elwoodblues

Fairly often in my family. The only military connection we have is my grandfather, who was a Marine in Korea.

Evolved

My family never says "I love you" and I craved hearing it so much that I tell my daughter quite frequently that I love her and it's so nice when she's drifting off to sleep or even just playing hse'll look at me at say "I just love you Mommy" and I feel as though my heart will burst.

My husbands family is not affectionate and he had trouble saying I love you to me, even hugging me, but now we both say it quite frequently and it's nice to hear our daughter tell him that too and he says it to her. And like MrFrosty, my husbands family find him emotionally disconnected and blame Vietnam. But on the night our daughter was born my Folks and Sis-n -law were on the elevator and she told my parents that Rod never shows any emotion and my Dad said "In order to show emotion you must be shown emotion." SIL just stared at Dad and dropped the subject.


I think it depends on the family more than a lifestyle whether or not people are affectionate. My Grandparents were never in the military nor, keeping their feelings to themselves were how they were raised and that's how they raised their children and so on and so on.

And since our daughter is so open with her I love you's I find that I feel closer to my folks and brother even though we don't say those words to each other, just to her.

My brother is leaving for Bagdad at the end of the month and he's been gone from home for a month now and we have been telling each other "I love you" in our letters. Too bad we couldn't do it before, you know? The thought that I may never see him again has driven me to tell him that I love him in every letter and every e-mail and he is doing the same to me.

Viti

We (people who are openly affectionate) don't constantly crave affection for an ego stroke! Telling people how you feel when you feel it is emotionally healthy IMO, not pathetic. If something ever happened to anyone I care about...I don't want the last words I said to them to be "Can you grab some milk on the way home", or "Okay bye". Our time together on this Earth is short and finite...my biggest fear is growing old and regretting things unsaid, things not done, or issues unresolved/unforgiven. There are very few people I truly love and I make sure they know about it in word and deed.

Amie

I say it everyday to my family

HazyRigby

My husband's family is the same as MrFrosty's. They're very unaffectionate...hugging is fairly rare, and "I love yous" are nonexistent. When he was a little boy, he was almost never touched. However, he's the most affectionate person I've ever known toward me--he constantly wants to be touched and stroked and loved. Making up for lost time, I guess.

My family is the opposite (even though my dad's was a career military man). They like lots of touching, hugging, kissing...yeesh. My mom tells me she loves me four or five times in one conversation.

snoiduspoitus

I never tell my parents I love them, and I recall not a single instance of them telling me, ever.

I tell my children I love them every day without fail, and my wife less often.

(I recall a female comedienne who said 'Do you get the feeling that a man that tells you he loves you all of the time loves you less than the man that never says it at all?')

Sakpo

My family says it almost every day. Whenever someone is going to bed while other people are awake they go around and exchange a hug, kiss, and "love you"s with the people who are still up. It's not formulaic or unfelt though, despite how routinized it is. Perfectly loving families can go without saying it though, obviously. My girlfriend's family (she lives with her mom and brother) never say it to one another, and they only hug at Christmas, sometimes, but they live in a very loving, supportive household nonetheless and they all know how the others feel.

Loki

Very much so. My family's very affectionate. My parents say it to me, and I to them. I tell my boyfriend i love him, and he tells me he loves me. I grew up in a huggy, kissy family, and am a little more physically reserved, but it's in there, nonetheless.

Strawberry

My family says it *all the time.* It's one of the best things about my family, I think. I never for a minute doubted it, even at times when I was most angry about decisions my parents have made.

Bumble Bee Tuna

My family never says it. I heard it for the only time I can remember last August when I went away to college. I was going into the airport and my mom cried and said she loved me. First time. Since then I've heard it a few times on the phone. And emails are usually signed with a "Love,". My brother says it now, at least in emails. But that's only because he became a fundy so emotionally it's not very fulfilling.

Over the course of my life I always thought it was silly that people say it all the time, it seems kinda meaningless. But at the same time, I kinda wish my parents said it at least sometimes. There have been a few rare occasions where I've doubted it for whatever reasons.

It is probably part of the reason that I have grown up to be a largely emotionless shell of a person. That can be a blessing and a curse.

-B