WWSD

I'm not sure Cthulhu had a nose...

Isn;t he more or less an octopod with a humanoid body?
I don't remember, I haven't been down to Rlyeh for a while now and the last time I was there I went insane.
Speaking of which, I'm thinking of visiting Kadath in the cold wastes this summer, anyone ever been?

Pitshade

Speaking of which, I'm thinking of visiting Kadath in the cold wastes this summer, anyone ever been?

Only in my dreams, of course.

ju'iblex

i'd kick all their arses. digest them alive, i would.

THE_LEGENDARY_HQB

To the Beast:

Are you aware that you will be tormented by Helmut Kohl forcefeeding you 20 Euro notes with mustard on the Night of the 1000 Marmosets? Have you followed any of the 12 Demandments given to us by the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD? Allow me to reiterate them for you here:

THE 12 DEMANDMENTS.
I. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you fertilize your lawn with Prussic acid and Clown Mucous, that MY awesome power might be made manifest to all.

II. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, though I posesseth the Attribute of Absolute Omnipresence, yet I often choose not to use it, for I am the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, and sometimes I need a break from the perfidy of this Tartar Sauce worshipping world. Therefore, in MY absence, I DEMAND that MY followers bow down and prostrate themselves before Graven Images and Idols of ME, for though I may not be indwelt in all of them, yet MY Sightless Eye shall record their adoration, and they shall be rewarded with the finest Grass Skirts and Eternal Gummi Worms.

III. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you save your
Dingleberries and serve them to nonbelievers as "Party Mix", that
you might demonstrate MY Righteous hatred of them.

IV. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you refrain from racing ostriches, decapitating eels, plastic surgery, and turkey bowling on Thursdays, for Thursday is MY Holy Day, and on that day there can be no hindrances to you worshipping ME and stroking MY Holy Ego.

V. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND a sacrifice of 3 bags of Gummi worms, 2 cans of Pac Man Pasta, and 6 cheese sticks, every Thursday between 6:10 and 6:15pm in MY annointed place, the Kaputarium.

VI. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you spread the Ovary Cleansing Salvation to every planet using specially trained
Tapeworms.

VII. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that Fleapowder be burned to exhalt MY glorious name, for its noxious fumes are sweet to MY nostrils.

VIII. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that, on the Night of the 1000 Marmosets, MY followers slaughter every nonbeliever in sight, preferably with sporks, for their ovaries are unclean, and MY wrath abideth in them.

IX. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you consume Break Fluid, eat Snausages, believe absolutely in MY infallible Word, the Holy Book of Reynolds, recognize that men do indeed have Ovaries which must be cleansed, order "Salvation for Dummies", and recognize MY Prophet, Hieronymus Q Blankenship, as MY Earthly Representative as a condition of having ME dwell in your liver and bestow MY gift of Eternal Bliss in the Promised Gizzard unto you.

X. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you renounce all religions involving Fat Noblemen, Rubber Chickens, and Psychic Squid, for they are false religions, and their path leads to the Sea of Beans which burns with Flatulence and Acne.

XI. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND that you declare: "There is NO salvation in Tartar Sauce" to the unbelieving world, for whilst you shall find persecution, condemnation and ridicule is your lot in this life, you shall rejoice in the Promised Gizzard, as you watch your tormenters' agony in the Sea of Beans on MY High Definition Wide Screen TV.

XII. I, the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, DEMAND THAT you recognize the Sacred Triumvirate of SMOOSHIE the Nephew, the TIN HEAD the Aunt, and HYMIE the Holy Kangaroo, as Manifestations of MY Divinity, and that these 3 are One, united as they are in the warm, moist pouch of HYMIE, the Holy Kangaroo.

Perhaps this quote from the Holy Book of Reynolds will educate you about your fate:

"...And the taxidermist fell to his knees and cried: "O Holy Prophet of the Ovary Cleansing Salvation, what must I do, that I might have the TIN HEAD dwell in my liver? Must I forsake my homemade Ritalin, my collection of Michael Jackson Dolls, my Liberace Lubrication, and my finely aged Bleu Toe Cheese, to demonstrate my love of HIM?"
And the Emperor Norton gently patted him on the head and bade him rise.
"My good man, thou needest mot forsake these things, indeed, I doubt your collection of Liberace Lubrication can hold a candle to mine, neither do ypu posess the original Jackson 5 collector series! But let no man be decieved! For the TIN HEAD, who was boiled in pea soup, crushed by a steamroller, and had HIS left eye eaten by army ants, to prove that HIS testicles were larger than any man's, then ascended 10 seconds later to rest in the pouch of HYMIE, The Holy Kangaroo, has commanded HIS people to follow ALL HIS DEMANDMENTS! For our ALUMINUM SAVIOUR is Mighty, and Holy, and HIS Ego is infinite, such that HE must have his will followed to the letter.
Verily, in the days of old, there were many who said: Surely the TIN HEAD does not expect us to drink brake fluid, and fertilize our lawns with prussic acid and clown mucous! These are allegories, wonderful metaphors! Nay, I say! Is the Sea of Beans a "metaphor"? Are the drag Queen Zebras of this horrible abode a "metaphor"? Is the Windex and Asparagus juice that the damned are compelled to ingest a "metaphor"? Is the stench of their flatulence, which reeketh more than the worst flatulence man can concieve of, even after eating onion soup, merely a "metaphor"? I say unto thee, nay! So, my friend, you need not forsake the things of this life, but you MUST believe ABSOLUTELY in the ONE who made us all from a lump of HIS Magnificent ear wax! And you MUST follow all HIS Demandments!"
{The Teachings of the Emperor Norton, pages 110-111, Lines 200-226}

And finally, remember this one:

"...And it came to pass that ChikenHedz the Righteous was praying for the HEAD'S guidance. And lo, the Wildebeest did appear to him, disguised as the most respected animal of the day, a Dung Beetle, and said. "Oh ye of many arms and strong Bowells, why dost thou think that the TIN HEAD alone posesses the keys to Salvation? Cannot one find truth in yellow snow,or in Tartar Sauce, or in the brayings of a schizophrenic Donkey, or perhaps in Elephant Saliva? And ChikenHedz turned to him and said: "Nay, I say! For the word of the ALLMGHTY TIN HEAD is flawless, and it declares that there can be no redemption outside of HIM. For we must have our ALUMINUM SAVIOUR residing in our livers, to escape HIS righteous condemnation. Therefore, I command you to depart from me, thou clogger of toilets, for thy path is paved with bubbling tar and decomposing midgets, and though thou seekest to draft me into your unholy army of mutated Beef Jerky, yet I shall not be party to thy iniquity!"
And the Wildebeest, through the Power of the Holy Kangaroo, was sent back to the Sea of Beans, uttering curses and blasphemies all the while. And ChikenHedz found great favour with the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD, such that he emulsified thousands into the Gizzard, and slaughtered thousands of nonbelievers with a spork."
Revelations of ChikenHedz The Righteous, pages 55-56, lines 50-69}

So, Beast, it is YOU who are in trouble. Beware believers with sporks!
Lades,
The Legendary HQB, Esq.
Supreme Sabelotodo and High Priest of the Kaputarium of the ALLMIGHTY TIN HEAD.

Azathoth

*Sigh* First that Carter fellow,now you.

I'll have to have a talk with Nyarlathotep about letting people in so easily.It's not Club Med,we're talking about,here.

Well,back to gibbering.

*Gibber* *Gibber* *Gibber*

...oh,and Blaspheming.I've been meaning to do some of that as well.What with the gibbering and all,my schedule is usually full.




Good choice.A vote for the Elder Gods is a vote for change (you may not like the change,but change,nonetheless).I'm not running,though.I'm all booked up,well into the next millenium.


Our candidate,Cthulhu however,is running in 2004.

Cthulhu for President

Campaign Positions

Right now,he's hot on the campaign trail,drumming up votes.Shaking hands and kissing,then eating,babies.

Defiant Heretic

Actually, from what I've read (the first 2 books) it sounded more like revenge+1 was the suggestion.


Anyway, back to the original topic: Although it can be a waste of time to argue with someone who believes myths are as true as truth, it can be an interesting study in human psychology, or simply amusing.

So please, come back. We're not done answering your insults and threats with those of our own yet.

Ronin

~ my gold is on the slimelord.

Javaman

I think thebeast is long, long gone.

Yellum Notnef

Was theBeast banned?

The Beast seemed to disappear right after a moderator said he/it was about to get humped in his/it`s behind.

Pitshade

No.