Ennazus

I'm with you MollyMac! A friend called to check on my yesterday and tried to conclude the conversation with, "You're in my prayers". I replied, "That's nice, but what I really need is a ride to the store." Guess what? My atheist mother came by later to take me.

spurly

I think you would have loved the church in the first century. They prayed, but they also loved. They did everything they could to meet every need they could. They allowed God to use them as his tools - as his hands and feet. And the watching world was attracted to the Christ of Christianity in droves. If his people love like that, how great must his love be.

Kevin

Secular Pinoy

I'm reminded of something I read a while back: (paraphrased) A prayer and a few bucks buys you a burger, and a prayer and two aspirins takes care of your headache.

Ponder that.

brighid

I do think people who say that they will pray for you are genuinely trying to be kind, as it gives them comfort to pray for you (a completely bio-chemical response identical to a meditative response), and they feel comfort when someone says the same to them. They actually believe that prayer works, so they think they are doing something really wonderful by asking their God to help you (and being omnipotent he should already know you are suffering … but that is besides the point.) I also find the phenomena of mass prayer interesting as well. It seems some feel the more people who pray for a person, the more likely God will hear and be literally bribed (although a theist doesn’t see in that way) into helping someone.

It would be beneficial if people were taught that more “prayers” would be answered if they followed prayer with action every time. If you pray to a God to help Sally Joe down the street recover from leukemia then you should write to your Congress Person to support Stem Cell Research, go to your local blood bank or testing facility and have your bone marrow tested for a match with Sally or another ill person, and perhaps even ask her or her family if there is anything they need help with: yard work, house cleaning, grocery shopping, or the like. Imagine if ALL those people who prayed also took action (and not just the few who do?) Or better yet imagine if people just took action and invested the time and energy spent praying to work toward peace, cures, eradicating poverty, etc.? (Of course there are many people who do this, but if all of Christendom did more then pay lip service and tithing I think things would be vastly better.) Instead of sending their money to TV evangelists and Churches who will have to use it to silence victims of abuse, they simply gave it directly to the actual need, sick, indigent people? If only ....

Brighid

Shadowy Man

Just say:

"Please don't pray for me. It gives me diahrrea."

And be very serious about it.

Amie

First of all: there was no indication in her OP that all of her friends "know she's an atheist"

Second of all: how exactly does prayer "hurt ones feelings"?? thats just silly! Even if someone told me they were praying to Zeus, Allah, blue trolls, whatever, I would take it as a kind gesture on their part. regardless of the fact I don't share their beliefs I know they are wishing me well and would take it as such.
Its a nice gesture no matter what one believes.
sigh I gotta go work...

Salmon of Doubt

I don't see it as a nice gesture at all. I see it as a pointless insulting exercise that someone would do in order to absolve themselves of having to do anything practical.

If they want to pray for me in private AND help me out, then fine, but I would see anyone TELLING me they were praying for me as an attempt at evangelising, as everyone is aware I am an atheist.

brighid

Amie

It may seem silly to you that someone would be offended by a statement such as, “I will pray for you” but it is not silly for someone to be offended by it given their unique set of circumstances. It is true that from the OP it is impossible to discern that everyone would know Suzanne is in fact an atheist, but neither is it discernable that everyone does not in fact know this to be true either. However, given Suzanne**Atheists overt user moniker it is a probable assumption that some (or even the people in question) would likely know she is an atheist, but we will have to wait for confirmation form Suzanne.

Would you be offended if let’s say a Wiccan said he/she would cast a spell (similar to Catholic prayer), dedicated to a Pagan God or Goddess for your quick recovery, especially since the use of magic is against your religious faith (given she likely knew that you are indeed a Christian?) Perhaps you would not be offended at first, but after you have told said acquaintance/friend that spell casting is against the teachings of your faith and you would appreciate it if he/she did not cast a spell or say a prayer to his/her Gods for you AND then he/she continued to either spell cast or pray for you … wouldn’t you feel either a bit offended or even disrespected, even if he/she proclaims good intentions are that are had? Wouldn’t you also potentially think it was silly that he/she was praying to God’s you believe do not exist?

Even try to think how you might feel if a well intentioned Muslim commented to you that he/she would pray to Allah that you would find your way to the True God, and accept Mohammed as the True Prophet of God and relinquish your false Prophet, Jesus. A Muslim might feel it is quite apparent that Allah is indeed God (just as the converse is true for the Christian and Jesus), and cannot understand why you would be offended these prayers, or comments. I doubt many Christians would not take some offense, or at least feel irritated by such things.

Good intentions are simply not enough if one’s actions knowingly, or unwittingly offend another. The later is easily forgiven and understood, but the former is disrespectful.

If you know someone is a Jew, is devout and keeps kosher it would be insulting to offer him a bacon cheeseburger, or attempt to visit during the Sabbath. It could be offensive to ask a Protestant to pray to a Catholic Saint for any reason, or even say that you will pray to a given Saint for a specific outcome (given the diverging nature of Protestant and Catholic belief on this.) It is only natural to conclude that someone who does not believe in Gods would be annoyed, or even offended by those (well intentioned or not) who say they will pray to a version of the Christian deity on the behalf of an atheist.

I generally disregard that casual statement as I think many people say it without thinking about it first, but for those who do in fact know I am an atheist I take issue with it if it becomes a problem.

I hope that helps you understand a bit better why some take offense to such comments.

Brighid

BreezySheezy

THAT WAS FUNNY SHADOWY MAN!! I REALLY NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH.

Godless Dave

Regarding the bacon analogy, I think telling an atheist you are praying for them is more like eating a piece of bacon in front of an observant Jew or drinking a beer in front of an observant Muslim. To offer them the piece of bacon would be to ask the atheist to pray with you. I wouldn't be offended if someone said they were praying for me. I would feel sorry for that person, but what they believe is no skin off my nose.