Freethought & Rationalism Archive

southernhybrid · 01-19-2003, 12:32 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by blondegoddess
[B]I am very assertive in most things in my marriage.

I'm glad to hear that. Sorry if I offended you by implying otherwise. Sometimes it's very hard to give advice or support without the benefit of being face to face.

I do have a few more thoughts on that subject but I'm afraid I might be making you feel overwhelmed so I'll leave it at that for now. If you're the type of person who would feel comfortable just going along with your husband and allowing your marraige to remain a religious one, that might be the best thing to do for now. In any case, it's up to you and you don't need anyone else's approval for any decision you make. I keep reminding you of that because as a former Xian woman, I know it's still proabably in your mind set not to put yourself first and that you must account to a higher source for your actions. You are that higher source now sweetie. Don't be afraid of it. Still, it's hard for a lot of people to leave their comfort zone and that's probably why you feel so ambivalent.

Take care of yourself blonde goddess.
If you decide to stay with us here, I look forward to seeing you again.

beth · 01-19-2003, 05:06 PM

Well, I read some of Vicar's very long thread. That is something. I've only gotten about a third of the way through, so I don't know the updates. But it sounds like a nightmare. i was tempted to say something today. But I don't think that would be very smart.

I do appreciate your advice Southernhybrid, I do not take offence to what you've said,. Apologies if I sounded defensive. I just think that when possible life changes may occur, they must be prepared for. I have to take everything into consideration and weigh all options. After all, I'm not the only one involved in this situation.

I do like this forum. I don't think that I would like to get involved in the debates, though. I am not quite that intellectual. It would say something for us if our marriage can survive this. I guess I'll find out by the end of this year...

Bubba · 01-19-2003, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by blondegoddess
You are wrong. I loved God. I worshipped Him with all of my heart. I was saved. I know I was, but I never felt the assurance of it. All my life, since hearing it from the preacher's pulpit, I knew I was destined for hell. If God had truly loved me, He would have let me feel His love. I cried out to Him desperately so many times. I asked him to change my heart. I even told Him I would be willing to be a martyr for Him. I loved Him that much. He isn't there.

Believe me I feel the same way. Right now I am VERY seriously considering deconverting and becming agnostic.

Chris

GunnerJ · 01-19-2003, 08:51 PM

Quote:

I do like this forum. I don't think that I would like to get involved in the debates, though. I am not quite that intellectual.

Lemme tell you something about the debates here: unless it's in BC&A, Philosophy, or the Formal Debates forum, your level of academic aptitude is rarely as big a deal as your ability to think clearly. Going in for a little rough and tumble with theists is a great way to build up rudimentary and even advanced debating, reasoning, and rhetorical skills. It's sort of like this: you can learn how to fight by paying an instructor, or learn by growing up on the streets. Joining a debate, either by defending a position or refuting one, is good first-hand experience.

never been there · 01-19-2003, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by blondegoddess
Look, I think I've misrepresented my husband. He isn't quite the brute I implied. He just wants what's best. He thinks that is Christianity.

OK, glad to hear that.

beth · 01-19-2003, 10:02 PM

One thing that is happening is that I'm truly beginning to appreciate the world more. It is truly amazing. I've always taken it for granted. I've enjoyed it, but I'd always taken it for granted that it was created by God. The more I read on evolution, the more I see the beauty. It's quite strange...

seebs · 01-19-2003, 10:42 PM

I have been agnostic forever; I just happen to be an agnostic who believes. The distinction between "belief" and "knowledge" is a useful one.

Giorgia · 01-19-2003, 11:56 PM

quote from Giorgia:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill is absolutely right -- it really hadn't occurred to me that being older than teenage, yet younger than mid-30's is an extremely tough age at which to be struggling with this particular life change. I'm wondering, are you sure "1987" isn't a typo?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:

Originally posted by blondegoddess
I'm sure it isn't. I, myself, am under thirty....but older than twenty-five.

Sorry to bring this up again, but, in the interest of accuracy: isn't 2003 less 1987 sixteen?

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by blondegoddess
One thing that is happening is that I'm truly beginning to appreciate the world more. It is truly amazing. I've always taken it for granted. I've enjoyed it, but I'd always taken it for granted that it was created by God. The more I read on evolution, the more I see the beauty. It's quite strange...

I'm so glad to read this! Yes, nature and science are truly wonderful if you take the time to look carefully at their complexity -- just examine something a "humble" as a snapdragon up close, and you'll be up-lifted -- without the flower putting a guilt-trip on you!
Keep up your steady progress towards your independent concept of yourself. I'm sure you've noticed already: this board is full of really nice, compassionate, and unjudgmental people -- so you're not stuck in cold isolation once you're quit of the church!

pescifish · 01-20-2003, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giorgia
Sorry to bring this up again, but, in the interest of accuracy: isn't 2003 less 1987 sixteen?

I believe Bill was quoting and referring to Slavik91 when remarking about the 1987 birthdate. I could be mistaken, however, since Slavik91's profile does not show his b-day (possibly removed since the reference was made.)

HelenM · 01-20-2003, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by blondegoddess
One thing that is happening is that I'm truly beginning to appreciate the world more. It is truly amazing. I've always taken it for granted. I've enjoyed it, but I'd always taken it for granted that it was created by God. The more I read on evolution, the more I see the beauty. It's quite strange...

I was glad to read that...because it means you're beginning to see that not everything wonderful is inextricably bound up with your former belief.

Which is something I think you needed to see, to get through this emotionally...

take care
Helen

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01-19-2003, 12:32 PM	#241
southernhybrid Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: heavenly Georgia Posts: 3,862	[QUOTE]Originally posted by blondegoddess [B]I am very assertive in most things in my marriage. I'm glad to hear that. Sorry if I offended you by implying otherwise. Sometimes it's very hard to give advice or support without the benefit of being face to face. I do have a few more thoughts on that subject but I'm afraid I might be making you feel overwhelmed so I'll leave it at that for now. If you're the type of person who would feel comfortable just going along with your husband and allowing your marraige to remain a religious one, that might be the best thing to do for now. In any case, it's up to you and you don't need anyone else's approval for any decision you make. I keep reminding you of that because as a former Xian woman, I know it's still proabably in your mind set not to put yourself first and that you must account to a higher source for your actions. You are that higher source now sweetie. Don't be afraid of it. Still, it's hard for a lot of people to leave their comfort zone and that's probably why you feel so ambivalent. Take care of yourself blonde goddess. If you decide to stay with us here, I look forward to seeing you again.

01-19-2003, 05:06 PM	#242
beth Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: where orange blossoms bloom... Posts: 1,802	Well, I read some of Vicar's very long thread. That is something. I've only gotten about a third of the way through, so I don't know the updates. But it sounds like a nightmare. i was tempted to say something today. But I don't think that would be very smart. I do appreciate your advice Southernhybrid, I do not take offence to what you've said,. Apologies if I sounded defensive. I just think that when possible life changes may occur, they must be prepared for. I have to take everything into consideration and weigh all options. After all, I'm not the only one involved in this situation. I do like this forum. I don't think that I would like to get involved in the debates, though. I am not quite that intellectual. It would say something for us if our marriage can survive this. I guess I'll find out by the end of this year...

01-19-2003, 10:02 PM	#246
beth Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: where orange blossoms bloom... Posts: 1,802	One thing that is happening is that I'm truly beginning to appreciate the world more. It is truly amazing. I've always taken it for granted. I've enjoyed it, but I'd always taken it for granted that it was created by God. The more I read on evolution, the more I see the beauty. It's quite strange...

01-19-2003, 10:42 PM	#247
seebs Contributor Join Date: May 2002 Location: Saint Paul, MN Posts: 24,524	I have been agnostic forever; I just happen to be an agnostic who believes. The distinction between "belief" and "knowledge" is a useful one.

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