Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Kimpatsu · 05-27-2003, 11:15 PM

Quote:

You don't have to be a fairy to post on this site...

Hey, heterosexuals are welcome, too!

AquaVita · 05-28-2003, 11:57 AM

A sample of a post on one of the forums there...

Quote:

So I'm sitting at my desk at work, waiting for the scanner to finish up a batch of documents, doing a little research, and I get bored. So I decide to pull a bit of energy to me and just, you know, fool around with it. Juggle some, or see if I can make one of my co-workers say "Boy it's hot in here!" by lobbing it at them surruptisiously, that sort of thing.

So I lean back, close my eyes, center, picture myself and go to pull some energy. And before I can grab more than a couple drops, all of a sudden these two huge wings unfurl from my back. My eyes snap open, and even though I'd had troble keeping my head from hitting my keyboard all day, I'm wide a-effing-wake. A coworker wanders by, returns some material he borrowed, wanders out... I look around my shoulder. Nope, nothing growing out of my clavicle. I close my eyes again... and there are the hugest pair of shining, white wings I've ever imagined. Coming right outta my back. Big, substantial, dragon-y wings. Not much detail, I can't see scales or bones or anything.. but by golly, they're wings. I have *&@$! wings.

When I, like, try to flap them, they move really slow and I get this weird chill/shiver thing going through me. It's actually kind of a nice feeling....

But THEY'RE WINGS!

Ok, ok, calm back down.

I really really didn't sign up for this part. I mean, I had an inkling there was something a bit different about me, that's why I came here in the first place, but I was reading the info going "Wings? Bah, I don't have wings. Who'd want wings? Personally, I think people who say they have wings are a little... ya know...." And now I have wings. And not little dainty tinker-bell wings. I have BIG, HONKING, Slap-The-*&@!-Out-Of-Someone, Soar-Over-Gotham-City wings.

I'm really not quite sure how to handle this. As is probably patently obvious by now. Didn't I have to sign something somewhere before they could install wings on me?

People responded very calmly saying that this was to be expected when you first sprout your wings.

I....I'm not sure. Words fail me.

Calzaer · 05-28-2003, 12:11 PM

Quote:

I....I'm not sure. Words fail me.

You're not sure that's to-be-expected when someone sprouts wings?

AquaVita · 05-28-2003, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Calzaer
You're not sure that's to-be-expected when someone sprouts wings?

Not sure if it was ME taking the drugs, or them. Are these people serious?

Calzaer · 05-28-2003, 12:32 PM

AV: Here's a great line I found!

Quote:

it is not this place that has a nutball problem

That alone pegs the needle on my ironic-o-meter.

I have GOT to get the time to do a full-out deconstruction here. Maybe tonight. There's just so much material!

Azathoth · 05-28-2003, 02:48 PM

"I cast Magic Missile...at the darkness!"

Yggdrasill · 05-28-2003, 03:05 PM

I really want to play Changeling with these people! It would be a most interesting experience.

This is one of the more fascinating sites I have come across.

Azathoth · 05-28-2003, 07:51 PM

Well,they insist that they are not a LARPG,so they might take offense at that.

Of course,some may want to role play,and pretend that they are the creature they think they are.

For anyone who's interested,here's the MP3 of Dungeons and Dragons,from Dr Demento,which makes fun of people who overreact to this kind of thing.Fundies in particular.

There's a link to it on this site.

http://www.fantaseum.com/humor/showhumor.asp?rec_id=12

mecca777 · 05-28-2003, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Azathoth
"I cast Magic Missile...at the darkness!"

*snork*

"Can I have a Mountain Dew? I'm getting drunk! Are there any girls there?"

Queen of Swords · 05-28-2003, 11:45 PM

I like reading about fantastic species/races because that sometimes gives me ideas for my own writing, but this nonsense just gave me ideas for Nutwatching.

V�lurians are a race of beings

Being there, done that, thanks to the awesomeness of reincarnation.

who sent a small group to this world

A small group of what? Explorers? Convicts? Squirrels?

around five and a half thousand years ago under the belief that this was our original world.

Right away I get the impression that the author isn't sure of either 1. his grammar 2. his species 3. both.

For those of you who are scientifically minded, the only reason I can see why none of our skeletons were ever found is that there were only about twenty of us on this world at any given time, and we were spread throughout the world.

It's definite : the author is a V'lurian, or was a V'lurian, or perhaps there's no difference. V'lurians have an unusual appearance, too, unusual in that it's cobbled together from various animals without a hint of originality.

Picture a human in your mind�s eye. Give it membranous wings that should extend to about twice its height.

Call it Batman. Send in into Gotham City to fight evil.

Give it a long, almost serpentine tail.

Almost serpentine? Do you mean someone could almost make a nice purse out of it?

Put claws at the tips of its fingers and toes.

Manicure the claws and paint them Rose Petal Red. Your V'lurian Barbie is now ready for her senior prom!

Replace the head with a somewhat avian or reptilian head... and it is beaked at the tip, though the skin softens as you go back, becoming more of a lip from the middle back.

So when the V'lurian wants to eat, it just sits facing away from the table?

Two long horns sprout from the back and protrude straight back. These horns are the auditory receptors.

Perhaps they could also be the sound producers, and the V'lurian could blow through them for a rousing rendition of Bolero. Why, this is very midsummer madness. Still, I'd already started on a Nut for this week, so if Calzaer wants to have first crack at it, that would be fine. You're cool too, Calzaer.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

05-28-2003, 02:48 PM	#16
Azathoth Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The centre of infinity Posts: 1,181	"I cast Magic Missile...at the darkness!"

05-28-2003, 03:05 PM	#17
Yggdrasill Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kongsberg, Norway. I'm a: Skeptic Posts: 7,597	I really want to play Changeling with these people! It would be a most interesting experience. This is one of the more fascinating sites I have come across.

05-28-2003, 07:51 PM	#18
Azathoth Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The centre of infinity Posts: 1,181	Well,they insist that they are not a LARPG,so they might take offense at that. Of course,some may want to role play,and pretend that they are the creature they think they are. For anyone who's interested,here's the MP3 of Dungeons and Dragons,from Dr Demento,which makes fun of people who overreact to this kind of thing.Fundies in particular. There's a link to it on this site. http://www.fantaseum.com/humor/showhumor.asp?rec_id=12

05-28-2003, 11:45 PM	#20
Queen of Swords Contributor Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Canada. Finally. Posts: 10,155	I like reading about fantastic species/races because that sometimes gives me ideas for my own writing, but this nonsense just gave me ideas for Nutwatching. V�lurians are a race of beings Being there, done that, thanks to the awesomeness of reincarnation. who sent a small group to this world A small group of what? Explorers? Convicts? Squirrels? around five and a half thousand years ago under the belief that this was our original world. Right away I get the impression that the author isn't sure of either 1. his grammar 2. his species 3. both. For those of you who are scientifically minded, the only reason I can see why none of our skeletons were ever found is that there were only about twenty of us on this world at any given time, and we were spread throughout the world. It's definite : the author is a V'lurian, or was a V'lurian, or perhaps there's no difference. V'lurians have an unusual appearance, too, unusual in that it's cobbled together from various animals without a hint of originality. Picture a human in your mind�s eye. Give it membranous wings that should extend to about twice its height. Call it Batman. Send in into Gotham City to fight evil. Give it a long, almost serpentine tail. Almost serpentine? Do you mean someone could almost make a nice purse out of it? Put claws at the tips of its fingers and toes. Manicure the claws and paint them Rose Petal Red. Your V'lurian Barbie is now ready for her senior prom! Replace the head with a somewhat avian or reptilian head... and it is beaked at the tip, though the skin softens as you go back, becoming more of a lip from the middle back. So when the V'lurian wants to eat, it just sits facing away from the table? Two long horns sprout from the back and protrude straight back. These horns are the auditory receptors. Perhaps they could also be the sound producers, and the V'lurian could blow through them for a rousing rendition of Bolero. Why, this is very midsummer madness. Still, I'd already started on a Nut for this week, so if Calzaer wants to have first crack at it, that would be fine. You're cool too, Calzaer.

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.