Freethought & Rationalism Archive

fromtheright · 12-23-2002, 05:29 AM

OK, so it's not "freethought humor":

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said,
"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Vinnie · 12-23-2002, 06:43 AM

Teh j0ke is Funnay!

BigJim · 12-23-2002, 07:43 AM

hahahaha

GunnerJ · 12-23-2002, 08:15 AM

A winner is you!

Proxima Centauri · 01-04-2003, 08:18 AM

Absolutely disgraceful what they get up to in Hell.

cheetah · 01-04-2003, 10:01 PM

:notworthy

Strawberry · 01-04-2003, 10:05 PM

I actually considered passing this on to my dad. The 'ew' factor got the better of me, but I'm glad for my keyboard's sake that I wasn't drinking anything when I read this. :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Taffsadar · 01-07-2003, 07:06 AM

Lol!

Sleeping Dragon · 01-07-2003, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: Strawberry
I actually considered passing this on to my dad. The 'ew' factor got the better of me, but I'm glad for my keyboard's sake that I wasn't drinking anything when I read this.

Lol, I actually did pass it on to my parents, and my dad promptly sent it off to everyone on his funnies list.

ApostateAbe · 01-07-2003, 01:51 PM

There is a terrorist nuclear bomb detonated in Washington, and George W. Bush, Colin Powell, and Donald Rumsfeld all find each other in Hell.

Satan appears before the three of them. From the flames in front of Bush arises an ugly old hag with grey hair and rotting teeth, and Satan says to Bush: "Mr. President, you have sinned. You must spend eternity in her arms!" So the old hag embraces Bush, and they sink into the flames.

So Powell and Rumsfeld are standing alone. Then, from the flames in front of Colin Powell arises a horrible beastly woman with slimy hair, scaly black skin, and green fangs. Satan says to Colin: "Mr. Powell, you have sinned. You must spend eternity in her arms!" And so it happens.

Now Donald Rumsfeld is standing alone and is very nervous. Then, from the flames in front of Rumsfeld arises Britney Spears in a bathing suit! And Satan says, "Ms. Spears, you have sinned..."

12-23-2002, 05:29 AM	#1
fromtheright Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Huntsville, AL Posts: 633	Bush goes to hell OK, so it's not "freethought humor": One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George. The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

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12-23-2002, 06:43 AM	#2
Vinnie Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Waterbury, Ct, Usa Posts: 6,523	Teh j0ke is Funnay!

12-23-2002, 07:43 AM	#3
BigJim Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Stepford, CT Posts: 4,296	hahahaha

12-23-2002, 08:15 AM	#4
GunnerJ Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: a place where i can list whatever location i want Posts: 4,871	A winner is you!

01-04-2003, 08:18 AM	#5
Proxima Centauri Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: England, the EU. Posts: 2,403	Absolutely disgraceful what they get up to in Hell.

01-04-2003, 10:01 PM	#6
cheetah Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 2,118	:notworthy

01-04-2003, 10:05 PM	#7
Strawberry Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lancaster, PA/Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 627	I actually considered passing this on to my dad. The 'ew' factor got the better of me, but I'm glad for my keyboard's sake that I wasn't drinking anything when I read this. :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

01-07-2003, 07:06 AM	#8
Taffsadar Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The land of the free, Sweden Posts: 27	Lol!

01-07-2003, 01:51 PM	#10
ApostateAbe Contributor Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: MT Posts: 10,656	There is a terrorist nuclear bomb detonated in Washington, and George W. Bush, Colin Powell, and Donald Rumsfeld all find each other in Hell. Satan appears before the three of them. From the flames in front of Bush arises an ugly old hag with grey hair and rotting teeth, and Satan says to Bush: "Mr. President, you have sinned. You must spend eternity in her arms!" So the old hag embraces Bush, and they sink into the flames. So Powell and Rumsfeld are standing alone. Then, from the flames in front of Colin Powell arises a horrible beastly woman with slimy hair, scaly black skin, and green fangs. Satan says to Colin: "Mr. Powell, you have sinned. You must spend eternity in her arms!" And so it happens. Now Donald Rumsfeld is standing alone and is very nervous. Then, from the flames in front of Rumsfeld arises Britney Spears in a bathing suit! And Satan says, "Ms. Spears, you have sinned..."

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