Freethought & Rationalism Archive

notto · 06-07-2002, 03:20 AM

Evolution is a conspiracy . . .
involving a hundred thousand research hours,
producing thousands of scientific research papers,
by thousands of scientists,
over hundreds of years,
in dozens of countries,
to prove to . . .
a senior biology student,
in an American public school,
that there is no God.

[ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: notto ]</p>

Jamie_L · 06-07-2002, 04:29 AM

Actually, if there's all this evidence buried in the earth and inside all living things that supports evolution...

And if God created the earth and all living things...

Isn't evolution a conspiracy by God?

Jamie

bluefugue · 06-07-2002, 06:14 AM

Actually, if my own high school experience is any indication, it was part of a conspiracy to make me flunk the AP Bio test...

But evolution didn't give me the hardest time, come to think of it. I kept getting "xylem" and "phloem" cells confused. Worse than stalactites and stalagmites...

Late_Cretaceous · 06-07-2002, 06:30 AM

Hey ID, I can never remember the difference between xylem and phloem either, but there is a good way to remember the difference between stalactites and stalagmites. StalacTITe; the word TIT is in stalactite - just think of a pair of tits hanging down just as do the stalactites.

abe smith · 06-07-2002, 06:38 AM

Heck, Late Cretaceous, that's no help! The tits I"m familiar w/ all point UP. So? How about "tight" as in "anus" >>>> bottoms up. Abe

bluefugue · 06-07-2002, 07:00 AM

Nothing is worse than hopelessly convoluted mnemonics.

"31 days hath September..." ugh!

[ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: IesusDomini ]</p>

Coragyps · 06-07-2002, 07:02 AM

ID - beautiful rant! Now we can watch for it to show up sans attribution on some fundy website as if they wrote it and meant it!

bluefugue · 06-07-2002, 07:03 AM

How about this:

"Stalagmites" = "Stalag 17" = way UP in Russia!

Oolon Colluphid · 06-07-2002, 07:09 AM

Ti(gh)ts come down!

Erm, do you Americans call 'em tights?

Oolon

gallo · 06-07-2002, 07:14 AM

Awesome effort, IesusDomini <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

However, I think that the spelling was much too good and you didn't use caps a single time. Those two points meant that it didn't ring true for me.

By the way, isn't a "xylemphloem" some sort of musical instrument?

[ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: gallo ]</p>

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06-07-2002, 03:20 AM	#11
notto Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Minneapolis, MN US Posts: 133	Evolution is a conspiracy . . . involving a hundred thousand research hours, producing thousands of scientific research papers, by thousands of scientists, over hundreds of years, in dozens of countries, to prove to . . . a senior biology student, in an American public school, that there is no God. [ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: notto ]</p>

06-07-2002, 04:29 AM	#12
Jamie_L Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: U.S. Posts: 2,565	Actually, if there's all this evidence buried in the earth and inside all living things that supports evolution... And if God created the earth and all living things... Isn't evolution a conspiracy by God? Jamie

06-07-2002, 06:14 AM	#13
bluefugue Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,427	Actually, if my own high school experience is any indication, it was part of a conspiracy to make me flunk the AP Bio test... But evolution didn't give me the hardest time, come to think of it. I kept getting "xylem" and "phloem" cells confused. Worse than stalactites and stalagmites...

06-07-2002, 06:30 AM	#14
Late_Cretaceous Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Alberta Posts: 1,049	Hey ID, I can never remember the difference between xylem and phloem either, but there is a good way to remember the difference between stalactites and stalagmites. StalacTITe; the word TIT is in stalactite - just think of a pair of tits hanging down just as do the stalactites.

06-07-2002, 06:38 AM	#15
abe smith Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: springfield, MA. USA Posts: 2,482	Heck, Late Cretaceous, that's no help! The tits I"m familiar w/ all point UP. So? How about "tight" as in "anus" >>>> bottoms up. Abe

06-07-2002, 07:00 AM	#16
bluefugue Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,427	Nothing is worse than hopelessly convoluted mnemonics. "31 days hath September..." ugh! [ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: IesusDomini ]</p>

06-07-2002, 07:02 AM	#17
Coragyps Veteran Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Snyder,Texas,USA Posts: 4,411	ID - beautiful rant! Now we can watch for it to show up sans attribution on some fundy website as if they wrote it and meant it!

06-07-2002, 07:03 AM	#18
bluefugue Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,427	How about this: "Stalagmites" = "Stalag 17" = way UP in Russia!

06-07-2002, 07:09 AM	#19
Oolon Colluphid Contributor Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Alibi: ego ipse hinc extermino Posts: 12,591	Ti(gh)ts come down! Erm, do you Americans call 'em tights? Oolon

06-07-2002, 07:14 AM	#20
gallo Regular Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Houston, TX, US Posts: 244	Awesome effort, IesusDomini <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> However, I think that the spelling was much too good and you didn't use caps a single time. Those two points meant that it didn't ring true for me. By the way, isn't a "xylemphloem" some sort of musical instrument? [ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: gallo ]</p>

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