GunnerJ

The high levels of SEXAY eminating from livus' post have convinced me to move this thread Elsewhere. Have fun.

The Cromwell Institute

WTF are you doing buttering a blade in the first place? I've heard of someone oiling a sword, but buttering it?

Don't worry, though - buttering your blade is weird, but it won't make it lose its edge. Just make sure to clean the butter off before it goes rancid and nasty.

Jobar

Jobar considers laying the Atheist's Curse upon sweep

Nah. He's not *nearly* obnoxious enough. Yet, anyway.

GunnerJ

T LIVIUS: MAKE WITH THE SECKZAY BONDAGE PUNISHMENT K PLS THANKEW.

Godless Dave

"I eat my peas with honey, I've done it all my life
They do taste kind of funny, but it keeps them on the knife."

sweep

Why did the author write this poem?

A. To help us learn about how to eat peas.

B. To tell us something funny or have fun with words.

C. To make us want to eat peas with honey.

D. To help us imagine what peas with honey looks like.

E. To kill sweep with a pugiling stick

F. To remind us how annoying peas are

answers on a postcard Peas

Daisy

Yo Godless! I haven't heard that little ditty in ages.

It's the only knife poem I know.

Godless Dave

Do you happen to know the author, or is it traditional? I can picture the book I read it in but I don't remember the title.

sweep

no, don't know GD.
------------------------------------------

A honey tongue, a heart of gall.

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livius drusus

Yeah, okay. Enough of this peas and honey scheisse. Let's get down to business before Rimstalker loses all sense of proper spelling and syntax, shall we?

Sweep, you ignorant slut. Just where the hell do you get off calling my writing wordy and convoluted? Has it occurred to you that the reason the handful of threads you've started have shrivelled after a handful of flaccid little posts (the vast majority of them your replies to yourself) is that it takes you a couple of screens to make no sense at all? I've seen better articulated statements in randomly arranged refrigerator magnets, for chrissakes. Here's an example of high-grade, uncut drivel from one of your posts:
What the hell is that? Esperanto? Some kind of language twins teach each other? I'll tell you what it is. It's a bizarre tangent encased in a rambling wreck of prose, complete with nonsensical dialogue and the answers to questions nobody but you could even imagine asking.

Then you have the unmitigated gall to crap all over my vocabulary, as if my command of the English language is somehow an affront to your own monosyllablic impenetrability. I use the words I use a) because I am as comfortable with them as you are with "the" and "em," and b) because I like to elucidate my point as precisely as I know how. If Malcolm X could memorize the entire dictionary when he was in prison, surely you can find the strength to click on www.dictionary.com whenever you come across a word you don't understand. Why hork your bitter grape seeds on me?

But the final insult, and the one that really burned my ass like a flame about 3 feet high, was when you misquoted something I had written in the Great Pics thread, and then actually had the temerity to call me eloquent. Without attribution, no less! After the thesaurus (and possibly acid) induced rampage you went on in GP, after calling my writing "garrulous" and "sporadic vociferacions" (whatever that might mean in your little Roget-colored world of faulty connotation), did you actually think I'd be cool with you mangling my syntax, putting it in your usual ungrammatical single quotes, and then throwing me a tiny little bone of a compliment by calling me "one of the more eloquent posters"?

As fucking if.