dangin

And I've seen too many relationships fall apart without sex, or with disproportitionate sexual needs, desires, and expectations.

Make sure you are sexually compatible with anyone you choose to be with. I'm divorced once because of sex(it was one of the primary causes).

My brother and his wife are way off in their sexual needs and they are unhappy and fight a lot. He gets excited the week she is on her period so he has an excuse not to sleep with her.

My wife and I fight too(everybody does), but our sexual desire for each other curbs our anger, and clenses it from the relationship.

Have you ever heard, "don't buy a pig in a poke"?

When you get married to someone without testing your sexual compatibility that is just what you are doing.

But I encourage all devout christians to keep waiting until marriage. Your divorce statistics are too funny to mess with, I just hope you all can maintain these exceptionally high levels of marital dissatisfaction, purely for my amusement.

Pseudonymph

*snort*

Wow...


<img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

Wow...let me just restate that...wow.

You just made my day...

ManM

dangin,
Given that sex doesn't rank as a high priority for me, why would I be dissatisfied in a marriage with bad sex? It is like power seats in car. I really don't care too much about them, so why would I be dissatisfied if a car didn't have them?

[ October 17, 2002: Message edited by: ManM ]</p>

Ab_Normal

Another mutant! And this one's a guy!

As a member of a mixed marriage (my husband has a very active libido, and I seem to have traded mine in for better movie trivia skills ), I can testify that mismatches in sexual drive can be very damaging to a relationship. Our love and consideration for each other was all that got us through some very rough years.

From my experience, it is good to know before you marry if you and your partner are sexually compatible.

[edited to add - at least, I'm assuming ManM is a guy. My apologies if I'm wrong. Darn Internet and its total lack of gender clues.)

[ October 17, 2002: Message edited by: Ab_Normal ]</p>

ManM

Ab_Normal,
Now you see, I would place movie trivia skills far above sexual compatibility on my list of desirable traits in a spouse. But just like any other incompatibility, a difference in sexual appitite will only provide an opportunity to show my love. I really don't see a problem here. And yes, I'm male.

Glory

I know a couple that is breaking up over sexual incompatibility. She figured, when they married, that they would have sex about once a week while he wanted it more often. She thought the problem could solved by telling him that she had no expectation that he would be faithful to her. She still maintains that position to this day. The problem is that he doesn't want to screw around and does not care for hookers. He wants to have sex with his wife. This conflict has resulted in depression, substance abuse and ultimately, in them having no sex life at all. They are split up now and are both miserable. Wouldn't it have been nice if they had gone into the relationship with the self knowledge to recognise this potentiality?

Glory

ManM

You are mentioning these stories about sexual incompatibility, but missing one obvious solution: don't make sex such a big deal that it can make or break a relationship. Is everyone really that shallow these days?

[ October 17, 2002: Message edited by: ManM ]</p>

jasonpiao

Glory:
Here here!

Exactly. Marrying someone suggests a promise of fidelity. So you had better be sure you are both signing the same agreement, and for that matter you had both better 'read through' the agreement a couple times!
I think of sex (love/sex as opposed to just sex) as the closest two people can be to each other. If you can't be comfortable and honest, then you have found a fundamental flaw in your relationship. That at the most intimate level, you don't like what that person does, or you don't share the same enthusiasm or closeness. For whatever reason, you don't gel.
How could you enter a relationship without having ensured that when you are at your most 'real' and natural, you are still in love?
Yes, a lot of people will say, 'That isn't the most important thing to me'. I say: that works for you, good. But that to me sounds like more of a business compromise than true love. " I love him/her, I just don't want to be intimate with him/her"...???
Sort of like, I love capitalism, it's the exploitation I don't believe in.

[ October 17, 2002: Message edited by: jasonpiao ]</p>

Ted Hoffman

Sex CAN make or break a relationship. Which planet are you from?

Ab_Normal

Sex does seem to be very important to other folks. That's why I used the word "mutant" in my post above to refer to those of us to whom it isn't that significant.