Pyrrho

It is perfectly simple. You already have a model for that. Just like you read "stuff" and your husband reads "facts", you are "obsessed" and he is "dedicated". Get the pattern?

KitKit

hmmmm, i'm not liking the looks of this "pattern".

Zora

Hi KitKat,

I moved to a religion saturated area a few years ago, and since have become more immersed in my atheism than ever before. I am so sick of the "under God" debate its pitiful. I am sick of the religious garbage kicked up by the war....and sick of people trying to make me feel less American, less patriotic, less intelligent, and less valuable because of a lack of religion. Consequently, I have become more aggressive in my expression of disbelief. I have two friends that talk about their churches when we three are together. That's rude, since they know I am not a believer and cannot enter into their conversation. So, when the God issue comes up (they make occasional references to the God thing) I throw a comment in there, too. You must have facts and specific examples to tell them, or you "don't know what you're talking about." So, research is necessary.

If the reading/research is making you feel bad, then I'd guess its an obsession. If talking about it is making your husband uncomfortable, it just means he isn't as interested as you are. (Mine isn't, either, and can't see why I'm so irritated by the newspapers, etc.) It is frustrating to know that religion is never going to go away...but helpful to know that the rise in fundamentalism will probably cause more irreligion than it will cure. Remember, evolution is a slow process. I read somewhere there were about 2000 atheists in the US in 1900. Look how far we've come, through obsesses people, mostly!

christ-on-a-stick

KitKit said, and Suzanne*Atheist replied This brings up an excellent point that I immediately wanted to address upon reading the OP because I too have been on the receiving comments about my "obsession" with topics of religion. My response to this has been for a couple reasons:

One of the "accusers" was my ultrafundy biological mother who attends church no less than 4 times weekly as well as volunteering at the church twice a week, til just recently had a job with a religious organization and does nothing but read her bible and pray the rest of the time. Literally.

So that's an extreme example, but the other person who has made comments (although pretty casual) is my husband, who is NOT religious, but essentially an extremely apathetic agnostic (doesn't believe but doesn't give it much thought either). So, he can't "relate" to my keen interest in these topics (which I think is obviously partially a result of my being steeped in religious indoctrination my whole life before realizing I'd been scammed).

He understood it better when I explained it in these terms; no-one would find it strange if, for instance, someone who had been abused as a child became, as an adult, extremely interested in child advocacy issues etc.... our life experiences affect the issues that we are passionate about.

Also, there are people who just think it's kind of "weird" because it's not something that's interesting to THEM. In their minds - their hobbies/pursuits/interests = fascinating! Of course! But yours = huh? Why is anyone so interested in *that* boring stuff?

I wouldn't call someone "obsessed" in a negative way unless their particular pursuit was affecting their life and relationships in a negative way (i.e. they are neglecting responsibilities etc.)

Pyrrho

This isn't the first time you've noticed this kind of pattern, is it?

Really, I think that if your interest doesn't interfere with doing the things you need to do, and if you still have other interests, I doubt it would properly qualify as an "obsession".

8of9

KitKit,

My husband called me obsessed, too. Over the past two years I have become very interested in researching religion, and I've gotten much more vocal about my atheism. I found the Secular Web after the GAMOW, and then spent every free moment reading articles and forums.

And, well, I got pretty obsessed. And I got pretty pissed at the world's religious pushiness. My brother (who claims to be Pagan) called me a "proselytizing atheist." That wasn't broadly accurate, but we had a long discussion and came to an agreement that I had been rude and insensitive a couple of times, over the years. All ancient history, and I figured I was more mature now.

So, when my husband ("no god, end of discussion") complained that my obsession was not just bugging him, but really making him dislike me, first I got defensive. Then I realized I should probably be concerned. We talked: he thought I was getting a distorted view of my world by focusing on one issue, and one (even if correct) point of view. I was always grumping about this or that religious interference in the world, and I really was a little depressed about how backwards, pervasive, and evilly powerful xianity is. And, he asked, if I wasn't obsessed, why wasn't I using any of my free time to work down my personal to-do list, or to get some exercise, sunshine, or relaxation?

I decided he was right. So, I cut back on my SecWeb time and put my religious reading list on hiatus. I'm consciously spending more time outside. I speak freely and with interest about religion and my atheism, and I spend a lot more time actually thinking through related philosophical and psychological issues, now that I'm not obsessed with gathering others' thoughts through reading.

It's nice to have an interest in religion that can coexist with other interests. I'm happier because I listened to my hubby on this.

So, on the one hand, you could tell Mr. Harley to shove it up his tailpipe. But on the other hand, he's probably the person who has the best pulse on your overall health and happiness.

That said, I'm gearing up for a 12-day immersion in a strictly (I mean, totally medieval) Catholic family - a visit with the in-laws, and a wedding mass, to boot! So I am doing a little pre-soak in atheist culture.

KitKit

well, i still comment on religion at least once a day to my husband. i mean he's my best friend, who else am i going to complain to about the craziness in the world? i thought for sure he was going to send me off to the insane asylum. (ok ok i've always been a bit over dramatic) anyhoo, i thought we'd at least have some issues when it came to what to teach our kids. he is agnostic, so i thought he didn't want me telling them there is no god. and i suppose i thought he might be leaning toward there being a god himself. but yesterday a comment he made totally put my mind at ease. i said "well, i left a message for clarice's mom that sydney is missing her & wants to get together to play, but she didn't call me back." his response blew me away "that's ok. she doesn't need to be hanging out with those religious freaks anyway." at first i thought it was a dig at me. but after a second i realized he meant it. seems like no matter how long you are with someone (12 years in our case) you learn new things about them all the time.