Freethought & Rationalism Archive

auto-da-fe · 07-24-2003, 07:03 AM

The other day I was at a movie theater watching a movie (obviously). There was a guy a couple of rows in front of me talking on his cell phone. I politely leaned forward and said "Excuse me sir, but could you not talk on your cell phone"? "Shut up and mind your own business, punk", he replied. I was going to jump on him and beat him down, but then I looked down at my bracelet and thought "What WOULD Jebus do"?

So I lit him on fire and sent him to hell.

Anyone else got one?

phillyrp314 · 07-24-2003, 10:53 AM

pretty good...too bad that's from comedian Daniel Tosh who was on the Bob and Tom show this morning

auto-da-fe · 07-24-2003, 10:57 AM

That is exactly right, that is why I put it up here. I thought it was funny as hell, and wanted to see if we could come up with some more.

I am not creative enough to come up with jokes on my own, and when I do, even if I think they are funny, nobody else gets them.

NonHomogenized · 07-24-2003, 07:32 PM

OKay, so, I was hard at work, and I got thirsty. So, I went to the soda machine, put in my $1.25, pressed the button for Sierra Mist, and nothing came out. I went back to the counter to write a paid out to cover my lost money, when I remembered: what would Jesus do? So, I got a cup of water, went back to the soda machine, and cursed it, saying that it would never again deliver soda.

Then I poured my water on the outlet it was plugged into.
And the next day, when people walked by, lo and behold, the machine was dark, on the front was written "out of order".

Entropic_Gnosis · 07-24-2003, 08:02 PM

I was visiting a friend a while back and there was a car parked outside of the icecream place we had just left with a WWJD bumper sticker. However this was no ordinary WWJD sticker, when read in full it was Who Wants Jelly Doughnuts?

Belle · 07-25-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Entropic_Gnosis
I was visiting a friend a while back and there was a car parked outside of the icecream place we had just left with a WWJD bumper sticker. However this was no ordinary WWJD sticker, when read in full it was Who Wants Jelly Doughnuts?

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Buddrow_Wilson · 07-25-2003, 03:54 PM

I actually have that bumper sticker on my mini-refrigerator.

enemigo · 07-25-2003, 04:29 PM

I always liked this one:

What Would Jesus Do? Probably get his dumb ass nailed to a cross.

Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ · 07-25-2003, 06:54 PM

Who Would Jesus Do?

Probably a prostitute that had the same name as his mother.

Gawdawful · 07-26-2003, 10:12 AM

Where would Jesus do?

If he is polite, somewhere outside the house, in the outhouse perhaps?

Warren in OK

07-24-2003, 07:03 AM	#1
auto-da-fe Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: edge of insanity Posts: 1,609	Wwjd The other day I was at a movie theater watching a movie (obviously). There was a guy a couple of rows in front of me talking on his cell phone. I politely leaned forward and said "Excuse me sir, but could you not talk on your cell phone"? "Shut up and mind your own business, punk", he replied. I was going to jump on him and beat him down, but then I looked down at my bracelet and thought "What WOULD Jebus do"? So I lit him on fire and sent him to hell. Anyone else got one?

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07-24-2003, 10:53 AM	#2
phillyrp314 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 43	pretty good...too bad that's from comedian Daniel Tosh who was on the Bob and Tom show this morning

07-24-2003, 10:57 AM	#3
auto-da-fe Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: edge of insanity Posts: 1,609	That is exactly right, that is why I put it up here. I thought it was funny as hell, and wanted to see if we could come up with some more. I am not creative enough to come up with jokes on my own, and when I do, even if I think they are funny, nobody else gets them.

07-24-2003, 07:32 PM	#4
NonHomogenized Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: no longer at IIDB Posts: 1,644	OKay, so, I was hard at work, and I got thirsty. So, I went to the soda machine, put in my $1.25, pressed the button for Sierra Mist, and nothing came out. I went back to the counter to write a paid out to cover my lost money, when I remembered: what would Jesus do? So, I got a cup of water, went back to the soda machine, and cursed it, saying that it would never again deliver soda. Then I poured my water on the outlet it was plugged into. And the next day, when people walked by, lo and behold, the machine was dark, on the front was written "out of order".

07-24-2003, 08:02 PM	#5
Entropic_Gnosis Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: The Library Posts: 372	I was visiting a friend a while back and there was a car parked outside of the icecream place we had just left with a WWJD bumper sticker. However this was no ordinary WWJD sticker, when read in full it was Who Wants Jelly Doughnuts?

07-25-2003, 03:54 PM	#7
Buddrow_Wilson Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Arkansas Posts: 1,589	I actually have that bumper sticker on my mini-refrigerator.

07-25-2003, 04:29 PM	#8
enemigo Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: atlanta, ga Posts: 691	I always liked this one: What Would Jesus Do? Probably get his dumb ass nailed to a cross.

07-25-2003, 06:54 PM	#9
Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Heaven Posts: 6,980	Who Would Jesus Do? Probably a prostitute that had the same name as his mother.

07-26-2003, 10:12 AM	#10
Gawdawful Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: In a cardboard box under the viaduct. Posts: 2,107	Where would Jesus do? If he is polite, somewhere outside the house, in the outhouse perhaps? Warren in OK

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