Freethought & Rationalism Archive

SLD · 07-30-2003, 08:12 PM

Quote:

It was time for Father John's Saturday evening bath and young sister
Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels just the way
the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to
look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he
told her to, and pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday
night bath had gone. "Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've
been saved." "Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the
old nun.
"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him,
and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs
where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."
"Did he now," said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And
Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of
Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and
eternal peace and then Father John guided his Key of Heaven into my
lock."
"Is that a fact," said the old nun more evenly. "At first it hurt
terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often
painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with
ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."
"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's
Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"

SLD

Overgrowngoblin · 07-31-2003, 01:10 PM

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

Godot · 08-01-2003, 12:10 AM

A carload of nuns were driving down the road. All of a sudden, the Devil appeared menacingly on the hood. The nun driving got all flustered and shouted, "what should I do? What should I do?"
A wizened old nun sitting in the back seat leaned forward and advised "show him your cross. That should do it."
The driver leaned out the window, flipped the devil the bird and said "FUCK OFF! WE'RE NUNS!!!"

Worldtraveller · 08-01-2003, 04:35 AM

A man is driving on a business trip through Nevada and sees a sign by the side of the road that says "Holy Sisters of Revelation Bordello - 20 miles".

Well, he is overcome with curiosity and just has to check it out. So he follows the signs and pulls into a small dirt parking lot in front of what appears to be a small church.

He knocks on the front door, and an older woman, wearing a nun's habit answers. He isn't quite sure what to say, but she immediately says "If you want a fuck, it's $50"

Sounds good to him, so the nun takes his $50 and says, "follow the corridor down to the end, take a left, and straight through the last door."

The guy follows the directions, opens the door and steps through, only to realize he is now back outside in the parking lot.

He turns back to go in and discovers the door is locked. Then, he looks up and sees in big letters above the door....

"NOW YOU ARE FUCKED."

Cheers,
Lane

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07-31-2003, 01:10 PM	#2
Overgrowngoblin Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Shooting dice in a crater on the Moon Posts: 501	How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.

08-01-2003, 12:10 AM	#3
Godot Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Calgary Posts: 1,335	A carload of nuns were driving down the road. All of a sudden, the Devil appeared menacingly on the hood. The nun driving got all flustered and shouted, "what should I do? What should I do?" A wizened old nun sitting in the back seat leaned forward and advised "show him your cross. That should do it." The driver leaned out the window, flipped the devil the bird and said "FUCK OFF! WE'RE NUNS!!!"

08-01-2003, 04:35 AM	#4
Worldtraveller Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 7,834	A man is driving on a business trip through Nevada and sees a sign by the side of the road that says "Holy Sisters of Revelation Bordello - 20 miles". Well, he is overcome with curiosity and just has to check it out. So he follows the signs and pulls into a small dirt parking lot in front of what appears to be a small church. He knocks on the front door, and an older woman, wearing a nun's habit answers. He isn't quite sure what to say, but she immediately says "If you want a fuck, it's $50" Sounds good to him, so the nun takes his $50 and says, "follow the corridor down to the end, take a left, and straight through the last door." The guy follows the directions, opens the door and steps through, only to realize he is now back outside in the parking lot. He turns back to go in and discovers the door is locked. Then, he looks up and sees in big letters above the door.... "NOW YOU ARE FUCKED." Cheers, Lane

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