Dark Cobra

Directly conflicting with what someone said about me wanting my intellectual equal.

*sigh*

Immaculate Deception

Dark Cobra: intellectual equal = same interests and opinions


An outstanding example of critical and rational thinking

catalyst

You will never find one. You are looking for an exact match, and thankfully, no two people are ever exactly alike.

You need to get out and experiment more. Perhaps you could look for someone who is your rough biological equal, and work from there, or vice versa.

Either way, deciding in advance that you will never be happy with anyone is pretty much a self-fulfilling prophecy.

js_africanus

As opposed to any other emotion?! There's nothing particularly intellectual about denying your humanity. Indeed! quite the opposite is true. If you were nothing but a brain in a vat, you'd still be a human being with human feelings, desires, and drives. Denying that will not do you any good.

Dark Cobra

They don't need the same interests or opinions... they need to be as rational as me, yes, but they don't need to, say, be good at computers or like computer games.

I do understand that I wish for something that doesn't exist.

I suppose I associate love with those higher-up on the social ladder because the higher you are, the more likely you are to find a partner, and those at the bottom of the social latter usually don't seem to get into relationships.

And that's me. Not only that, as well, but I'm looking for a person who is just too rare.

scombrid

There are a lot of pathetic people out there then.

You sound like me 7-8years ago. I finally figured out (for me anyway) that a hell of a lot of the bitterness and frustration that I felt concerning my peers and dating was born of mortal fear of rejection. I only approached girls if I needed something regarding school, something business related, etc... because I was afraid that a girl would find out that this pathetic boy was attracted to them and I refused to give them that upper hand. I didn't realize at the time that people don't like it when you only talk to them when you need something. Even when not snobbish, that's how it'll be perceived. Mindless socializing is important to bonding with and even understanding people. Without it, all you ever see is their exterior.

I built up a wall in which I convinced myself that love only counted if it "just happenned" and that it wasn't "just happening" because:

1. I was too quirky but refused to change.

2. Only somebody like me would accept me and everybody was shallow, pop-culture oriented, MTV watchingi, GQ and GAP wearing zombies so nobody suitable was out there.

I can't tell you how to break that mindset but everybody isn't that shallow and even some stylish folks are plenty heady. Additionally, as you get older good people become increasingly tolerant of differences as long as you're pleasant to be around. I've got one ex that was just as into sports as me (waterskiing, bodyboarding, snowboarding, X-country skiing, mountainbiking, etc....) The only reason she dumped me was because she wants to travel and I want to sit tight and train to try to make the national team (she thought I spent too much time training as well). I never would have met her had I stayed locked in my cage but even as perfect as she seemed we were too divergent in our plans. You never know whether Ms. Perfect really is, and you'll be surprised by Ms. not so Ideal from time to time. My next prospect is nothing like my ex and not my expected type (skinny, vegan, likes movies and clubs...) but I've said to hell with it; she's cute, she's excedingly nice and fun to talk to, who cares if she can't run the mile in 6minutes I need to get to know her on a more intimate level before I reject her. I'm still scared shitless of being rejected myself.

I can't say what's driving your attitude, I only know what caused mine. I can garrantee you a few things though:

1. The desire for plain old lusty sex won't go away.
2. The desire for a relationship won't go away.
3. If you don't lighten up and get to know your peers, you'll be just as lonely and bitter as me.

I'm a gradutate student and train on a near-elite (wannabe anyway) athletic level. I haven't got time to date (hell I shouldn't be farting around writing this) and I'm sufficiently distracted that my abysimal dating life isn't a huge bother. You'd think that sex drive and relationship desire would ease up some, but they're always there.

Dark Cobra

Thank you for your input, but I honestly am not interested in anybody on a romantic level! I have actually developed attractions to people in the past, I found out they were

1) Not like me

2) Fairly religious (!!!)

and so I used mind tricks to kill the attraction (it worked to some degree).

At least I know I have good self-control.

scombrid

I know you don't want to hear it but in college there isn't much of a social ladder effect on popularity and finding relationships. Go to a huge school and I garrantee that you'll find a substantial group to your liking no matter how wierd you are. You just need to turn off the cynicism because it grows in your mind like a fungus.

Oh, as for the social ladder if you don't go to college, just get some "friends in low places ". My cousin "Buck" that lives in a trailer park and never holds a steady job (pretty dumpy looking to boot with the tattoos and the mullet) sired two children with two different women by the time he was 23. He's even got himself a wife now.

pariah

they dont have to be as good at computer games as you are? jesus man, how come you havent found a girly yet?

as jesus once said, [edited insult, CG] and the bitches will flow.

honestly...stop being so whiny, self obssessed, and depressed (b/c you are better than everyone no less). no one finds those things attractive. i mean, even if you DID find someone on your "intelectual level", [edited insult, CG]

others have said it over and over, the same "intellectual level" doesnt mean the same opinions.

and OH MY GOD THEY WERE FAIRLY RELIGIOUS. so. fucking. what. as long as they dont care about your beleifs, why should you care about theirs?

Autonemesis

Dark Cobra, I have two words for you: Porn Video

And you'd better not complain that the plot's shallow, either...