Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Walross · 03-02-2003, 12:26 AM

My Mother was a default lapsed Catholic, if that makes any sense. I don't think I ever actually used the word "atheist" around her, but I was pretty comfortable discussing my skepticism about religion with her, so I suspect she knew.

My father is a bit of a tougher read. He and I have never communicated too much and he always went along with my Mom (eg, my sisters and I all went to Catholic school), but I think he really doesn't think much about it one way or other. If I really had to pin him down, I wouldn't be surprised to find out he has strong Deist tendencies. In any case, I was recently at a funeral with him and my sister. Afterwards I told them that if either of them is ever responsible for burying me, that I do not under any circumstances want all that "god talk" that we had just been subjected to. They both just nodded. It's just not that big a deal in my family.

Walross

JCS · 03-02-2003, 02:16 AM

My parents hardly ever attended church-(easter & xmas) but encouraged-(forced) me to go until I was confirmed. Their reason, "it won't hurt". I never attented a service after that and neither mom or dad ever mentioned it, until.....my oldest followed by my youngest offspring told them they are non-believers.

But since they never took into account my feelings on the subject at the time, I told them I refuse to hear theirs on the subject at this time or any time.

sakrilege · 03-02-2003, 06:32 AM

My mom was making a comment once about how she thinks all religion's gods are really the same (she's a practicing catholic) and wanted to know if I agreed. I said that I was an atheist. Her response was along the lines of 'Oh yes, you're a scientist' (I have degrees in physics) and was unphased. My dad died before I had figured out I was an atheist but I think he would have been quite a bit upset about it.

On a side note, of 6 children, my mother has picked my sister & myself as executers of her will since she trusts us the most to be fair. My sister & I are the least religious of the siblings.

sakrilege · 03-02-2003, 06:39 AM

My mom was making a comment once about how she thinks all religion's gods are really the same (she's a practicing catholic) and wanted to know if I agreed. I said that I was an atheist. Her response was along the lines of 'Oh yes, you're a scientist' (I have degrees in physics) and was unphased. My dad died before I had figured out I was an atheist but I think he would have been quite a bit upset about it.

On a side note, of 6 children, my mother has picked my sister & myself as executers of her will since she trusts us the most to be fair. My sister & I are the least religious of the siblings.

Jewel · 03-02-2003, 07:34 AM

My mom gets more fundy with every passing day and she knows I am an atheist. My entire family knows (as far as I know, anyway).

When I told my mom she got all teary eyed and said something to the effect of "I know I didn't force religion on you kids when you were growing up - I can see now I should have!". I still get the Where Did I Go Wrong speech every now and again.

It's really kind of strange; she never discouraged me from learning anything I wanted to learn when I was growing up. When I told her I wasn't going to church anymore (I was 10) she didn't push it. I don't think she got really religious until I was in my teens and she has gotten more and more religious as time has passed.

She's known since I was 10 that religion wasn't my thing. She's known since I was 17 that I did not believe in heaven or hell. Yet when I told her at 27 that I did not believe in god she short circuited.

However, she compartmentalizes pretty well because she also tells me much more often that I am the most level headed and compationate of all of my siblings. She also complements me on my intelligence pretty frequently.

She has trouble reconciling me with the Evil Atheist she hears about at church -- and that is a good thing indeed.

If my dad were alive he'd definately know. But I haven't seen him since I was 7 and he died when I was 11, so he never knew. I haven't a clue as to whether or not he was even the slightest bit religious.

Never · 03-02-2003, 08:01 AM

After deciding as a child that I didn't believe that crap, I simply ignored religion for about 40 years. Never told anyone I didn't believe, just kept my distance from the subject. As a result, both of my parents have passed away and we never discussed the subject. I am 100% sure my dad would take the news as a non-event. I do wish he was here to discuss it with though as I have a idea he probably did the same thing as me - didn't believe but never mentioned it. His mother would have had a fit! LOL! She's the one I would have been afraid to tell. My mom probably would be ok with it. Now that I've acknowledged it to myself, I did tell my husband - again total non-event - he's like ok, this subject is a little too deep for me.

Next time I'm alone with my brother I might bring it up. I'm 99.99% sure he feels the same way I do too, but I wouldn't dare mention it in front of his wife.

Sephiroth · 03-02-2003, 08:31 AM

Nope, my parents are super fundies. I'd either get disowned or yelled at alot (as they did when they found out I accepted Evolution). I haven't went to church for several years now so they probably know that I'm not religion's biggest fan, though.

GunnerJ · 03-02-2003, 08:57 AM

My dad, an "agnostic Christian" probably knows. Despite professing a vague faith in Christianity, he is very irreligious anyway, so it's not an issue.

My mom, a sometime hardline Catholic with liberal leanings, doesn't know, I think she just thinks I'm "lapsed" and "going through a phase" because I don't go to church. The thing is, religion is a lot more important to her family than it is to her, I think, and she spent a lot of time trying to raise me to be a good Catholic. I think it would crush her, that she'd think she was a total failure as a mother, if she knew the truth. It may be dishonest or disingenuous, but I just can't do that to her.

Strawberry · 03-02-2003, 11:59 AM

My parents know to some extent. They know I don't like church and my mom knows about my skepticism. I haven't used the a-word, but I think my disparaging remarks about religion make it pretty clear.

Monkeybot · 03-02-2003, 07:34 PM

My immediate family knows. My dad's an agnostic-type (I can never nail him down to a specific label, but he's a fine skeptic) and my mom's an increasingly religious Catholic (uh oh). Mom flipped out when I first told her, but now we just try to steer clear of religious topics and everything's fine. It actually hasn't impacted my relationship with her too severely, if at all; now that I'm grown and a little more mature, we're actually pretty good friends.

I'm proud to say I've helped "convert" my sister to atheism. She'd read and memorized chunks of "Atheism: The Case Against God" when she was 14 or so (I conveniently left it lying around for her

). I don't think she's come out yet, and I'm a little worried about when she does; I don't think Mom will react too well to having two hardcore atheist daughters.

I think only a few select members of my extended family know. Mom's side of the family is basically a gigantic clan of Catholics, so I tend to keep my mouth shut and go with the flow when I'm visiting. It doesn't really bother me since they're not super bible fundies or anything; on the contrary, it would probably be seen as extremely rude to blab about YOUR personal relationship with Jesus. For obvious reasons, I've never attempted this, but I think it would be a little too, well, Protestantlike for their tastes.

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03-02-2003, 12:26 AM	#11
Walross Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada Posts: 1,569	My Mother was a default lapsed Catholic, if that makes any sense. I don't think I ever actually used the word "atheist" around her, but I was pretty comfortable discussing my skepticism about religion with her, so I suspect she knew. My father is a bit of a tougher read. He and I have never communicated too much and he always went along with my Mom (eg, my sisters and I all went to Catholic school), but I think he really doesn't think much about it one way or other. If I really had to pin him down, I wouldn't be surprised to find out he has strong Deist tendencies. In any case, I was recently at a funeral with him and my sister. Afterwards I told them that if either of them is ever responsible for burying me, that I do not under any circumstances want all that "god talk" that we had just been subjected to. They both just nodded. It's just not that big a deal in my family. Walross

03-02-2003, 02:16 AM	#12
JCS Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: right over there Posts: 753	My parents hardly ever attended church-(easter & xmas) but encouraged-(forced) me to go until I was confirmed. Their reason, "it won't hurt". I never attented a service after that and neither mom or dad ever mentioned it, until.....my oldest followed by my youngest offspring told them they are non-believers. But since they never took into account my feelings on the subject at the time, I told them I refuse to hear theirs on the subject at this time or any time.

03-02-2003, 06:32 AM	#13
sakrilege Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cleveland, OH, USA Folding@Home Godless Team Posts: 6,211	My mom was making a comment once about how she thinks all religion's gods are really the same (she's a practicing catholic) and wanted to know if I agreed. I said that I was an atheist. Her response was along the lines of 'Oh yes, you're a scientist' (I have degrees in physics) and was unphased. My dad died before I had figured out I was an atheist but I think he would have been quite a bit upset about it. On a side note, of 6 children, my mother has picked my sister & myself as executers of her will since she trusts us the most to be fair. My sister & I are the least religious of the siblings.

03-02-2003, 06:39 AM	#14
sakrilege Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cleveland, OH, USA Folding@Home Godless Team Posts: 6,211	My mom was making a comment once about how she thinks all religion's gods are really the same (she's a practicing catholic) and wanted to know if I agreed. I said that I was an atheist. Her response was along the lines of 'Oh yes, you're a scientist' (I have degrees in physics) and was unphased. My dad died before I had figured out I was an atheist but I think he would have been quite a bit upset about it. On a side note, of 6 children, my mother has picked my sister & myself as executers of her will since she trusts us the most to be fair. My sister & I are the least religious of the siblings.

03-02-2003, 07:34 AM	#15
Jewel Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Northern Virginia, USA Posts: 1,112	My mom gets more fundy with every passing day and she knows I am an atheist. My entire family knows (as far as I know, anyway). When I told my mom she got all teary eyed and said something to the effect of "I know I didn't force religion on you kids when you were growing up - I can see now I should have!". I still get the Where Did I Go Wrong speech every now and again. It's really kind of strange; she never discouraged me from learning anything I wanted to learn when I was growing up. When I told her I wasn't going to church anymore (I was 10) she didn't push it. I don't think she got really religious until I was in my teens and she has gotten more and more religious as time has passed. She's known since I was 10 that religion wasn't my thing. She's known since I was 17 that I did not believe in heaven or hell. Yet when I told her at 27 that I did not believe in god she short circuited. However, she compartmentalizes pretty well because she also tells me much more often that I am the most level headed and compationate of all of my siblings. She also complements me on my intelligence pretty frequently. She has trouble reconciling me with the Evil Atheist she hears about at church -- and that is a good thing indeed. If my dad were alive he'd definately know. But I haven't seen him since I was 7 and he died when I was 11, so he never knew. I haven't a clue as to whether or not he was even the slightest bit religious.

03-02-2003, 08:01 AM	#16
Never Talk Freethought Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: OH Posts: 5,266	After deciding as a child that I didn't believe that crap, I simply ignored religion for about 40 years. Never told anyone I didn't believe, just kept my distance from the subject. As a result, both of my parents have passed away and we never discussed the subject. I am 100% sure my dad would take the news as a non-event. I do wish he was here to discuss it with though as I have a idea he probably did the same thing as me - didn't believe but never mentioned it. His mother would have had a fit! LOL! She's the one I would have been afraid to tell. My mom probably would be ok with it. Now that I've acknowledged it to myself, I did tell my husband - again total non-event - he's like ok, this subject is a little too deep for me. Next time I'm alone with my brother I might bring it up. I'm 99.99% sure he feels the same way I do too, but I wouldn't dare mention it in front of his wife.

03-02-2003, 08:31 AM	#17
Sephiroth Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Georgia, USA Posts: 625	Nope, my parents are super fundies. I'd either get disowned or yelled at alot (as they did when they found out I accepted Evolution). I haven't went to church for several years now so they probably know that I'm not religion's biggest fan, though.

03-02-2003, 08:57 AM	#18
GunnerJ Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: a place where i can list whatever location i want Posts: 4,871	My dad, an "agnostic Christian" probably knows. Despite professing a vague faith in Christianity, he is very irreligious anyway, so it's not an issue. My mom, a sometime hardline Catholic with liberal leanings, doesn't know, I think she just thinks I'm "lapsed" and "going through a phase" because I don't go to church. The thing is, religion is a lot more important to her family than it is to her, I think, and she spent a lot of time trying to raise me to be a good Catholic. I think it would crush her, that she'd think she was a total failure as a mother, if she knew the truth. It may be dishonest or disingenuous, but I just can't do that to her.

03-02-2003, 11:59 AM	#19
Strawberry Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lancaster, PA/Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 627	My parents know to some extent. They know I don't like church and my mom knows about my skepticism. I haven't used the a-word, but I think my disparaging remarks about religion make it pretty clear.

03-02-2003, 07:34 PM	#20
Monkeybot Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: North Carolina Posts: 8,102	My immediate family knows. My dad's an agnostic-type (I can never nail him down to a specific label, but he's a fine skeptic) and my mom's an increasingly religious Catholic (uh oh). Mom flipped out when I first told her, but now we just try to steer clear of religious topics and everything's fine. It actually hasn't impacted my relationship with her too severely, if at all; now that I'm grown and a little more mature, we're actually pretty good friends. I'm proud to say I've helped "convert" my sister to atheism. She'd read and memorized chunks of "Atheism: The Case Against God" when she was 14 or so (I conveniently left it lying around for her ). I don't think she's come out yet, and I'm a little worried about when she does; I don't think Mom will react too well to having two hardcore atheist daughters. I think only a few select members of my extended family know. Mom's side of the family is basically a gigantic clan of Catholics, so I tend to keep my mouth shut and go with the flow when I'm visiting. It doesn't really bother me since they're not super bible fundies or anything; on the contrary, it would probably be seen as extremely rude to blab about YOUR personal relationship with Jesus. For obvious reasons, I've never attempted this, but I think it would be a little too, well, Protestantlike for their tastes.

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