Freethought & Rationalism Archive

sakrilege · 07-19-2003, 04:39 AM

From a church sign...

Let's see, god created me with original sin, banned me from paradise because of 2 bites from an apple that I never saw, and condemns me for eternity because he has decided to work in mysterious ways. Now how should I serve him??

Kenneth · 07-19-2003, 05:39 AM

ok...this god is a jealous god. I should also be a jealous lover. Je isn't talking to me, so he is talking to someone else. God Dammit, that dirty bastard is two-timing me.

id.s · 07-19-2003, 01:58 PM

Since his job as gOD is over when he banned us from the garden, lets treat him like the bum he is and throw him a quarter now and then . Tell him you'll give him a dingle if you ever need anything and walk away. Oh, and tell him to switch off the power in the flaming sword at the east gate of eden,as it is a waste of energy.

safeinacell · 07-19-2003, 02:38 PM

Ok,I'll reciprocate all of gods service to me.

(Sods off and makes himself a coffee)

Melange_Thief · 07-19-2003, 04:49 PM

You mean, he's not doing anything in your lives?!? I swear, he's trying to ruin me! I feel that the time is right to sack heaven. Besides, Valhalla is better anyways.

ROMANI ITE DOMUM

Entropic_Gnosis · 07-19-2003, 05:46 PM

I'd serve god in a marsala cream sauce with roasted garlic, porccini mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, and angle hair pasta.

PopeInTheWoods · 07-21-2003, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Entropic_Gnosis
I'd serve god in a marsala cream sauce with roasted garlic, porccini mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, and angle hair pasta.

What?!? No fava beans or chianti?

Edited to add that it's pretty amusing to misspell "angel hair" in a recipe for god....

braces_for_impact · 07-21-2003, 10:53 AM

A church near where I live has a sign which says "Your life is lost without Jesus." I plan to sneak down there in the wee hours of the morning and remove the "out".

Condescending bastards.

catmar · 07-23-2003, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by braces_for_impact
A church near where I live has a sign which says "Your life is lost without Jesus." I plan to sneak down there in the wee hours of the morning and remove the "out".

Condescending bastards.

Don't forget to take pictures and bring them here. I would love to see that!

07-19-2003, 04:39 AM	#1
sakrilege Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cleveland, OH, USA Folding@Home Godless Team Posts: 6,211	"Serve god as he has served you" From a church sign... Let's see, god created me with original sin, banned me from paradise because of 2 bites from an apple that I never saw, and condemns me for eternity because he has decided to work in mysterious ways. Now how should I serve him??

07-19-2003, 01:58 PM	#3
id.s Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: VICTORIA B. C. CANADA Posts: 206	What gOD wants Since his job as gOD is over when he banned us from the garden, lets treat him like the bum he is and throw him a quarter now and then . Tell him you'll give him a dingle if you ever need anything and walk away. Oh, and tell him to switch off the power in the flaming sword at the east gate of eden,as it is a waste of energy.

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07-19-2003, 05:39 AM	#2
Kenneth Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: PROC Posts: 206	ok...this god is a jealous god. I should also be a jealous lover. Je isn't talking to me, so he is talking to someone else. God Dammit, that dirty bastard is two-timing me.

07-19-2003, 02:38 PM	#4
safeinacell Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 304	Ok,I'll reciprocate all of gods service to me. (Sods off and makes himself a coffee)

07-19-2003, 04:49 PM	#5
Melange_Thief Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Bellingham, WA, Cascadia Posts: 248	You mean, he's not doing anything in your lives?!? I swear, he's trying to ruin me! I feel that the time is right to sack heaven. Besides, Valhalla is better anyways. ROMANI ITE DOMUM

07-19-2003, 05:46 PM	#6
Entropic_Gnosis Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: The Library Posts: 372	I'd serve god in a marsala cream sauce with roasted garlic, porccini mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, and angle hair pasta.

07-21-2003, 10:53 AM	#8
braces_for_impact Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: In a nondescript, black helicopter. Posts: 6,637	A church near where I live has a sign which says "Your life is lost without Jesus." I plan to sneak down there in the wee hours of the morning and remove the "out". Condescending bastards.

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