beth

It was wrong for you to claim the tip, but I don't think that you should tip for a coke, sorry. Anyway, that woman was a cheepo for only leaving a buck tip for a pitcher of beer. I always leave a couple of bucks for just a mixed drink, a pitcher should have been at least a three to five dollar tip.

I often get freebees for tipping well. If you leave a large tip in the beginning, the bartender usually hooks you up, or at least that's what my husband says...seems to be true.

Non-praying Mantis

But the above scenario that I outlined, the bellboy is technically extorting the customer. If the customer does not tip him, and he expects one, then the bellboy might feel free to do harmful things to the customer's possesions. This is extortion!

The problem with this is that both the tipper and the tippee have different ideas as to what is a fair tip amount.

Another problem is exactly which service jobs do you need to tip to prevent possible extortion?

NPM

EarlFlynn

It was wrong to appropriate the woman's tip. The goodwill she should have received from the bartender was misdirected to Nathan.

I had a very uncomfortable tipping situation two days ago. My girlfriend and I went out to a popular Italian place, and the waitress was openly hostile from the moment we arrived. Her body language, eye-rolling, and so on made it evident that she saw us as some kind of horrible burden. When my girlfriend's aunts asked for separate cheques, for example, she rolled her eyes and said "Are you happy now?" Holy crow! I've wracked my brains trying to figure out why she was so angry at us, and I can't think of a single reason.

The food, on the other hand, was excellent, and the waitress became more polite as the evening progressed. I wanted to leave a tip; my girlfriend disagreed. She was paying the tab on this occassion, so she got her way. And I have to admit, this was one of very few occassions where I actually would have considered stiffing the waitress, had I been the one paying the bill.

But now I'm afraid of going back to that restaurant, lest psycho waitress gob in our food or take a some even more insidious form of revenge. So maybe our tipping culture has some fundamental flaws. I tend to be a generous tipper, mostly out of sympathy for the low wages service workers receive, but the practice does seem to encourage some potentially uncomfortable situations. Personally, I'd rather see them get paid more; I'd gladly pay a higher price for the meal if I didn't have to worry about the potential consequences of a tip, or lack thereof.

Non-praying Mantis

What's more is that waitress probably thinks she deserves a good tip for that evening!

NPM

Gawdawful

True story:

Our wedding anniversary is the same day as my parent's anniversary. My parents were there for a visit during that time and we all went out to eat at a nice steakhouse that evening. We were seated at a nice secluded table, but were in the same area as a large group of suit wearing businessmen. Our waiter was the absolute worst, it took 30 minutes for him to take our drink order, our food didn't come for 45 minutes after ordering and it was cold, an indication of how long it had been waiting to be brought out, and we never did get a drink refill. Meanwhile the jerk waited hand and foot on the businessmen. When I paid the check by credit card I didn't leave a tip. That jerk followed me out into the parking lot and said "You didn't leave a tip and I depend on tips to make a living." I quickly snapped back at him, saying, "Maybe you ought to find another way to make a living." He's lucky I didn't smash his face for accosting me the way he did, grabbing me by the arm. I instead marched right back into the restaurant and talked to the manager about what had just transpired. As far as I know the waiter was fired that night. Good riddance to bad rubbish. What a jerk.

Warren in Oklahoma

Sirris

I find the wide array of opinions held here on the subject of tipping fascinating. On the whole, iidb seems to be populated by people of above-average intelligence. Yet we have quite a disagreement on the idea of paying someone for a service they have rendered to you.

The institution of tipping doesn't seem that complicated to me, but I could very well be wrong. I am of the impression that tipping exists to let someone know they did a good job, or that you are at least happy with their service. That person may be a bartender or a waiter, a bellhop, a tattoo artist or an Einstein's Bagels employee. The idea behind a tip is still, "Hey, thanks, you did a good job." I understand that if that was the entire case, then the words "Hey, thanks, you did a good job," would be perfectly acceptable in the place of a tip, which of course is not the case. When you give someone a tip, you are recognizing that they work hard for a small amount of money, and depend upon your generosity. Whether or not you agree with that system, that is how the system is, and to not tip someone simply because you feel the system is wrong is an injustice to the poor soul who is serving you.

I agree with some posters that it isn't right to tip people simply because that is what society pressures us to do. That invalidates the whole idea of tipping as recognition for a job well done. Ironically though, many service employees come to expect tips in return for their service, regardless of the quality of the service they rendered. And a large amount of the populace seems ignorant of how to tip correctly. These two issues are the problems with the institution of tipping. I would not tip a waiter or waitress that did an exceptionally lousy job simply because I am expected to tip 10, 15, 20% or whatever. And I think it would be wrong of that waiter/waitress to be upset (which he/she would undoubtedly be) at my lack of a tip. But I am aware that that poor waiter/waitress is making $2.13/hr (which I believe is the standard rate for a server in most places) and in not tipping him/her I am significantly reducing his/her income. And I can safely assume that some fool is going to tip him/her 3% on a $50 bill later that day, so is it wrong of me not to tip despite the lousy service? I can see both sides of the picture, and maybe that is why we have such a wide array of opinions on the subject of tipping. Some people tip well regardless of the service they receive, others tip poorly even if they receive exceptional service.

I apologize for the preceding rambling but I find the subject of tipping fascinating. In regards to this specific thread, I agree with the general consensus that it would be wrong to mislead someone into believing that you gave them a tip that was from someone else, because you would then be receiving any of the benefits that may have gone to that other person for tipping. In regards to someone spitting in your food if you previously left them a bad tip, I believe that is simply wrong. While I think it's foolish to allow a person who gave you bad service to wait on you again (if you must return to that restaurant, simply request to not be seated in that person's section) I don't believe that you recognizing they did a bad job means they can "punish" you by ruining your food. Warrenly: I think you certainly could stiff a server who did poorly and give a tip to the cook who made you an excellent meal, but keep in mind that the cook is making ~$10/hr while the server is making 1/5 of that. And I have also observed that if you tip well in the beginning, you will be rewarded by the person you are generous to. That's just good karma.

All in all I feel it is the differing opinions of when to tip well and when not to tip that make this such a difficult subject for both the tipper and the one being tipped. But those are just my ramblings! Thanks for reading!

SimplyAtheistic

A server would not make below minimum wage. So 2.13$ an hour is illegal and should be reported.
Jake

Shadowy Man

Great story, by the way.

So, he says he depends on tips to make a living. I do believe that a tip is still a gratuity. Therefore, he depends on gratuities for a living. He is admitting that he is a professional beggar. QED


When I was in grad school I used to feel a little awkward giving tips to people who most likely made more money than I did.

Rational BAC

I think that the European way is best.

Add on a 15% service fee (whether service was good lousy or indifferent, the food got in your mouths did it not?) If you did not like the basics of getting food into your mouth ----then don't go back to that restaurant --plain and simple. And if an employee provides such lousy service that it becomes obvious to everyone (which it will eventually) then that employee gets fired. All so simple really.

OK-------after that service fee which everyone should have to pay no matter what-------then you can add a real tip if you want to for whatever amount you want to (How much?---I would say at most an extra 5% for above average service or an extra 10% for extraordinary service.---or really whatever you want to give)

But for the average meal with average service--------then the 15% included gratuity should be quite sufficient. The waiter or waitress should expect nothing extra on the table.

End of story. End of discussion.

The Other Michael

A case can be made that both servers and patrons should unite to strike a blow of freedom against the oppressor restaurant owner as both are being disadvantaged by the tipping process - the server by not being paid a fair wage for their efforts and the patron by being expected to pay more than a fair price for the meal, all so the owner can reduce their outlay.

Power to the lumpy proles! (Revolutionary rhetoric is so much fun).

But gaining the benefit of improved service by means of a deception (to drag things back to the OP) seems the wrong thing to do.

cheers,
Michael