Jamie_L

This is annecdotal, so take it for what it's worth. However, I have seen it enough times to make me scratch my head and wonder, "what's going on here?"

I have known several women who started having regular sexual relations around 12 or 13. They did so consentually, with others their same age. All of these women seemed to have had sexual-related self-esteem issues later in life, and seemed to end up with some adult hang-ups about sex and sexual relations.

I've also known guys who had early, regular sex who develop an equally warped sense of sexuality, a very aggressive, almost predatory (in the social, not criminal sense) sexual attitude towards women.

I'm not sure which came first, the sex or the self-esteme issues. I'm not sure which direction the causation arrow points in these correlations, or if there's another causal factor out there I'm not aware of. But as I said, it's made me scratch my head and wonder why I've encountered this correlation between early sexual behavior and adult sexual/psychological problems.

As such, I am leary of kids having regular sexual relations before they are emotionally mature. But I couldn't give a good reasoned arguement at this time.

Jamie

Daleth

Fr. Andrew, how can we answer a question honestly if we first remove several real risks? In any direction it takes them? Well, no. Removing the risks you've singled out, I'll add that there are certain places where crayons and matchbox cars shouldn't go. I'll add as well that kids are not known for their compassionate treatment of other kids, and letting them follow "any direction their curiousity takes them" assures that some kids will get hurt.

As this may relate to "intergenerational sex," those rules should have nothing to do with what we allow children to experiment with and everything to do with what we allow adults to do. It's plainly true that different children will have different reactions to different forms of CSA, but that is only relevant to how children should be treated after experiencing CSA, not to how adults should be treated for enganging in it.

Loren Pechtel

Originally posted by Fr.Andrew
(Fr Andrew): That's why I added the caveat about opportunistic pedophiles. What other risks do you see?

You can simply have someone more used to manipulating even when they are the same age. I don't see young sexual contact as inherently wrong but it's an area where great caution must be exercised to ensure it's consensual and responsible.

(Fr Andrew): What's that?

Like for abortion laws in some states: You go before a judge and convince him that you know what you're doing, the situation is ok.

Loren Pechtel

I would rather suspect that there is a third factor--something screwed up sexually in their development.

Ronin

For those interested in re-visiting this topic and potential tangents, please review the links I've provided here

Fr.Andrew

(Fr Andrew): I would suggest another. Trying to balance their sexual experimentation, against socio-religious condemnation for such acts.

dangin

No, as much as it pains me to say it, there has to be more than socio-religious condemnation. There is no doubt that religiously instructed people have issues with sex that make them the root of many social-sexual problems. Yguy's attitude towards homosexuality demonstrates that here in these threads.

But once the package is off the toy, there is no making the toy new again. Early teen virgins are apprehensive about their first sexual encounter. But early teens with sexual experience are far more likely to engage in sex again, with less mental resistance of any sort.

The same is true of drinking and drugs.

From the point sexual behavior starts, their is no point is saving one's self anymore. Girls who lose their virginity to a father, uncle, or other family member (in my experience) often want a man of their own choosing (since the first one wasn't) to have sex with on their own terms.

And, Fr. Andrew, if the focus of your attacks is going to be religious people. Why don't you leave us alone, and take this to religious boards. They are really easy to find, and you'll only get banned from 95% of them in the first hour.

Fr.Andrew

(Fr Andrew): You're disingenuous as well as belligerent. You know as well as I do that the your final paragraph was a personal attack.

In any case, I have said time and again (I really thought you'd kept up):
a) I am not interested in sex with children.
b) I have no use for abusers, molesters or rapists
c) I do not advocate intergenerational sex

I've been posting and lurking on IIDB since it was one forum moderated by Jay The Obscure. By and large, they (the moderators added over the years) are good people, full of patience and not inclined to the juvenile hostility you display. I'm not surprised that you are the target of complaints...and I'm not surprised that you take pleasure in that. I am surprised that IIDB still allows you to represent them as a moderator.

With respect to you objections to my posting the thread--I am not asking the question of children, I'm asking it of adults. I do it in hopes of educating some of them.
If you think it's a foolish thread, there's nothing keeping you here.

dangin

But they don't always hurt kids. In fact some kids like it.

But I have studies that say it helps some people. Studies to the contrary be damned.

Your question in the OP is ABOUT child sexuality. If you are being genuine it should be about adults screwing up kids. In the very least you are fishing for someone to attack your idea that kids are sexual creatures so that you can lay into them and find justification for . . . something.

But I repeat my recent statement. Your problem is with the religious. Why not take this to them?

I'd also like to hear the criticisms of anyone who thinks I am treating Fr. Andrew unfairly. Someone start a complaint thread about me for this. I think I am totally within the boundaries here. Particularly with the excellent litany of history that Ronin has done such a service to provide.

Fr.Andrew

(Fr Andrew): I hate to see anyone in pain. I haven't said that socio-religious condemnation is the only reason behind the guilt and shame experienced by some people for their youthful sexual experimentation. I think it's high on the list, but I don't know if it's the only reason.

(Fr Andrew): I'm not attacking religious people, silly--I'm attacking religion. And it's a moral issue, best I can tell. Usually, it's hard to separate the two. I think I'm in the right place.
But again, if I'm bothering you, you don't have to read my posts.
Or you can complain about me to a moderator.