Brahma's atheist

I feel like I'm on heat sometimes. I'm just constantly looking about for attractive women to look at.It's like being addicted. I need a fix of beauty. It's so hard not to look. It's so obvious as well. The craning to see the girl behind me or over there somewhere.
It must be so unappealing and a total turn off.
It is soul-destroying as well.
On an episode of Boomtown one of the characters tells of how he was in the car with his wife at lights. A guy walks by and glances in."He's checking you out"
"No he's not," the wife says,"he wants me to check him out."
Hurray it's not just me then, I thought. It's true. When you look at an attractive person you want them to look back at you.
"A fit woman looked at me. I must be worth looking at"
But it's just normal eye contact isn't it? You get told about it a lot on these 'How-to-date' programmes on TV.
If you glance at the person you are interested in and they look back and you hold there gaze for a critical time you've done it or at least started it.
Its just never happened to me.

meritocrat

There's nothing wrong with 'eyeing' people up in my view. I think most people do it from time to time (even if they are in a relationship).

It's only natural to admire the looks of someone whom you find physically attractive.

butswana

I oogle women all the time.
Am I a pervert? A letcher?
Is it my fault that this planet is literally crawling with beautiful women?
You couldn't swing a dead cat without smacking a gorgeous specimen worthy of worship.
Don't feel bad about it. Just enjoy it.
As long as you don't sit in your car doing the five knuckle shuffle as women walk by, I think you'll be okay.

Jagged

I generally don't mind if a man looks at me appreciatively. It's flattering. Just so long as it's not for more than a moment, and his eyes do not convey anything sinister. If you want to look more than a moment, I suggest trying to meet her eyes and seeing if she is comfortable with the attention. If a strange man is willing to meet my eyes first, I often will not mind if he looks all he wants. I just need to see that he respects me and his intentions are not malicious. If someone continues to look at my body but avoids my eyes, yes, that bothers me (a lot). Also, if a woman's eyes are unwelcoming, looking away is the respectful response.

Please understand that women must err on the side of caution just to be safe. And it can cause serious fear if a stranger oogles our bodies with lust in his eyes.

Shadowy Man

Jagged:

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Jagged

AquaVita

Oops..shadowy, you did the suggestive winky smiley, and you got the "you're a nice person, but I really would just like to be friends" smiley.

Sorry guy.



So...hello there Jagged


But in all seriousness... I'm not really comfortable "staring" at a woman. I just can't shake the impression that they are irritated by it. Unless I'm getting some serious good vibes from one, in which case, I'm happy to show my interest, I tend to err on the side of caution.

pescifish

I have a couple of women friends who always got that sort of attention for most of their youth. For them, it's been a horrible let down as they age and lose their apparent oggle-worthiness.

AquaVita

That is so depressing.

pescifish

It is! It's something I (fortunately?) can't relate to, but I can empathize when they describe it.

Sometimes it's good to be invisible.

For me, since I was never really the object of that sort of random social energy, it has at least kept that aspect out of the disappointments inherent in aging. I hate aging, but nots because I'm losing 'my looks'!