Freethought & Rationalism Archive

unicornianist · 08-15-2005, 02:16 PM

I do not think that children have a moral obligation to assist their parents. Children do not owe their parents anything. They were not consulted in their upbringing. Any parent that thinks their child owes them something was parenting for the wrong reasons. We parent our children because we choose to. We should raise our children in a manner in which they will choose to want us around and even perhaps offer us assistance when we do need it. If you do not raise your children so that they might want to step in and help you out, then you've reaped what you've sown.

My mother is one who has reaped what she has sown. She was a terrible mother and continues to be a terrible mother and grandmother. She has lost the respect of most of her 6 children. I felt trapped for a very long time and very conflicted when I believed that I should "honor" my mother. I did it out of a feeling of obligation and hated every moment and allowed my mother to take advantage of me. Once I realized that I did not have to "honor" my mother, my life got much better and I was no longer torn and conflicted and felt much peace in regards to my relationship with her.

I feel no obligation to help my mother in any way, shape, or form. I do not feel obligated to help my father, but I would help him out if he needed help because I would WANT to help him. He is a good person and has earned my respect and therefore, I WANT to be there for him when he needs me.

Ms. Siv · 08-17-2005, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hinduwoman

Ms Siv,
since parents brought us into this world it is their moral obligation to look after us.

Like I said "look after" can mean barely enough to keep you alive or much more. At what point does it turn from mere obligation to nice-ness ?

Quote:

Yeah, I agree that I would look after my parents because I love them; but not because they are simply my parents.

Remember Karna!

Well, lets leave Hindu mythology out of it ... but often, one of the factors for love is a form of gratitude for a nice childhood.

Ms. Siv · 08-17-2005, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Sawyer

I think when people talk about an obligation to one's parents, they're generally talking about parents who spent years of their lives raising and caring for them. Parents that walked away from the kids aren't owed any obligations whatsoever.

It's hard raising kids and the people who do it deserve some respect as a result, but those who left during the difficult part and now want to come back into the kid's life now that the hard part is done and still be recognized as parents because they were glorified sperm donors aren't owed anything at all.

Good point.
Like I told hinduwoman earlier, care for them because you've grown to love them over the decades ... and not merely because you share 50% of your genes with them.

premjan · 08-17-2005, 04:25 AM

If you are the loving kind, loving them just because they are your parents, is not considered a bad thing, however....

08-15-2005, 02:16 PM	#31
unicornianist Regular Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Sacramento, CA region Posts: 209	A Moral Obligation, no... I do not think that children have a moral obligation to assist their parents. Children do not owe their parents anything. They were not consulted in their upbringing. Any parent that thinks their child owes them something was parenting for the wrong reasons. We parent our children because we choose to. We should raise our children in a manner in which they will choose to want us around and even perhaps offer us assistance when we do need it. If you do not raise your children so that they might want to step in and help you out, then you've reaped what you've sown. My mother is one who has reaped what she has sown. She was a terrible mother and continues to be a terrible mother and grandmother. She has lost the respect of most of her 6 children. I felt trapped for a very long time and very conflicted when I believed that I should "honor" my mother. I did it out of a feeling of obligation and hated every moment and allowed my mother to take advantage of me. Once I realized that I did not have to "honor" my mother, my life got much better and I was no longer torn and conflicted and felt much peace in regards to my relationship with her. I feel no obligation to help my mother in any way, shape, or form. I do not feel obligated to help my father, but I would help him out if he needed help because I would WANT to help him. He is a good person and has earned my respect and therefore, I WANT to be there for him when he needs me.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

08-17-2005, 04:25 AM	#34
premjan Obsessed Contributor Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 61,538	If you are the loving kind, loving them just because they are your parents, is not considered a bad thing, however....

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.