvard, Stanford, Michigan, Notre Dame....

Atheists think they live morally, since they don’t end up in prisons

Which are reserved for Christians, but not of the True variety.

, but this is simply because atheists have made laws which exclude most criminal acts of atheists from the penalty of incarceration

Which apparently means that the founding fathers and a majority of the members of Congress throughout all history were atheists. Gee, didn't know we were so powerful, did you?

Hey, my friend is an atheist.
That’s a sign that the devil is trying to get you hooked on his satanic spirit.

And only us True Christians can get people addicted.

God tells Christians not to be unequal to yoke with unbelievers and being friends with atheists is a prime way to disobey that command. By all means get away from atheists, -assuming of course, you told them straight they are wrong and shouldn’t be accepted.

And that Adolph Hitler guy had a hell of an idea with those gas chambers.

When you trail the path of atheism, you travel a suicidal path, because the God atheists deny will punish them forever.

For we all know what a nice guy God is.

No matter how nice atheists seem, keep in mind, if you saw satan, you would see no person nicer.

Which explains why the author is such an asshole.

But atheists don’t realize God exist.
All atheists know God exist.

After all, they see churches on every corner. It must be true.

They frequent God’s name in conversations.

And Santa Clause too. Don't forget Santa. He must exist too.

Psalms 14:1 says, "The fool has said in his heart, there is no God." It does not say, "The ignorant has said in his heart..." nor "The who doesn’t realize..." nor "The one who needs proof has said in his heart there is no God." Also in Romans 1:19-21, we read that everyone knows God exists.

And we all believe everything we read.

How do you know they hate God
Atheists clearly exhibit a contorted and deep hatred for God which everyone aware of atheism are familiar with. They will call God all types of names,

Yeah, like booger-eater and fancy pants

and tell a lot of lies on God.

While jumping up and down on him to boot.

No one can ever do any such things to someone they loved, nor to a fictitious character.

Perhaps the first sensible thing he's said this entire rant.

I do not appreciate you speaking against atheists
If you are an atheist, of course you do not.

Yes I do! Yes I do! This is highly entertaining.

You don't understand atheists
There is no stereotyping of atheists here. All atheists are bad,

No, no stereotyping here.

I have spoke with many atheists, I am not afraid of them, I haven't been shot by one.

Just you wait until I find my Uzi.

What both you and I ARE harmed from are the dangerous workings of atheism, which is killing babies, freeing criminals and establishing anti-God deception.

Nah, I say let those Christians rot in jail.

But atheists have the right to be atheists
By who? Did man give atheists the right to be atheists? The USA constitution did? What is that? Who are the founding fathers?

Not True Christians, apparently

As you can see, there is no exalted nor great entity which provides atheism with a right to existence. But Christians have the Almighty God who gives them the right to be in existence.

Visions of gas chambers are dancing in his head.

The right the American constitution gives it is obsolete and holds no right in God's sight. Remember, we will have to render account unto God, not the American constitution on judgment day, - thank God!

It's revolution, baby!

Atheism is about proof
Atheism indeed, reveals it is a crutch for the wicked and weak, as it says it needs proof for the apparent existence of it's adherents' Maker.

He apparently could care less about evidence.

According to atheists' statements, they show they are some of the most ignorant people on earth in things pertaining to spiritual aspects. They don't realize angels and demons exist.

Or unicorns. Or Zeus. Or Harry Potter. Or....

Just like almost every manufacturer stamps it's name or code onto it's product, God has placed the knowledge of Himself in EVERY human.

Which is why there are so many Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Mormons, and Scientologists in the world.

Thus deep down, ALL atheists know God exist.

And he knows this due to his status as a True Christian(tm).

[ December 15, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>

Speechless

</strong>

I've been searching for an hour and I can't find the II porn collection. Could someone post a link to them for....educational purposes, of course.

btw, great job, family man

[ December 15, 2002: Message edited by: Speechless ]</p>

Nobelia

This is just ridiculous.
People can be so stupid.