Viti

I didn't mean legally...I meant from a parent/school standpoint. Schools have become a police state instead of helping children grow intellectually, physically AND emotionally. Seems to me that kids in trouble could be identified and help sought...thats all.

There are some specific things in the nature of most victims of bullying that can be addressed. Some of them are also taught to adults to help prevent us from being targeted for crimes. Things like direct eye contact, walking with confidence, etc.

RevDahlia

Granted that bullying is an unavoidable part of childhood, and that it can, with careful adult involvement, be turned into a learning experience.... however, given that most kids can't count on enough adult involvement in general, it's safer for the grownups who can to make sure it doesn't happen in the first place. Failing that, teaching kids how to stand up for themselves can have an impact -- ice hockey and martial arts helped me a great deal. Not just because I gained ass-kicking skills, but because I learned that ass-kicking really doesn't help matters most of the time.

I still can't view bullying as a good thing. Inevitable, maybe, but not good.

meritocrat

So you do agree that bullying can help a person?

souperman

The sad part was, the bully didn't just target me, he targeted all the seventh graders, since he was in eighth grade. He was a midget, I could have easily taken him in a fight. But noooo, one touch on him, I'd be kicked out of school for what, a week?

I really don't understand the zero tolerance policy. People should be able to fight back if they're able, and "chivalry," i.e, one person standing up for the weaker person who's being mistreated, should be allowed.

Eh, one more year I'm out of public school... /curse the Texas education system.

Viti

What are you smoking? I have stated numerous times that NO, for the most part bullying is harmful to the bully, to the victim and to society. I will concede that in some cases with some individuals, standing up to a bully may build their confidence...but there are many other ways without the underlying anger and violence...things like martial arts, sports, dancing, singing, and drama.

I think we need to identify bullies and get them help (therapy or family counseling) because they are unable to cope effectively with their anger and control issues. I think vicitms also need some form of counseling to help them with the low self esteem and feelings of helplessness they end up with as the result of bullying.

meritocrat

So if you 'concede' that standing up to bullying would help a person, why denouce the view that bullying is not always harmful?

scigirl

Do you apply this line of reasoning to just bullying, or to any form of aggression?

I think your argument is weak, unfounded, not to mention disgusting.

You can't prove that all those people who apparently gained confidence from standing up to a bully wouldn't have gotten a chance later to build that confidence. I for instance didn't used to have much confidence, and I used to be really shy. Unfortunately, I wasn't really picked on that much so I didn't have anyone to stand up to and realize my inner potential. Instead, I had to pay a bunch of money and go to college. There, I become a resident advisor which helped my social skills, and I succeeded in a tough major which helped my intellectual confidence.

Maybe I should sue my high school because they cracked down on bullies and deprived me of my god-given right to stand up for myself.

Shit, meritocrat - lots of bad things happen to people, and sometimes the people are able to deal with it. This doesn't justify the bad things. I'm sure slavery was great for black people's VO2 max and resting heart rate. I could go on, but honestly this is ridiculous.

scigirl

Viti

Excuse me? What part of the word SOME is confusing you? I conceded that it is possible in some cases...but harmful overall. We cannot know ahead of time which kids might get a confidence boost and which kids would commit suicide or shoot up their school in retaliation.

You are being an obtuse troll and have yet to offer any documentation for anything nor any compelling reason for your opinion.

sweep

well, yeah sure, of course you're right meritocrat. I mean that's what bullys are there for. I give you a daily beating, and continually berate you for being a 'fag, homo, loser etc' and you learn to kick back. Where is the harm in that?

Here is a good example of bullying. Following the example is a description of the bully today:

As children we were playing together. That is myself and four others. The alpha male of the pack, who I will later describe in greater detail, was a role model for the others. We would all copy his behaviour in order to bond and to be liked, as part of the team. One boy, it seemed, was there for the sole purpose of making fun. How else could we feel better about ourselves? In one instance, that I won't forget, we all climbed a wall. The group idiot was last to climb. The leader, at the top, then took out his penis and urinated over this boy as he climbed. The other two followed suit as a mark of respect for the leader, and to make fun of the idiot.

The leader lives near to me today. He is a violent man, and has almost kicked someone to death. He has bitten off noses and ears and he has robbed many who have trusted him, including myself. Despite being witty, and generally fun to be with, he has become increasingly involved with other dangerous people and if you want to teach him a lesson you had better be prepared to kill him.

This was the same man that beat me over the head with a roll of wall paper, spilt glue over my head, robbed me of over a thousand pounds, and tried to get me to 'call Debbie a bitch'
My first experience of him was at eight years old when he stole my football boots. The only time I saw him 'weak as a kitten was when he burst in to interrupt our peaceful stoners session. Claiming to take our 'pussy weed' after fourteen pints he took a draw on the bong. The noisy one was humbled by the might of the weed!

How about this? What if we build the youth of today by finding their strengths and developing their interpersonal skills. Thereby we help people express themselves better, and give them a sense of worth.

Well, perhaps I'm not being really constructive as far as you are concerned, meritocrat. Are you generally ignored? Why do you persist with an unpopular view? Do you feel you aren't heard?
Some of us here don't like your view. Are you the victim on this board, or are/were you a bully?

Majestyk

Sorry to nit-pick but, I think part of the problem with this discussion is the definitions we are using. Some of the personal accounts and end results (such as in your quote), offered in this thread, go beyond simple bullying.