Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Ispikes · 07-09-2003, 10:34 PM

These responses are hilarious!

Pity I don't have any dramatic ones to share, I have a slightly relevant tale though.

Couple of days ago I was trying to turn the grill on. We have a gas oven thingy and you have to press down on the dial to turn on the gas and push this button that lights the gas.
The fire often goes out if you don't hold the dial down long enough.
So there I was with the grill not lighting, but leaking gas. I stopped trying to light it and at that moment all the leaked gas ignited and my response was to pull back my almost-burnt hands, leap two metres in the air and scream.

echidna · 07-09-2003, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PopeInTheWoods
Not exactly cooking but microwaving. While using her good china, my mother discovered that gold is indeed a metal.

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten that light-show.

Darwin26 · 07-09-2003, 11:04 PM

outside of some serious self mutilation and some dehydrated water ... O and some real krrrrrrispy cookies ...i can only laff and wonder how some of you have lived this LONG

Daggah · 07-10-2003, 03:30 AM

If you want a lightshow, microwave a CD for a few seconds.

There will be a burnt smell but if you only do it for a few seconds the microwave should* be fine.

(*I am not liable for any damages.)

My only cooking-related mishap (aside from using too much seasoning on stuff occasionally) involves a TV dinner and a microwave. I didn't mess up on the cooking aspect, but when it came time to remove the tasty fake-meat, I reached in, grabbed it, and was promptly burned by escaping steam and dropped it on the ground (which, of course, landed upside down AND on my feet.)

sakrilege · 07-10-2003, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BigBlue2
Back when I was a stupid teenager (as opposed to the stupid 35-year-old I am now) I was frying some chips (french fries) in a pot of boiling oil. The oil caught fire, and me being the aforementioned stupid teenager tried to douse the flames by pouring a pot of water over it. Fortunately, the rsulting fireball didn't burn anything of importance, but only painted the kitchen black. I only avoided having my hair and other body parts torched through hitting the floor very quickly.

Been there, done that, just not as dramatic as yours sounds.

scarmig · 07-10-2003, 04:24 AM

Amateurs.

I decided one year that I was going to do a fried turkey for Thanksgiving. This is a situation where you take about five gallons of peanut oil, heat it over an open propane flame to a couple hundred degrees, and then drop a cold turkey in it.

The number of things that can possibly go wrong are quite numerous, as one can envision. In my case, I had forgotten to take into account the mass of the turkey in relation to the volume of oil and capacity of the cooking container.

So there I was, leaned over this 200 degree cauldren of oil like a tripod missing a leg, holding a 20 lb turkey by a metal hook, with oil blasting over the edge of the pot and onto the following items:

1. The wooden deck.
2. The open propane flame.
3. My canvas shoes.

You can imagine the scenarios that were racing through my rapidly greasing head.

My orders to my wife to, "Get a big pot! QUICK!" were never so serious.

All ended well and without injury or prayer.

Asha'man · 07-10-2003, 04:58 AM

Back in college, I had a roommate who didn't know to remove the plastic wrapper from a pizza before putting it into the oven.

Stiletto One · 07-10-2003, 05:14 AM

Gummy Bear. Plus inserted sliver of aluminum foil. Plus microwave oven.

Some of the gummy bears actually blew up, others just caught on fire.

April Fools' Day prank on another hall: I live in a dorm during the school year. (I'm such an asshole...

)

Jimmy Higgins · 07-10-2003, 05:35 AM

Not much violence in my cooking.

One time I forgot baking soda in my Banana Nut Bread. It became a rather dense (though still delicious Banana Nut Cake). Another time I made Coffee Bread. It came out as Coffee goo. I'm still not too sure what happened, I may have forgotten the flour somehow, or grossly inadequate amounts of it.

All my other cooking usually goes fine. No fires, rarely a disaster. Well there was one time I made a chocolate cake from scratch. The recipe came from a very old, early 1900's book. I swear you could have soaked the entire cake in a vat of milk, and it would have sucked the vat dry, and the cake still would have been dry. It wasn't me, that was the recipe.

Loki · 07-10-2003, 06:07 AM

*laughs until a stitch in her side forms*

This is exactly what I needed! You guys are all such good story tellers, too; I have visions of people jumping away from giant fireballs and exploding eggs and gummi bears. Oh, thank you all for the much needed laugh

Personallly, I have avoided horrible mishaps, but have twice fried an egg to a teflon pan. I'm still scratching my head about that one.

As for microwaving cds, 2.5 seconds in an 800 W microwave will makes arcs. But it smells sort of foul.

My mom claims that she once blew up a turkey in the oven cause she stuffed it too full.

07-09-2003, 11:04 PM	#13
Darwin26 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Encino, CA Posts: 806	a slice of life outside of some serious self mutilation and some dehydrated water ... O and some real krrrrrrispy cookies ...i can only laff and wonder how some of you have lived this LONG

07-10-2003, 04:58 AM	#17
Asha'man Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: southeast Posts: 2,526	Pizza in the Oven Back in college, I had a roommate who didn't know to remove the plastic wrapper from a pizza before putting it into the oven.

07-10-2003, 05:14 AM	#18
Stiletto One Beloved Deceased Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 7,150	Gummy Bear. Plus inserted sliver of aluminum foil. Plus microwave oven. Some of the gummy bears actually blew up, others just caught on fire. April Fools' Day prank on another hall: I live in a dorm during the school year. (I'm such an asshole...)

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07-09-2003, 10:34 PM	#11
Ispikes Regular Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Nowhere interesting Posts: 164	These responses are hilarious! Pity I don't have any dramatic ones to share, I have a slightly relevant tale though. Couple of days ago I was trying to turn the grill on. We have a gas oven thingy and you have to press down on the dial to turn on the gas and push this button that lights the gas. The fire often goes out if you don't hold the dial down long enough. So there I was with the grill not lighting, but leaking gas. I stopped trying to light it and at that moment all the leaked gas ignited and my response was to pull back my almost-burnt hands, leap two metres in the air and scream.

07-10-2003, 03:30 AM	#14
Daggah Banned Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Deployed to Kosovo Posts: 4,314	If you want a lightshow, microwave a CD for a few seconds. There will be a burnt smell but if you only do it for a few seconds the microwave should* be fine. (*I am not liable for any damages.) My only cooking-related mishap (aside from using too much seasoning on stuff occasionally) involves a TV dinner and a microwave. I didn't mess up on the cooking aspect, but when it came time to remove the tasty fake-meat, I reached in, grabbed it, and was promptly burned by escaping steam and dropped it on the ground (which, of course, landed upside down AND on my feet.)

07-10-2003, 04:24 AM	#16
scarmig Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Somewhere Posts: 689	Amateurs. I decided one year that I was going to do a fried turkey for Thanksgiving. This is a situation where you take about five gallons of peanut oil, heat it over an open propane flame to a couple hundred degrees, and then drop a cold turkey in it. The number of things that can possibly go wrong are quite numerous, as one can envision. In my case, I had forgotten to take into account the mass of the turkey in relation to the volume of oil and capacity of the cooking container. So there I was, leaned over this 200 degree cauldren of oil like a tripod missing a leg, holding a 20 lb turkey by a metal hook, with oil blasting over the edge of the pot and onto the following items: 1. The wooden deck. 2. The open propane flame. 3. My canvas shoes. You can imagine the scenarios that were racing through my rapidly greasing head. My orders to my wife to, "Get a big pot! QUICK!" were never so serious. All ended well and without injury or prayer.

07-10-2003, 05:35 AM	#19
Jimmy Higgins Contributor Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Proud Citizen of Freedonia Posts: 42,473	Not much violence in my cooking. One time I forgot baking soda in my Banana Nut Bread. It became a rather dense (though still delicious Banana Nut Cake). Another time I made Coffee Bread. It came out as Coffee goo. I'm still not too sure what happened, I may have forgotten the flour somehow, or grossly inadequate amounts of it. All my other cooking usually goes fine. No fires, rarely a disaster. Well there was one time I made a chocolate cake from scratch. The recipe came from a very old, early 1900's book. I swear you could have soaked the entire cake in a vat of milk, and it would have sucked the vat dry, and the cake still would have been dry. It wasn't me, that was the recipe.

07-10-2003, 06:07 AM	#20
Loki Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Land of hippies and fog Posts: 2,075	laughs until a stitch in her side forms This is exactly what I needed! You guys are all such good story tellers, too; I have visions of people jumping away from giant fireballs and exploding eggs and gummi bears. Oh, thank you all for the much needed laugh Personallly, I have avoided horrible mishaps, but have twice fried an egg to a teflon pan. I'm still scratching my head about that one. As for microwaving cds, 2.5 seconds in an 800 W microwave will makes arcs. But it smells sort of foul. My mom claims that she once blew up a turkey in the oven cause she stuffed it too full.

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