WWSD

For about the past month and a half I have really started to head downhill. I've been, since I was a teenager, an on and off gloomy person. But lately I have been far more depressed than I have ever been before. A friend of mine suggested that I should see a therapist and she even collected all the necessary information about where to go.

I have been resisting the idea of going to see someone because I don't know that they can really help me. I don't want to take meds and I'm not sure that sitting around chatting about my stupid problems is going to help. I keep thinking that they are insoluble due to the nature of my life and reality. Some of them are, and I'm working on those, but so many other things in my life and in the world I have no control over. I don't know how talking to some strange person is going to help. I don't know what they could suggest that I do to stop this cycle.

I know things are getting worse, I'm in pretty bad shape as far as my broken brain goes. My friend sees it, she says I look so sad. Twice now she has offered to either call or to walk me to the health center to make an appontment. I vacillate between agreeing with her and thinking its a waste of time.

I don't know.
Today I think it would be a good idea. But tomorrow I might decide that I can deal with it on my own.

Enai

You don't have to take meds, and besides, (at least here in germany) a therapist can't prescribe them, only a physician (ideally a psychiatrist) can. I happen to think that therapy can help you cope with problems you can't avoid and can help you overcome the problems you have. Besides, I happen to think that no-ones problems are "stupid". No competent therapist would make you feel that way.

The only real problem I see is with money. Does your health care provider pay? If not, can you afford it?

Try it and decide then, I'd say. I'll be having an orientation meeting with a therapist in august to see whether therapy might help me, and which form. I'll just look and maybe, it'll help my depression. I must say, though, that the medication made one hell of a difference after only two weeks!

I have some resources for you to peruse, if you like, too:

http://www.undoingdepression.com is a website by a therapist who has himself suffered from depression. It has a lot of useful articles.

http://www.mental-health-matters.com has resources about a lot more mental health problems than only depression. I haven't been able to read it all, and I usually gobble anything up that looks like information.

Also, it seems you have a great friend! She seems to care a lot about you. Congratulations on that.

I hope you get better soon.
Enai

sakrilege

Therapy can be a big help. A good therapist will help with the type of thinking that is destructive (Should've, Could've, Would've) and won't necessarily talk about past problems. The thing to remember is that there are different approaches that work for different types of people. It may take time to find the right therapist for you but once found can be a big help. My therapy was only for 10 sessions at most but I feel it made all the difference to me since I was taught thinking strategies for everyday.

Good luck.

Viti

I posted this in another thread and it seems to fit here as well. Some people are more comfortable speaking to an objective third party that is not involved in their day to day life. With a therapist you can say anything without worrying if you're hurting their feelings, or if they are going to tell other people, or if they are going to judge you. They can provide concrete steps and coping strategies you may not have thought of.

Now, I have only had one serious bout of depression related to marital issues (which were resolved, partly with a therapist). It was very helpful to literally "spill" everything in one big gush and hear from a third party that my actions and thoughts were normal, and that there were some things I could do to in an effort improve the sitution for myself or come to terms with it emotionally. My friends and family had tried to help, but they were not objective and all brought their own baggage to the discussion which was NOT helping me.

I believe taking some sort of concrete steps or actions goes far to counter the helpless and hopeless feelings that seem to accompany depression.

Also, I went to a doctor and asked for a temporary antidepressent. I told them I would not take one with sexual side effects or for a long period of time (so no weaning or withdrawal). I was prescribed Serzone which helped me greatly get over the worst of the hump. It was mild and didn't make me feel "not like me"...in fact I started feeling more and more like my normal self every day. Once I felt in control again I quit them cold turkey as it does not induce withdrawal symptoms like Prozac and others do.

Anyway, just my .02

mongrel

Mate, please consider yourself lucky you have a friend like that(I have done in the past). Don't let go of that friendship- it's very valuable. And listen to her. Just because you might not see any advantage to talking to a detached 3rd party- doesnt mean there won't be one- I found it's amazing what you can't see when the black dog's on ya shoulders.

SimplyAtheistic

Therapy might be a good choice if you need an objective party, but you should strongly consider talking to many friends before spending the money required on a therapist. If you do spend that money you might even slip further into depression because of new found debt. Check out resources online about how to think positively. Remember that your friends are great therapists in their own right. Make it clear you don't want them to tell anyone about your conversation. If this isn't an option, you might consider therapy, but the common sense provided there will not come cheap.
Jake

emotional

Why won't you take meds? They saved me from certain suicide.

WWSD

I don't want to take meds because of the side effects. I'm not so sure I want to fiddle with my neurochemistry either.

I realize that this is eliminating a possible avenue of treatment, but I am still averse to going on medication.

At this point I know that I have certain responsibilities to people, and that keeps me from tumbling over the edge. I cannot abandon this life just yet, which is my saving grace I suppose.

Therapy might be a good choice if you need an objective party, but you should strongly consider talking to many friends before spending the money required on a therapist. If you do spend that money you might even slip further into depression because of new found debt. Check out resources online about how to think positively. Remember that your friends are great therapists in their own right. Make it clear you don't want them to tell anyone about your conversation. If this isn't an option, you might consider therapy, but the common sense provided there will not come cheap.

Therapy for students is cheap at 10$ a session for 8 sessions and 25 thereafter, which is nice.
I cannot disclose all of my problems to my friends because some of my issues would damage those friendships and I can't lose that support right now, or ever.

I realize that the friends that I have, and especially that one friend, are my real social support. But there are limitations to how much they can provide, given that they have thier own lives and thier own problems to deal with.

Out of my own concern for them, I try to minimize the amount of gloominess I expose them to. I don't want to bring anyone down with me, so I can't continue to rely on them forever.

Additionally, there will come a time when I can't be around them as much anymore. Especially my one freind who cared enough to intervene. It breaks my heart to think about that. Though I know that we will always be friends to some degree, but someday we will not be so close anymore. It is the circumstances of the universe and cruel fate I suppose.

Anyway, I think I might call on monday. I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with this on my own.

Everything is going to be OK, right?

Buddrow_Wilson

Unfortunately, our neurochemistry tends to fiddle with us. I'm not sure what side effects you are worried about, but most of them go away with time. (sexual side-effects can be an issue still).

Maybe its the stigma that bothers you?

Eventually you will need selfish reasons. Curiosity seems to be what keeps me going.

Doesn't seem like you have anything to lose by trying.


Its definately not hopeless.

Enai

Then you're quite different from me. When I went to the doc, I wanted the misery to end, no matter how that was accomplished. I was relieved to take something, and it helped in the course of two weeks.

I would recommend you do so. It can only help you to talk about these things you can't talk to your friends about. Besides, it seems you'll get therapy at a very reasonable price, so go for it.

I hope you'll get much better soon.
Enai